Marrying your cousin

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: Marrying your cousin

i don’t see any reference to infer that cousine marriage is ‘discouraged’ :konfused:

62

Re: Marrying your cousin

I don't see any evidence that you've read my post properly.

63

Re: Marrying your cousin

How is it not? Can't say about you but this is the impression I got after the reading the OP and similar post. Surely if it was so 'creepy' and so 'wrong', Allah swt would not have made it halal! This is simply my input, I'm not here to enforce my opinion on anyone.

[QUOTE]
It is not. And noone is saying that its haram.

It is discouraged, simple.

[/QUOTE]

Divorces is discouraged as well. Doesn't mean they don't happen and cannot happen. If a woman is trapped in an abusive marriage, what would a credible scholar say to her? Get divorce and save your life or no no you must continue to get beaten up because divorce is not encouraged. Similarly, you can't stop cousins from marrying each other if they genuinely want to marry each other. Jab mian biwi raazi tou kya kare ga Qazi...and Islam totally supports the idea of considering the wishes of girl and boy more than anyone else.

[QUOTE]
As for ''ew'' I get those people. I have cousins who are like my sisters, who I've grown up with; if someone were to come to me and say ''marry her'' I won't go and be smiles, my reaction will be that I will say eew too. But as I said people who do marry in family good for them! They found love all the best to them, I personally wouldn't do it.
[/QUOTE]

Glad to know that and honestly I am not here to suggest you that you should go out and marry your cousin. Please do not get offended if I say that every family has its own dynamics, there are plenty of families where cousins of opposite sex are not raised as brothers and sisters. After a certain age, they develop a very clear sense of who is mehram and who is namehram (something that is also encouraged in Islam).

64

Re: Marrying your cousin

how dare you …

I feel offended :mad:

65

Re: Marrying your cousin

[QUOTE]
How is it not? Can't say about you but this is the impression I got after the reading the OP and similar post. Surely if it was so 'creepy' and so 'wrong', Allah swt would not have made it halal! This is simply my input, I'm not here to enforce my opinion on anyone.
[/QUOTE]

I was referring to my post, my bad. If someone calls it illegal then they should perhaps too do some reading.

[QUOTE]
Islam totally supports the idea of considering the wishes of girl and boy more than anyone else.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]
Please do not get offended if I say that every family has its own dynamics, there are plenty of families where cousins of opposite sex are not raised as brothers and sisters. After certain age, they have a very clear sense of who is mehram and who is namehram (something that is also encouraged in Islam).
[/QUOTE]

This would come under where I said ''people who do cousin marriages good for them''.

I am using your logic here of ''every family has its own dynamics''. My and a lot of other families do not like cousin marriages as we see our cousins as siblings. Other families marry with cousins and good for them, I don't have anything against it. I just wouldn't practice it.

66

Re: Marrying your cousin

When people want to bash cousin marriages, I think they should really make it clear why cousins marriage cannot work for them individually, instead of pretending how cousin marriage are oh so wrong, creepy, disgusting, disastrous etc for the entire human race.

And really I am talking about isolated, on off type cousin marriage in families, not the bloody tradition of only marrying cousins. Thats just totally wrong.

67

Re: Marrying your cousin

so that thread from a forum is your 'source' of suggesting that cousine marriage is discouraged??

68

Re: Marrying your cousin

Read my post again.

Copy past my above reply for further replies from you.

[QUOTE]
When people want to bash cousin marriages, I think they should really make it clear why cousins marriage cannot for them individually, instead of pretending why cousin marriage are oh so wrong, creepy, disgusting, disastrous etc for the entire human race.

And really I am talking about isolated, on off cousin marriage in families, not the bloody tradition of only marrying cousin
[/QUOTE]

Indeed

69

Re: Marrying your cousin

^ so you don’t want to reply and beat about the bush about what source is your ‘hadith’??

good enough for me…:rolleyes:

unconfirmed hadith as basis for suggesting something as ‘discouraged’…:k:

70

Re: Marrying your cousin

Read.

CAREFULLY.

My. Post.

Please, otherwise it makes YOU look bad. I don’t like to waste my time replying at stuff that I have already written for others to read and then repeat myself.

Hence as I said, multiply my reply to you five times for every reply you give.

71

Re: Marrying your cousin

no it doesn't make me look bad................ you can keep your condescending attitude going on for infinity...... still doesn't change the fact that you didn't cite a reference from hadith books....

72

Re: Marrying your cousin

It does make you look bad bud since you don’t really bother reading properly or checking properly before posting. Check the second post from the link I gave my Einstien friend, then copy paste its content in google (like I mentioned google in my post, which you failed to read not once, not twice but three times)

**‘Ihya Ulum id Din’ ‘‘Cousin marriages’’

**​Then come back and reply. Amazing what reading something can do! :rolleyes:

73

Re: Marrying your cousin

I fail to see how divorce and cousin marriage are comparable. If we can't establish that then this whole discussion is pretty pointless.

74

Re: Marrying your cousin

That i didnt understand as well.

75

Re: Marrying your cousin

^oh well. :S i missed a sentence. hheh.

76

Re: Marrying your cousin

This.

Anywyas I agree with the whole quote--personally could never marry a cousin, and honestly, I'm so glad that my parents never pushed the idea on me...ever.

77

Re: Marrying your cousin

I have not read any hadith in this thread that says cousin marriages are discouraged. The hadith in link provided was not sahih Bukhari or Muslim. There are many fabricated hadith out there. I agree with those who mentioned that we should not try to taboofy or make it sound haram when it clearly isn't.

78

Re: Marrying your cousin

^ Searching on the internet will tell you what I am talking about, and its not one page but its page upon page. They can't be all lying. However you can choose to believe in some hadiths and not the others that's upto everyone I guess.

79

Re: Marrying your cousin

for me marrying a cousin is a big NO, not because what i grew up calling them (if i was marrying my cousin i wouldnot have cared about that since islam wise its fine) but because i am against getting married within family.

80

Re: Marrying your cousin

Islam allows cousin marriages, so I really don't have a problem with it. To each his own. For those who don't see their partner in a "sibling" sort of way......and can make the relationship work....that's all that matters.

While Islam permits cousin marriages, I've also heard that it recommends marriage outside the family. Perhaps the reason for this is to develop/expand alliances and bonds......and maybe even to avoid the health problems that can result from too much inbreeding.

What I DO have a problem with is.......people who treat cousin marriages as a RULE (like you must marry your cousin, it is the ONLY way)...because religion doesn't support that. And I also find the "Eeew, don't marry your cousin....you'll have mongloid babies" view annoying as well.....especially when people immediately jump to that conclusion and see it as a definite outcome. That, too, sounds ignorant. I find that to be a common view in non-Muslims....because they have limited knowledge about the issue. Whereas people who are more familiar with the practice (due to it being allowed by religion/culture) understand that this is not always the case....and cousin marriages can and do produce healthy offspring.