Fine, I will qualify that comment - he should be able to support (not afford) his immediate family - that would be himself, his nannay-munnays and his nannay-munnay’s amma.
Khush!
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
^ je :D
Fine, I will qualify that comment - he should be able to support (not afford) his immediate family - that would be himself, his nannay-munnays and his nannay-munnay's amma.
Khush!
nannay-munnays can wait for couple of years before gracing the world in such case. Only thing we have to see if he can afford ghar wali and if ghar wali can take on and ignore the questions about nanney-munneys for couple of years ....
Because that is how God has created the universe and all inside it.
Man was born from a woman Nomi, not another man. Say what you want about women but they are the ones who have to deal with permanent ramifications after giving birth. Some never fully recover from their deliveries physically. Emotionally being away from your child takes a toll on some women too. Ive seen it. My sisters went back to work but called home 20 times a day to hear their babies breathing.
So, if we have to deal with weakened bones, saggy stomachs, stretch marks, post-partum depression, etc…why shouldnt men take care of us? Why would a man want a woman to have kids AND work outside the house as well to provide for the family? What makes her sooooo deserving of the double duty? If she wants to, its fine. However, men shouldnt be expecting her to do it because thats the only real job they you have: to earn. And if that is too much for them to handle alone, then what else really do we need them for?
i think its only fair for men to have stretch marks on their face if we have to have em on our bodies
it should be a rule
Moral of the story that let a man take care of you . Let him do his best and you should do sabar shukar in whatever you have .
But sorry to say girls nowadays are no more same like our moms who can do sabar shukar .
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
what a nice way of saying women are primarily baby-machines. never really recovering from a pregnancy? you are trivializing those that have real issues by diluting them with every woman who's popped out a baby. and no, women arent so weak that giving birth turns them into a squiggly mass of inability. what nonsense..
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
'settled' has different connotations for different people. Some people might never get 'settled' the way they want to!
what a nice way of saying women are primarily baby-machines. never really recovering from a pregnancy? you are trivializing those that have real issues by diluting them with every woman who's popped out a baby. and no, women arent so weak that giving birth turns them into a squiggly mass of inability. what nonsense..
Actually, if you read my post carefully thats not what I said at all. I merely pointed out what they have to go through...is that all they can do? No. I specifically said they can work if they want.
Why stop at work? They can go to the moon if they want to. But should they be required to tend to their home, children, husband and work as well to support the family? No. Why? Where does the man come in all of this? His only job is to bring home the bacon and he cant even do that without whining up a storm??? No thank you to a man like that.
And just so you know...giving birth DOES affect a woman's body in permanent ways. She has to work twice as hard to lose weight if she wants to, most never recover their pre-pregnancy physiques. I know girls who were practically ripped open during delivery and had to be sewn up. It affects bladder control, even intimacy is affected by pregnancy!
Trivializing that experience is what some men love to do because it makes them feel better knowing they wont be depended upon. They dont want anyone to rely on them for anything. They wont have to shoulder responsibility for anyone else aside for themselves. That to me sounds like more of a personal problem than anything else.
Masking the fear of shouldering responsibility with this mumbo jumbo is pure garbage and very transparent.
Doing his “best” is relative. His best may be mediocre relative to her best - and not because he’s not capable, but because he lacks ambition.
So why then should she do sabar shukar for mediocrity?
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
Being settled or unsettled doesnt matter..he could have it one day and lose everythng the next..would u leave him then? money comes and goes..u jst gt to find a good person who u can live with through good times and bad..if hes rich to start with then its an added bonus sure..but whose to say u will get on..all the money in the world cant buy u peace of mind :-(
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
if you're having an arranged marriage, you're gonna want the best deal you can get. so stop yer whining.
Doing his "best" is relative. His best may be mediocre relative to her best - and not because he's not capable, but because he lacks ambition.
So why then should she do sabar shukar for mediocrity?
Then don't marry him in the first place . dauh .
I didn’t
Good for him
Good thing I’m made of such stern stuff that I can laugh at my own expense. Touché.
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
who cares as long as one of them is rich..
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
I married someone who did not have much when we married.. he didnt have a job when we got engaged.
But ya know what... when u know someone is driven, someone is hardworking. It will work out, Inshallah.
We've been together through everything and we really do appreicate one another for everything that we've accomplished together. like Reha, i dont think i would have been ok marrying someone who had everything. I like achieving things together. U know, like buying ur first itsy bitsy fridge, then as time goes on.. getting onto the bigger fridge.. man, it feels like such an achievement.. LOL...
or u know from renting to buying/building.. its just such an awesome step or i guess u could say a significant milestone. And u really do count all ur blessings.
as long as u r both driven, and motivate one another, support one another.. anything is possible. The sky is the limit i say.
U never know when someone may lose their job for whatever reasons.
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
I personally don't want to see my future wife to suffer and do job to run the kitchen. I want to get fully settled in life as much as to keep 2 wives together ;)
Re: Marrying with/without being settled
I don't think it is important for a guy to have it all before he gets married or you marry him...as long as you know he is not a lazy bum...and that he is motivated and driven to make something of his life...then I think it is fine.
Wealth is not everything in life.