Re: Marrying a Convert
Oh yeah if she had a brother and he brought home a white girl their would be no issues and their parents would accept her with open arms. That is what pisses me off!!! Nobody in their khandan would be HAWWWWING and HAIIIIING
Re: Marrying a Convert
hmmm.. maybe you are right…
. I know people where a Pakistani guy married an Indian woman. They live happliy ever after no doubt but i think families are still millions of miles away from each other.
Then another family i know where Pakistani girl married and Indian guy. guy did convert few days before shadi. Last i heard he still goes to his temple every now and then. Girls family disowned her for years and just recently they started to meet again.
parental issues still exist but i guess. its less if the guy is Pakistani -
another differnce lazy *sigh
Re: Marrying a Convert
and nobody would care if they dated for 10 years and slept with each other and did God knows what else.
Re: Marrying a Convert
lol you dont like her parents do you
Re: Marrying a Convert
i can completely understand her parents concern. however once someone takes the shahada they are Muslim no matter what. There are so many born muslims that follow the way of the kufur so we have no right to make assumptions about muslim converts. If we continue to be so closed minded about marrying our children to muslim converts or w/in different muslim cultures we will nvr expand our ummah. It's so shameful that we continue to be so jahil in our thinking.
best of luck to your friend. May Allah guide them both to the right path.
Re: Marrying a Convert
Thank you Angel for your duahs.
Thats the first thought that came to mind also when I was thinking about her situation. What would happen it all muslims decided that they would not marry somebody who converts to Islam and only those who are born into Islam?
Dude we would be like the yahoods, who are only born into Judaism and dont accept converts, as per a university professor that I took a religion class with, correct me if im wrong.
Re: Marrying a Convert
Ask Solar Oceans 
She’s a great example right here on GS! 
There are lots of mixed marriages going on nowadays. The parents are just being their desi paranoid selves.
Re: Marrying a Convert
i agree @ desi paranoia.
im a product of a mixed marriage. I turned out great (so i think) alhamdulillah. Islam was the main thing that kept my parents together. Nothing else (cultural differences/language) matters.
Re: Marrying a Convert
So true, but their putting her on this hardcore guilt trip that her siblings are going to have to pay for her mistakes and nobody is going to marry them and blah blah blah
Re: Marrying a Convert
thats crazy...he is or is going to become muslim. thats all that matters. i cant stand when parents act that way. I mean i get that they prefer she marry a pakistani muslim....i totally understand that. but SHE wants to marry a white muslim..big deal! at least he is muslim! not some kafir. Sometimes i think parents would rather have their kids marry a drug dealing...alcohol drinking paki boy/girl rather then marry a non-paki muslim just to prevent so-called "badnaami". Is it just me or does that sound really retarded?
Re: Marrying a Convert
Just to annoy her, I was sayin to ammi that I"d love to marry a white Muslim convert.. she was ready to slap me and I kept prodding her why why why why and she said coz Pakistanis make the best Muslims 
Sadz, hmm.. tht is a point to consider.. they’ll end up being xtra hard on her siblings, or they mighte nd up being more lenient ? My brother gfought for his independence.. n im glad he’s happy, but my parents were hurt very much in the process.. and im the only other sibling, so I have to work xtra hard not to disappoint them.. but lately I feel it bubbling upinside of me, I hope i dont xplode 
Angeleyez, what are you a mix of ?
Re: Marrying a Convert
Sadz, i would encourage you to be there for your friend (which you're obviously already doing). I think everyone already knows my stance on such marriages seeing as how I did marry a convert and Alhamdulilah, everything's been great.
And you know what, my parents were as conservative as they come. My paretns said "we're going to disown you, never talk to you again, you''ve shamed us, you're setting a bad example for everyone"
Three years later and Alhamdulilah, we all get along great. We do argue at times but that's just how it'd be no matter who i married. The point is, we've somehow managed to become a family. And no, it's not a cakewalk but I do believe that if they love each other and they pray and trust in God, InshaAllah, all will work out.
Re: Marrying a Convert
Ok just curious but what if you or anybody else here brought home a guy which was not the same sect as yourself? Such as a sunni, ismaili...and he says he would convert I guess you can call it?
Re: Marrying a Convert
Solar thanks for the advice!
Her parents told her they wont even show up to her wedding and I mean I dont know what you went through but I dont think id be able to have a wedding without my parents being present their you know?
Re: Marrying a Convert
- How many (good) muslims who have the knowledge, dont talk to the opposite sex? I can point to a hundreds on this site including myself.
So we are expecting this guy who hasnt even accepted Islam yet to follow every detail of Islam and yet we muslims dont? WOW!
Hasn't he already said that he wants to accept Islam? If he has decided that it's what he wants, what else is he waiting for?
I know quite a few who generally don't talk to the opposite gender. Anyhow, in my post I meant having a relationship more than simply talking now and then. I would be skeptical about a daughter marrying even such a Muslim, let alone a non-Muslim who has decided that he wants to accept Islam but hasn't yet.
Once again, I'm not here to judge the sincerity of his intentions. I'm just saying that from what I've read and understood there are a couple of things I would be concerned about. From the limited view of the situation that I have from reading this thread, I'd say they (her parents) are right.
All the converts I know are serious about being Muslim. They will follow the deen more strictly than many born Muslims do. That's why his ongoing relationship with this girl would make me uneasy if I were in the parents' place.
Re: Marrying a Convert
Holly what big dis-kushi-yon going on!
Who ever wants to marry convert :k: All for it! Just make sure they don’t convert for themselves for the marriage, but for themselves. Otherwise they’ll be easy on switching the switch on, of…like the flipflop switch in digital chips stuff
Okay so just before someone is about to make an independant decision be ready to face all consequences on ur own 100% if one can do that! Go for it! :k:
Re: Marrying a Convert
acha yaar hum kiya karaiN ab? na humne shadi mae shareek hona hae na munnay ke aqeeqay mae, humari bala sae.
Yup I am grumpy.
Re: Marrying a Convert
Tho yahan buk buk kyoun kerne aaye ho?
Re: Marrying a Convert
oho, itna ghussa? jain thanda paani piyain.
Re: Marrying a Convert
I can see the practicality of such a decision. If the boy has lost all his fairness due to playing cricket out in the sun, and parents want to bring back the fair skin back in the gene pool, who better than a white daughter in law?
Waisay bhi, apnay gene pool key kali kalooti ki woh ba'at nahi hai, you always wonder if she's had a past, no? :D