Marrying a Convert

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Marrying a Convert

off topic… but isnt it funny how some desis are always trying to become more “white” yet they go all funny duddy when someone wants to marry one…:hmmm:

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Re: Marrying a Convert

[FONT=Times New Roman]Call it a parents 6th sense that they did not approve the guy.
[FONT=Times New Roman]According to a Supreme Court ruling in Pakistan; parents (wali) agreeing to a marriage is advisory not compulsory; as an adult it’s girl decision who she wants to marry. (She can marry a convert without taking in to consideration parental advice)
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23

Re: Marrying a Convert

Funny with all the prejudice u guys have abt white folks. Why are u guys worried abt the guys "old lifestyle"? Who said he was sum drugaddict or criminal or sumthing like that in his "past life"?

Being a muslim dosnt automatically mean that ur a good person..im assuming that u guys atleast know this? Maybe he's the one whos helping the girl in becoming a good and honest person? :)

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Re: Marrying a Convert

Sadz, if he has done his research about Islam and if he wants to convert, why hasnt he converted yet? or is he just gonna convert cuz he want to get married to a Muslim gal?

If he is just converting for the gal then its doing the right thing for the wrong reason, if he really do belive in Islam then he should have been converted already and no matter if he is gonna marry this gal or not he should have been a Muslim already.

25

Re: Marrying a Convert

My cousin married a French man because he converted...No biggie...

26

Re: Marrying a Convert

Well he was always interested in converting and I cant tell you why he did not convert before since I dont know him personally and I dont know what is in his heart.
Again like I said sure it was wrong for her to see this guy for 4 years, however her parents had knowledge of this guy I think a couple months after she met him and they didnt think anything because apparently they just thought he was some gora wanting to convert, little did they know he was also interested in their daughter...hehehe wether they dated as in sleeping around or whatever else I dont know the details of that.

I just dont know why he is being called kafir. Just curious but what EXACTLY d

27

Re: Marrying a Convert

oops let me continue hehe
what EXACTLY does kafir mean? I dont know myself even though I hear the word all the time.
I think her parents are paranoid about other ppl because thats all they keep telling her about all the HAWWWWS and HAIIIIISSSS meanwhile in her own family their are members which are married to white women and men who havent converted and I guess im not one to judge but are farrrrr from musilm judging by their actions.

I personally dont think she is dragging her parents to hell and from what I have heard I dont question this guys intentions but then again #$*% happens muslims, non-muslim, kafir, convert whatever!!

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Re: Marrying a Convert

I'm not trying to judge anyone, but even if he says he wants to convert, there are a few things I would be concerned with if I were in the girl's parents place:

  1. if he says he's willing to accept Islam, why hasn't he done so already? There are a lot of people who do it just for the sake of marriage.
  2. if he appreciates and agrees with the teachings of Islam, why is he still seeing this girl?

Anyhow, I'd say the best way to resolve this is through istikhaara. You can't go wrong with that.

29

Re: Marrying a Convert

I personally think its normal for them to be paranoid BUT they need to see how much ajar they will get for accepting this guy. A converted muslim is like a new born baby with no bad deeds. I bet not even their own daughter has a clean slate.

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Re: Marrying a Convert

  1. Because you have to do it properly and its a HUGE change, you odnt just one day wake up and go "hey! i am gonna go muslim today". It shoudl be done properly, with the right guidence. Maybe he wants to LEARN more? Oh but how would we ignorant jahil muslims know what it is to actually learn about Islam.

  2. How many (good) muslims who have the knowledge, dont talk to the opposite sex? I can point to a hundreds on this site including myself.

So we are expecting this guy who hasnt even accepted Islam yet to follow every detail of Islam and yet we muslims dont? WOW!

31

Re: Marrying a Convert

converting to Islam is a great thing No doubt. But should one do it because they have to marry another person? is it right? is it fair to them?

See if someone wants to convert they would do it, start reading books go to masjids and ask other islamic leaders for hidayat etc. But to convert because you want to marry a Muslim. Is it fair to them?

Wont it be wrong if he goes behind everyone's back and go back to his own religion?

32

Re: Marrying a Convert

LOL man...u guys are living in fantasy land. What if it was a muslim born guy wanting to marry her but who didnt know squat abt Islam and werent interested in knowing anything. Do u think her parents wud have reacted the same way? :p From what we have been told the problem is not a religious problem rather a cultural problem. Parents ki besti hojaye gi..logon ko kya moun dekhayn ge waghaira. Oh well.. hope they all live happy with or without eachother :)

33

Re: Marrying a Convert

Yeah you are right about that, but what if he has done all of the research and so on gone to the masjids but her issue is she wants him to convert in front of her family so their are no questions after. I dont know if that makes it wrong or right, but one SHOULD convert for the right reasons rather then for marriage.

34

Re: Marrying a Convert

just a few more points

these MAY have nothing to do ith the case of your friend… but just something to consider

If this man is converting for himself and has a true belief and faith in Islam, in my experience, new converts are assiduous and concscientous … and dont take their new faith lightly

would she wish to spend her life with an extremely pious man?

would it mean giving up some of her freedoms?

if he’s converting just to marry her…thats another issue

and just for NIA-Khan

dont you think its terrible that if teh situation was reversed …pak boy marrying a white women, there would be less of a parental issue:devil:

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Re: Marrying a Convert

**

LOL!!! So true!!!

We set such a high bar for those want to accept Islam yet for ourselves we have a zillion excpetions. :confused:

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Re: Marrying a Convert

ANYONE can become a non-muslim, even muslims do. So because we assume that since this guy is converting because he wants to marry this girl he will probably go back to his religion and we are going to prevent a person from converting to Islam. Wow.

I cant remember the exact hadith right now, but the prophet said that as long as a person says they are muslim, we should accept them, we will never know whats in a persons heart, so why bother?

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Re: Marrying a Convert

abey yar its for both MEN AND WOMEN :smack:

parental issues are ALWAYS. even when you have a punjabi girl or gujrati guy. Or if you have a lahori guy and karachi girl. - sadly i have heard numerous stories where families arent willing to accept someone outside their circle.

zaat waat and all that BS.

38

Re: Marrying a Convert

Noooo when push comes to shove parenst find it easier to accept a white daughter in law

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Re: Marrying a Convert

Yes I have heard hadiths regarding that too but I cant remember which one exactly, I think it was during a battle and a man to prevent himself from getting killed said he was muslim but was killed anywayz and the person who killed him was told that it was wrong... Dont jump all over me now about validity and correctness beause like I said I dont know exactly word for word what the hadith is but thats the jist of it.

It is just surprising how quickly people judge without looking at themselves and how high they set their expectations for others yet can get away with murder and dont remember Islam then.

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Re: Marrying a Convert

OOPS sorry hit the wrong key! hehe