Married men, and porn

Lifestyle Relationships
81

Re: Married men, and porn

ok let me say one thing men who watch porn movies does not take them seriously......its for cheap entertainment

its not like the way women watch drama serials..............:D

82

Re: Married men, and porn

Statistics achieved from one local study cannot be used in broader way Muzna. Maybe that is the issue with Canadian Muslims only. Cant blame them, its so cold there and tracing porn probably is the cheapest way (no pun intended) to keep yourself warm :D

83

Re: Married men, and porn

very intelligent answer.
thanks.

84

Re: Married men, and porn

TLK bhai, I didn't think it was a common thing, but sadly I have come across this among many men who are involved in this and their wives are seriously disturbed.

I do agree with McPendo, that these men have odd (to say the least) expectations from their wives in the bedroom.

And while growing up in a Muslim country, I saw a lot of teenage boys indulging in get togethers while watching porn on VHS. This is a country where masajid were in every area, kids were taken to regular Quran classes, islamic studies were a part of the curriculum. No alcohol, no strip clubs and no open mixing of boys and girls in school (dating). Most parents were not even aware of what was going on behind closed doors.

Being a mother of a child, I see this as a problem that I would like to address in our community (not desi but muslim) and be prepared for it if I ever come across it either in my kid or his/her friends.

And I can't emphasize this enough, I don't think ALL RELIGIOUS men indulge in this but some do and I would just like to understand why.

85

Re: Married men, and porn

i get the feeling this is more an insecurity issue with women, than men wanting any weird porn-inspired sex acts. they'd have wanted whatever they wanted even if they werent porn watchers or whatever.

the real issue with porn though is desensitization towards crimes directed at women, sexual harassment etc.

86

Re: Married men, and porn

In fact men who watch porn often suffer from low self esteem. Sorry to be explicit but no normal human male has the same stamina and physical measurements that they show in those movies, and that puts a habitual watcher into an inferiority complex.

So saying that a watcher now expect the same from his wife is not true. In fact if I may say, a watcher would be grateful to his wife that she seems satisfied in spite of his short (both in time and measurement) capabilities, cause porn videos imply that only way you can satisfy a woman is that if you go on and on for like an energizer bunny and should be well gifted.

was that too explicit? I apologize and mods can remove my post if they want to.

87

Re: Married men, and porn

My only Muslim friends are the girls on GS. Edit: Not true - I know a few other girls. Just remembered another friend of mine ... married for 8 years and divorced. Her husband was a porn freak - also had a lot of fake profiles up on the dating sites so getting it on elsewhere. He's remarried ... and he's still on the dating sites meeting other girls. Sad, sad stuff.

I know one other couple that divorced soon after their marriage. I also attended their wedding.

The groom led a "religious" life but had expectations on his wedding night that his wife was not able to fulfill. I can't say with certainty that he watched porn, but he expected her to be a pornstar and criticized her non-stop about her body and her "performance" on their wedding night. It's pretty sad actually.

I know another guy who wanted to continue his single life by chatting with girls online, pretending to be single, well into a year after the marriage. So not only was he watching porn, but he was also on dating sites. Wife caught him. He said he would stop. Wife caught him again. Again, he said he would stop. He started meeting the girls. Couple divorced.

I know at least 3 other married men in the GTA who pretend they are single and spend a lot of time chasing girls online ... but that's a whole other topic.

Internet addiction .... you even see it here on GS. People who are unable to get off the internet and their marriage suffers. They are addicted.

I know one individual who IS STILL obsessed with Matsui and the old gang. He follows them around on different sites just to fight with them. This person was married but spent his nights on chat sites.

Internet addiction doesn't have to be porn only you know .... and yes, all of the above applies to women as well.

88

Re: Married men, and porn

How many issues are there that we muslims openly talk about ? We are a nation (not desi, MUSLIM) that likes to sweep all our problems under the rug. So what makes you think that families/couples are going to talk about such an embarassing problem.

We don't talk about abuse, physical, emotional or mental, we don't talk about incest (although we know it is rampant in our muslim society), we don't talk about control issues, we don't talk about financial issues so how can we ever really get some real statistics on this topic.

There are so many issues that I go through but I don't have a spiritual place to turn to because I am afraid that the shaikh I will go to will judge me or the shaikhs I have approached in my life have all brushed me away.

So do we muslims have a venue to speak up, learn, share and maybe even gather valid statistics from ?

89

Re: Married men, and porn

@TLK bhai how do you know so much about porn movies..............:D

90

Re: Married men, and porn

can we count this as porn…:smiley:

@TLK you seems like expert on this topic so please answer me…:smiley:

please watch from 1.02

91

Re: Married men, and porn

apparently its not okay to discuss such taboo subjects here either automne for fear of offending the nazuk, nazuk sense of the male population on GS.

:rolleyes:

92

Re: Married men, and porn

perhaps for some its no-harm, no-foul way to entertain?

We are putting too much stress on segregation of "Muslim Men" and/or "Desi Men". Porn (movies, internet etc) is one of the biggest business in the west where males have all sort of "freedom" and they are non-segregated. I remember reading in Forbes magazine (in early 2000s) that yearly business then was around 14/15 billion $. Its anyone's guess how much is it now.

93

Re: Married men, and porn

it would appear so. they seem to be rationalizing it by saying that other ppl do worse gunah. the rest acting like giggly teenagers

94

Re: Married men, and porn

It is?!

95

Re: Married men, and porn

deleted

96

Re: Married men, and porn

YES BBCue it is. I lived in a muslim country (not PAkistan) and incest was extremely rampant but no support system to help the victims. And when the govt tried to set up a support system the community general was all up in arms.
Brush it under the rug.

97

Re: Married men, and porn

TLK, I just want to say that your generation and my generation is NOTHING like the current generation. I have seen girls openly give gaaliyan to their future in-laws on Twitter and all their friends chug along and giggle. Forget gheebat, the women in your age group would never do that. The girls in my age group wouldn't do that .... but the generation after us are on a whole other level when it comes to the internet.

98

Re: Married men, and porn

What country was that?

99

Re: Married men, and porn

what do you expect from a generation that believes it's okay to refer to your BFF with slurs?

100

Re: Married men, and porn

every generation says such stuff about their next generation. :rolleyes:

just because the MIL-DIL battles now take on an additional internet dimension doesn’t mean previous generations were all obedient footmassaging DILs and warmhearted MILs.