Re: Marriage Stories
I had posted this in a similar thread a few months ago, but here’s a more detailed account of our shaadi ki kahani:hypo:
Met him for the first time at a Vital Signs concert (i know, old school, right!!!) freshman year of college, he is/was the strong, silent type, so didn’t really pay much attention to him because I was crushing on his best friend (;)), the situation with his friend didn’t end up going so well, his parents shot down any hope of a rishta because they were Pathan, and my family Hyderabadi, much drama ensued, khair…I didn’t see him (future hubby) again until a year later at a Garbaa/Raas…asked him to dance/play dandia with me, he said no…(rejection!!)…bumped into him again another couple of years later in a parking lot of a grocery store, turned out we were both attending the wedding of a mutual friend that week, spent alot of time chatting at the various functions of the wedding…few months later, ran into him again at a cricket match (turned out he was playing on the league team as my uncle!)…we exchanged updated phone numbers, and started hanging around with mutal friends again. One night, he “accidently” (or so he says!) called my home number at an insane time, like 2:00 am or something…Mom saw on the caller id and freaked out…i got the lecture of a lifetime..she wasn’t satisfied with the “we’re just friends” bit, even though at the time I thought we were, so she calls him over to interrogate him. He showed up at our house and when asked what he intentions were, replied “i want to marry your daughter”..after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I got a little upset that he had never really approached me directly first to see if I felt the same. So mom started the investigation, got my uncle’s opinion and stamp of approval, and then asked him to get his family involved. That’s where things got a little sticky. His family is very different from ours, a totally different caste/socio economic demographic. Anyhoo, we persevered, got past all the chick chick and tied the knot…just celebrated out 13th wedding anniversary in November, mashallah!
I must say that, at the time, the best advice I ever recieved from my ammi (who is deceased :() was this: “dheko, yay log jaisain hain, waise hi rahainge. ye mat samajnha kay tumhare liye koi badlayga, ya tumhain samajnai ko kyoi koshish karega. Tumhain badalna hoga unkay liye. Inka rahain sahain humsay kaafi alag hai, or agar tumahain lagta hai ke tum nahin adjust karpaogi, tho phir ye rishta khatam kardo. Agar shaadi karni hai, tho phir apne aap ko itna masboot kardo, ke kisi ki baat tumpay assar hi na karay. 6 months baad mujse mat aakay kehna ke tumhari saas nai tumhe toka hai ya feelings hurt kiye hain…”
I wish I could post that advice to every Life1 in-laws thread! Thanks for the sage advice & awesome upbringing Ammi, love you & miss you 
)