Re: Marriage of my choice
Sara the people who you are calling gross just may be one of the few that are dearest to Allah (swt) so be careful what you say sometimes. I know you don't mean it to demean other's lifestyles but it can be looked upon as scornful behavior on your part, something that we as Muslims should do our best to avoid.
Re: Marriage of my choice
Yeah marrying someone young enough to be your granddaughter doesnt scream noble or religious to me. Anyway now that Ive concludd ur not a troll and full of sh*t, please do update us and let us know what happens :D
Re: Marriage of my choice
**I know what you mean but that girl was pretty. Her parents got her married to my grandpa's brother because he was rich, you know how some typical Pakistani brains work.
Re: Marriage of my choice
Anyways, your_angel do tell us what happens/keep us updated...I am with you.
Re: Marriage of my choice
paa jee age main itna farak bi hona chaiye k biwi ki age apni beti jaisi na ho.....lol its disghusting... 1 to 10 years of age diffirence isn,t that much of issue though...
Re: Marriage of my choice
ok, yeah I will. Its just a very hard situation they never met her, just saw a picture of her, said shes beautiful, and thats all. They don't even want to go and meet with her family. They just said yeh rishta kabhi nai ho sakta, baat khatam. Anyways, I am feeling quite depressed right now, not to mention tired sitting here so long. I think I'm going to go and call her. I will keep you all updated, and please keep me in your prayers :) Good night and Allah Hafiz. Nice "meeting" with you all.
Re: Marriage of my choice
i think ur parents have a good point
Re: Marriage of my choice
lolz sahih gal, laikin hotah hain bhai... :)
Re: Marriage of my choice
all i can say is us larki ki zindagi barbaad mat karna lol ...u both know eachother for years (not like some ppl who change their bf/gf every week in search for their soulmate) it would be inhuman of u to let her down after she did spend so much of her precious time with u:o ...
Re: Marriage of my choice
WAT THE ???
Poor girl
Re: Marriage of my choice
**your angel **I suggest you do Istikhara. Only Allah (swt) knows what is best for you, what better way than to consult our Rabb in this matter.
If you need to know how to do an Istikhara do ask, I will be more than willing to provide you with the info.
salam
Re: Marriage of my choice
If you need to know how to do an Istikhara do ask, I will be more than willing to provide you with the info.
salam
Excellent advice Masha'ALLAH, i agree 100% :)
Re: Marriage of my choice
Re: Marriage of my choice
If you can provide for a (Family)...well ...heck ...go for it then kiddo.....run run free......:D....Go live your Life Guys...YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...dont be coaxed into marrying someone when you really dont want to....its not FAIR to both eh 3 of you....The (would be bride too)
Re: Marriage of my choice
Iftikhaar bhai, I would recommend that you grow a pair and tell your parents what you are going to do. Don't be a little baby, if you're old enough to love a woman, be old enough to tell you mummy and daddy that you're gonna marry her. What's next, your parents will be telling you how to live your life, how to run your house hold, how to raise your kids, how to treat your wife, gimme a break.
Secondly, your parents have no business assuming your woman will cheat on you, nobody knows the future but the Almighty. When I got married, my parents were SO against it because I married a white American. But at that time, i had the pair to tell them that I was going to do what I wanted and they could deal with it. Today, my white American wife is a better Muslim than I ever was. My parents ADORE her and we've been married for 7 blissful years.
So never say never. Good luck.
Re: Marriage of my choice
I totally agree with aahmed. At the time you think its the end of the world and life seems so impossible but I would definately advise that if your love is true you will go ahead with regardless of what happens with your family. You need to be resposible and take resposibility now. If you havn’t got the nerve or are not strong enough then you will never be able to cope with the trials and tribulations that marriage itself brings with it. Once you have taken this step ( and it will be one of the hardest in your life ) then the rest will be easy. I would advise you to pray your Nikah if you are 110% sure that she is the one. This way you are not committing any sin as we all know we have to move within the bouderies of Islam. After this the rest shall follow but you will be empowered with heaps of strength as she will be your lawful biwwi by then. It’s up to you. You just need to be strong not just for yourself but also for the one that you claim to love.
Good luck!!
Re: Marriage of my choice
I agree with Ahmed. Your old enough to make decisions for yourself. Your parents are not going to be the one married to your cousin, you are. So ultimately by marrying your cousin you would be destoying three lives; yours, your gf's and your cosuins.
Did your father marry your mum (his second wife) out of choice?
Re: Marriage of my choice
^ I agree with aahmed. My husband had the cajones to stand up to his parents and marry me, and they eventually came around (mostly).
Parents don't always know what is best for their children, sometimes they are blinded by culture, family pressue, and greed.
That said - if you can't stand up to them, and plan to live with them from the beginning of your marriage, do the girl a favor and tell her that you are a coward who can't speak up to your parents, and then get out of her life. Don't call, don't meet, don't e-mail her, just let her move on with her life.
Marry your cousin, treat her well, and pretend that you love her, even if you don't, and never mention this incident to her. If you decide to shortchange her by marrying her when you love someone else, at least have the decency not to let her know that she is second best.
Re: Marriage of my choice
sweetpip-- no my dad had two arranged marriages, that too within his own family. Those that are telling me to "grow a pair" read earlier that I mentioned that i've been constantly fighting with them the past 2 years about this and therefore, they left me alone here and went to Pakistan and arranged my marriage (which I now know was arranged for me when I was a baby....)
--Anyway to update you on teh situation, I have asked them to let me marry her PLUS I'll marry the girl of their choice, but it seems they want to do the whole two wives thing as this is a tradition in our family, but the catch is they both have to be someone from our caste and to their liking, and they're pretty certain of who they want the second girl to be. I'm just waiting for the answer from the scholar that CrescentWarrior referred me to. I feel terrible, this is giving me a splitting headache, considering my girlfriend is crying her eyes out, cursing me for not "manning up" for she doesnt understand my situation, and breaking to pieces... I can't figure out this whole parents vs. love thing, as I never expected it to turn into this whole tamasha.
Re: Marriage of my choice
Two marriages. Why not break the tradition and move on.