Re: Marriage falling apart :(
I think you need to get this out of your head that you won't be able to love someone more than him. Time doesn't stay the same forever, ups and downs are part of life. You can't expect things to be the same because the next second is unpredictable in reality. I'm glad you pray 5times a day since I was oblivious to it. I wouldn't suggest you to take a divorce from your husband but he has taken you for granted. Can you live separately for couple of months so both of you can absorb information and figure out eachother's strengths and weaknesses? Figure out where you were wrong and where he was wrong... Distance makes the heart to miss that special someone. In this phase, you will find out for sure if your husband wants to make it work. You need this break before you turn into a physco path... Crying shows an attribute of weak character. Please understand that Allah has already given you so much, focus on that. I would suggest you to live your life in harmony and set goals for yourself. You have suffered enough because your husband can't realize your sacrifices. Don't waste your life in misery but keep Allah close to yourself. Think logically, don't fall for your emotional garbage. You don't know what good things Allah have stored for you in future but taking an action is necessary. Stop hurting yourself. Azmaish SE guzar chuki ho ap... Zindagi ko azaab mat banao.
We did live separate for 3 months recently, from Feb to May, while I was in Canada for my cousin's wedding preps. We missed each other a lot, talked everyday, had one fight that due to something his parents had said to someone about me. After the fight, the same day, he came to visit me in Canada (we don't live near Canada) for half a day coz he missed me. This was the first time I was away from him. He told me he'll never let me go again for this long, coz he missed me so much. I donno if it was "missing me" part or the fact he had to do his laundry and ironing himself, lol. He was at his parents house all this time.
So yeah, after 3 months, the first week I got back was all ok and lovey-dovey and he talked about how everything will be ok, we should have kids, then I can go to school, he promised again, till then I can start studying for GRE, find an online program and go part-time since he's supporting his parents, etc. I was fine with all the suggestions.....until day 7! Again, the whole my mom/dad said this...blah blah blah...and I argued over what his family does to me, all the hatred....blah blah blah....and then again started the whole cycle.
I must admit though, that 80% of the time, if there's fight about his family, I usually start it, but he doesn't understand that I start it because these things are being done to me, shown to me, I'm being degraded everyday....so of course I'll start to discuss it with my husband. My only problem is that when I start discussing I get heated up, which heats him up even more.
The fights over our own personal disagreements usually start as small arguments here and there, and eventually end up in me bringing up his family's mental torture, so it gets even more heated. The fact that every single penny that is spent on his parents (btw his dad took early retirement at the age of 50) from his phone bill/gas/car to the house mortgage is spent by my husband, no other brothers (there's two more), and I always get disrespect from my MIL and get to hear indirect taunts like "our son is supposed to take care of us first, not his wife", and she says all this unnecessarily, like just randomly blurts it out walking around the house! I feel like pulling my hair out, like seriously, just sipping over her chai, she'll say this when there's no mention of any topic even closely related to this! Although he goes there everyday (it's just two houses down), she'll randomly call him on a weekend when he is trying to catch some sleep and tell him to come early, if he says HIMSELF that no Ammi I'll come later I'm sleeping right now, she'll say "tumhari biwi se zyada mera haqq hai tum per", I mean really, did I tie him with a rope? For Allah's sake, the guy is sleeping coz he's tired!.... He knows it's wrong, he admits it, but just says they're elders so don't talk back, although I've never in my life talked back to any of them!
I really don't know where I am. Sometimes I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that my husband and I disagree and his narrow-mindedness on some things or the fact that I myself got married and threw myself in a family of retards!
