@ sara - I just got one liner for you --- stop acting like O I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child....
It is simply out of etiquettes so say things like** ' just because it doesn't happen to you or in YOUR family doesn't mean more than half hte population in Pakistan still doesn't treat their women or think like this ' **
Just keep the discussion , general ! Please !
I don't think you got what I said, I was agreeing with your post.
Just because what you said may not happen in most families in the west does NOT mean that the thinking is dead in Pakistan..dont know hwo to be more clearer..
I don't think you got what I said, I was agreeing with your post.
Just because what you said may not happen in most families in the west does NOT mean that the thinking is dead in Pakistan..dont know hwo to be more clearer..
My bad - I am not good at Interpretations ... Apologies ! let me edit that !
I think our desi men are still very much stuck in the age-old Indian world where "larki parayi hoti hai" and "larki ka asli ghar uska susraal hota hai"
B.S. Total B.S.
I** think Pakistanis have huge identity issues...they cant seem to figure what they are anymore...Pakistani, Muslim, Hindu or Indian. And I thought ABCDs had it bad**.
No we don't and we aren't the only ones with cultural backwardness. We are the people of subcontinent, no need to bash Indians or Hindus for that. If you think women in Arab cultures have it all easy and rosy, then I don't know what to say.
Sometimes I wonder if the whole idea of Westernisation has really messed up people's head that they retort to self hate, what they don't realize is that Western cultural practices were as 'backward' and sexist as Asians' not so many decades ago. We're still a developing country and it'll take us time to keep up with the values all so wonderful West. Pakistanis can't become Americans overnight.
hey blessed ur not even married or engaged, so its pretty normal to not have those special or love feelings for someone, u don't even know properly and haven't spent much time. I think love does exist, it's just matter of time u spent together and then u realise love for that person when he is away from u and then your realationship builds everyday.
well i know my to be spouse very well (we arenot related but i know). i cant say anything about the future but as i said before that as far as i know myself there wont be any love from my side (a bit of care may follow).....even if at this stage this rishta breaks i'll be happy-i wont care. tu nahi tou koi aur sahi, koi aur nahi tou koi aur sahi.
love doesn't exist, it is the caring and respect that matter more. like i've said b4 the concept of love is something bollywood and hollywood have made up so they can sell their movies.
if the wife cares and respects you, you would still kick her out?
Love does exist, you can respect and care for elders and needy but you can't love them or have the same expectations from them that you would with your better half/spouse. When you love someone you automatically wish to do things for them..
well i know my to be spouse very well (we arenot related but i know). i cant say anything about the future but as i said before that as far as i know myself there wont be any love from my side (a bit of care may follow).....even if at this stage this rishta breaks i'll be happy-i wont care. tu nahi tou koi aur sahi, koi aur nahi tou koi aur sahi.
I am not sure why you are marrying poor man if you have no interest in him.
love doesn't exist, it is the caring and respect that matter more.** like i've said b4 the concept of love is something bollywood and hollywood have made up so they can sell their movies. **
if the wife cares and respects you, you would still kick her out?
You've said this a few times in the past but if it was a media 'creation' surely ppl would not have fallen in love hundreds or even a thousand years ago and yet they did.. I know you're not a Muslim but even Islam acknowledges that love does exist ('there is no better thing for two people in love than to marry') even tho it obviously strongly discourages acting on those feelings in a physical/sexual way before marriage..
Sometimes I wonder if this 'love doesn't exist' thing in our culture is designed to make ppl believe that arranged marriages are the only way and we should just marry whoever our parents put in front of us and be grateful for it..
Just as people may not know exactly what love is, they may actually be loving the person and not know about it.
Let me attempt in GS male style:
Sammich made without love = Pick 2 day old stale bread, slap-on a butter subsitute (not even real butter) and some half-heartedly cut-cup slices of cucumber with the skin on at some places and serve.
Sammich made with love = Walk to buy fresh, organic bread/eggs/roast beef/tomatoes/lettuce/cheese. Take 4 slices of bread, spread a generous amount of butter and layer it with roast beef, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce. Make the second layer and toast it till perfection... run up to him, bat your eyelashes and ask him what he would like it with homestyle fries, fries, waffles fries or crisps. Assemble the platter with a tall glass of his favorite beverage and walk up to him while he watches his favorite sport (not just any walk but the Tyra Banks catwalk) and set the tray infront of him.
I am not sure why you are marrying poor man if you have no interest in him.
well there are several reasons....but basically i am not interested in getting married lekin amma abba kehte hain ke baitay shaadi tou karni hi hai. plus its not that i am going to make my spouse aware of my feelings so the life will run smoothly.
Sammich made without love = Pick 2 day old stale bread, slap-on a butter subsitute (not even real butter) and some half-heartedly cut-cup slices of cucumber with the skin on at some places and serve.
Sammich made with love = Walk to buy fresh, organic bread/eggs/roast beef/tomatoes/lettuce/cheese. Take 4 slices of bread, spread a generous amount of butter and layer it with roast beef, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce. Make the second layer and toast it till perfection... run up to him, bat your eyelashes and ask him what he would like it with homestyle fries, fries, waffles fries or crisps. Assemble the platter with a tall glass of his favorite beverage and walk up to him while he watches his favorite sport (not just any walk but the Tyra Banks catwalk) and set the tray infront of him.
the definition of love is varies widely. For some people it might be the all consuming type, but for others it could be a mutual respect and need for companionship. In blessed's case she's not even married yet so it makes sense for her not to love him yet. The love will/might come through sharing a life together and it may never be a romantic love.
On the other hand blessed you need to be a little bit open to the concept of loving (whatever your definiton of love is) your future spouse. I get it you didn't really want to get married, you're doing it to make your parents happy, but for YOU to be happy you are going to have to invest some emotion into the relationship. At the least you would need to love him like you would love a friend. Even if you don't say these things to your future spouse your apathetic behaviour to him could be very obvious to him and might result in some issues so be wary. Unless he's very much like you and also feels that as long as you get along then he will be happy.
On the other hand blessed you need to be a little bit open to the concept of loving (whatever your definiton of love is) your future spouse. I get it you didn't really want to get married, you're doing it to make your parents happy, but for YOU to be happy you are going to have to invest some emotion into the relationship. At the least you would need to love him like you would love a friend. Even if you don't say these things to your future spouse your apathetic behaviour to him could be very obvious to him and might result in some issues so be wary. Unless he's very much like you and also feels that as long as you get along then he will be happy.
My definition of love is nothing as far as my spouse is concerned. i am not bothered about my happiness..for me only my parents happiness matters. and as i said before i am not going to make my spouse aware of my feelings through my actions or words in any way. (mujhe situation ke mutabiq apne aap ko dhaalna ata hai) :)
My definition of love is nothing as far as my spouse is concerned. i am not bothered about my happiness..for me only my parents happiness matters. and as i said before i am not going to make my spouse aware of my feelings through my actions or words in any way. (mujhe situation ke mutabiq apne aap ko dhaalna ata hai) :)
