Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

[anya]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

You can give a zillion reasons to prove what you are doing is ok, but had that been the case, you would have told your parents about the guy a long time ago.

There’s no best way to let your parents know as the news itself would be a big shock for them, no matter how you say it

@farimasait

Are we still discussing Zina here?
He’s monotheist, ergo.. no Zina involved.. that’s what I think…

doesn’t matter what you think, it won’t make the wrong thing right

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

@farimasait

Are we still discussing Zina here?
He’s monotheist, ergo.. no Zina involved.. that’s what I think…

@blackforest_360

Sure, but only if he were the female and you the male in the relationship. Marrying a monotheist outside of islam only applies to muslim males, not females. Methinks the only way your marriage would be “valid” (from the islamic viewpoint) would be for him to convert to islam and since that will most likely not happen just accept it as invalid (from the islamic perspective). Embrace whatever ideas you upheld but don’t trick yourself into righting a wrong.

i think blacky answered your post very well

I just have a few things to say to you

1. first off even if he is monotheistic “islamically” marriage to him is forbidden to you unless both of you somehow switched genders

2. no one here is truly being judgmental, but we are trying to tell u what you may not know that the qur’an tells us:

• when ppl here are telling u ur marriage would be invalid here’s what they mean:
• you may be able to get a civil marriage license but no maulvi will perform ur nikkah ceremony as a nikkah ceremony between a muslim girl and a nonmuslim guy (even if he is from a monotheistic religion) cannot be performed and is not considered “jayaz”

3. i agree with ice soul in that just because u are directly disobeying “a particular” declaration in the qur’an doesnt mean u are denouncing ur religion, but no matter which way you spin it you are being disobedient and as such if you follow through with this and considering that islamically ur marriage will not be recognized you will essentially be committing zinna for the rest of ur life…this is not something u can really ask forgiveness for because you will continuously and knowingly be committing one of the major sins in islam…so lets say u ask for forgiveness but the next day u will be repeating the sin anyways … being that we have benevolent god he may forgive u anyways…unfortunately thats something that none of us can guarantee you

4. your parents will have a hard time accepting this…even i believe your mother

5. i dunno about you but personally even if i became selfish and decided chuck it i dont give a damn i wanna be happy during my life time and marry this guy that i love …i would be very very concerned about my children… and not because i will be teaching them both religions but because despite raising them in technically a 2-religion environment (mind you this can get confusing for a child) I would want them to marry into muslim families otherwise somewhere down the line when im dead and gone or maybe even in my lifetime one of my generations could potentially end up being far away from islam and it would be all my fault …ill be answerable to god for that

6. we are all just letting you know whats in store for you…rest it is definitely your decision and your life…you do what you see fit but please make an educated decision and not one just based on emotion…

I wish you all the good luck, but call me narrow minded but im saying this to you as if you were my daughter or sister… in good conscience i can neither advise you to go through with this nor tell you how you might proceed with this such that you dont face opposition from your parents

I will however advise you to consider everything that has been said to you in this thread, read up what the qur’an says with respect to a muslim woman marrying outside of her religion (be it a guy from a monotheistic religion or whatever) and make an educated decision based on what u learn…and then if you decide to go through with this make ur bf break it to his parents first and then tell ur parents ASAP

one again, i wish u good luck and pray u make a well informed and educated decision

cheers!

[farimasait]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

I can't believe everyone on this forum sees this in such black and white terms...
How can anyone make an unemotional decision about marriage? It is implicitly an amotional thing.
Has everyone forgotten what it is to be in love??

[S02]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Huh? Who says to make an unemotional decision? Who says not to be in love?

But you have let yourself fall in love with someone who you know will not be accepted by your parent (at least not easily accepted). And that is your choice to make. People are just pointing out the consequences and repercussions of these choices.

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

I can't believe everyone on this forum sees this in such black and white terms... How can anyone make an unemotional decision about marriage? It is implicitly an amotional thing. Has everyone forgotten what it is to be in love??

i didnt say make an unemotional decision what i did say was dont make it JUST an emotional decision think things through ...by all means make an emotional decision but also an educated one ...one in which u know what is potentially in store for you thats all

please try to read our posts without getting defensive. YOu will see we are not exactly trying to change ur decision we are just trying to educate you about your decision

[IceSoul]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

The Mullah Brigade, whose attack began with STA has, I feel, proved beyond doubt that this is Islamically wrong. Now let us get back to the question:

How does the OP break the news to her parents.

BTW, I just saw your thread about the Subway and non-mehrams. If your family is so conservative, I really hope your death, whenever it happens, will be of natural causes.

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

@IceSoul

The Mullah Brigade, whose attack began with STA has, I feel, proved beyond doubt that this is Islamically wrong. Now let us get back to the question:

How does the OP break the news to her parents.

BTW, I just saw your thread about the Subway and non-mehrams. If your family is so conservative, I really hope your death, whenever it happens, will be of natural causes.

what?

[IceSoul]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

@llxxll

what?

Siwanay ko ishara hi kafi hai

[Deeba1234]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Do we 'let' ourselves fall in love?

[Marmalade]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Do we 'let' ourselves fall in love?

Yep. :) Maybe I'm not very idealistic I guess.

Anyways, it's quite clear the OP doesn't give a damn what Islam has to say and no matter how much anyone will advise her against this 'marriage', she's gonna go through with it. She doesn't seem to have much regard for her father's feelings so I'd just say she should just break the news to them and deal with the consequences. Why care how they react or if they accept this marriage when her 'love' for her fiance clearly trumps any love she might have for Allah or her parents.

[farimasait]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

@Deeba1234

Do we ‘let’ ourselves fall in love?

This!!:k:

[farimasait]

Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?

@IceSoul

BTW, I just saw your thread about the Subway and non-mehrams. If your family is so conservative, I really hope your death, whenever it happens, will be of natural causes.

No they were not, Dad suddenly brought this up the other day, and I swear, my jaw dropped open and stayed open for whole minute…!I was pretty sure no such rule ever existed and he just made it up so I wouldn’t go to work…so, I wanted to ask around here to make sure he wasn’t making it up..
I joined work a few weeks back - subway or no subway !!
As for my death…no such fears! We’re from Bombay, not a haryanvi village

[farimasait]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Mods, can we close the thread? I'll come back when I have an update...

[S02]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Do we 'let' ourselves fall in love?

Absolutely.

[S02]

Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?

Mods, can we close the thread? I'll come back when I have an update...

Sounds good.