Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
much much easier said than done! If parents esp mothers had that much of an influence people wouldn't be losing their religion so easily or going astray in religious terms
So you deny that a mother can mold her child's values?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
am not saying she doesn't play a part ..but all I know is that I have seen some mothers' hold on their kids while they are young and in school ..the moment they move into high school or at uni level...the influence gets weaker! Alot of other factors then come play to part such as friends, conformity etc.
In the OP's case the kids would already be exposed to two very different religions. When they'd be in school what would they say, are they Hindu or Muslim..and people would make fun of the kids but they would be too immature to even realise where did they go wrong.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
.the moment they move into high school or at uni level...the influence gets weaker! Alot of other factors then come play to part such as friends, conformity etc.
So the mother's influence would weaken and the father's would stay strong?
Ask yourself, why are you Muslim? Did Allah SWT ever directly address you and tell you to be Muslim? Its because of our parents that we are Muslims. And I'd bet my life on it, if your mother, the person you would be most dependent on/attached to constantly told you that Hinduism was the truth and bombarded you with Hindu religious stories, you would be a Hindu today.
None of here have had a epiphany that Islam is the one true religion. We believe it because we have it drummed into our minds.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
So the mother's influence would weaken and the father's would stay strong?
Ask yourself, why are you Muslim? Did Allah SWT ever directly address you and tell you to be Muslim? Its because of our parents that we are Muslims. And I'd bet my life on it, if your mother, the person you would be most dependent on/attached to constantly told you that Hinduism was the truth and bombarded you with Hindu religious stories, you would be a Hindu today.
None of here have had a epiphany that Islam is the one true religion. We believe it because we have it drummed into our minds.
Yes it was more of a conventional thing initially seeing what our parents were doing. I come from a fairly religious yet an open minded family Alhamdullilah..my mom was the more religious one out of my parents. Dad wasnt so regular in prayers yet he MA gave alot in charity, helped the poor relatives but like I said he wasn't very religious. So I grew up being a Muslim by name (because I was born in a Muslim family) but never felt really close to Islam. I would pray on Fridays, only prayed when mom or my grandma scolded me. But I wouldn't be too inclined towards prayers because I never saw it being staunchly followed in my household. But the whole aspect for me changed when my dad too MA became alot more religious after consecutive Umrahs and Hajj. That was his time of getting closer to Allah.
I saw the whole routine being changed at my place. At each Azaan I would see my parents both getting ready for namaz. I would see my parents discussing Islam and watching or reading Islamic books. It didn't mean that my dad became super conservative, he became MA more trusting towards us. But there was more of a religious atmosphere which kind of influenced me to become closer to religion.
But the real strengthening of my faith came from within my ownself a year or so later.The environment in which I was brought up played an important role. But it was a mutual effort from both parents that had more effect. Still it wasn't drummed into me..I was told to do something and I wasn't really forced to.
But the need to be spiritually close to Allah came from within my heart later ...the foundation was laid by both my parents, I moved ahead myself.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
But the real strengthening of my faith came from within my ownself a year or so later.The environment in which I was brought up played an important role. But it was a mutual effort from both parents that had more effect. Still it wasn't drummed into me..I was told to do something and I wasn't really forced to.
But the need to be spiritually close to Allah came from within my heart later ...the foundation was laid by both my parents, I moved ahead myself.
The same would have happened if yours had been a Christian household, just that you would be saying "I discovered Christ".
That parents influence their children's religion is a fact is, I think, apparent to all. My point is, that a mother, being closer to the child, can sway her children to her own religion.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
BTW, my situation is almost opposite of yours. Both my parents are super religious in the sense that they never miss a namaz and regularly recite the Quran (my mother often for 2+ hours a day), but are really liberal. I myself, have prayed regularly since I was 12, MashAllah. I'm vehemently opposed to things like the imposition of Shariah, hijab and all that, but my faith in Allah SWT remains strong :) And just like me, my parents are supporters of secularism, against gender segregation etc, you get the idea...
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
The same would have happened if yours had been a Christian household, just that you would be saying "I discovered Christ".
That parents influence their children's religion is a fact is, I think, apparent to all. My point is, that a mother, being closer to the child, can sway her children to her own religion.
that is what I am saying ...the mother *alone *doesn't have that much influence in swaying her kids away.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
that is what I am saying ...the mother *alone *doesn't have that much influence in swaying her kids away.
Ufff.... Lets just say that if your mother had been a Christian and your father a Muslim, you would have been a Christian, *PROVIDED that your mother was hell bent on making you a Christian. *
Since this can not be proven or dis proven, lets look at the overall influence of a mother over her child. That far exceeds that of the father.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
It's amusing how everyone is worried about the religion of OP's yet-to-be-born kids, when she herself doesn't seem to concerned by what's halaal and haraam in Islamic shariah. If her kids turn out to be 'not very religious type' or they don't follow Islam, it wouldn't be because their mother doesn't have much influence on them. It would be exactly because of their mother.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Won't OP be accountable for her children's shirk? She will knowingly bring them up with the knowledge that they not only believe in Allah (if they do), but also a God (that her bf believes in)??
What do you mean Allah and also another God? Allah is just arabic for Godit's surely ok if non-arabic ppl call Him something different..:p
Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?
I suppose they’d say I’m both of those! It’s not really THAT uncommon, at least in India.
In other news I met someone at a dinner party yesterday - a hindu who had a muslim sister-in-law. Her brother apparently married a muslim gal a year ago.
I’ll meet up with her a few more times and ask her how things went etc. The best part of it is I hit it off with her mother, so I’ll ask her direct how she felt about it. Straight from the horse’s mouth!
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Listen, I'm not trying to promote sinning, but it is a established Islamic fact that Shirk is when you deny Allah's existence or attach partners with him. Nothing else.
Just as tauhid has levels and degrees, so has shirk.
Usually for a Muslim, the bold part will be "so please, please forgive me"
That Rehman and Rahim is also Jabbar and Qahar ... :)
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Just as tauhid has levels and degrees, so has shirk.
And they are:
Shirk in Worship - accepting anyone/ thing other than Allah, as being worthy of worship.
Shirk in Personality - considering any other being equivalent to Allah.
Shirk in Attributes - considering another's attributes similar to the attributes of Allah.
No matter how you try to spin it, knowingly committing Zina is NOT SHIRK and therefore not unforgivable.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
^ You are absolultely right IceSoul, but you must also be aware that zina is a gunah e kabira, just like shirk? Remember?? The only difference between the two is that Allah can forgive whomever He wishes for zina, but He will not forgive for shirk. That doesn't mean zina is any less bad, or one can commit it hoping 'we would get forgiven' because we never know. Plus jaante bhoojte huwe gunnah karna bhi tou koi qabal e fakhar baat nahin.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
No matter how you try to spin it, knowingly committing Zina is NOT SHIRK and therefore not unforgivable.
and you know the fine line between 'Unforgivable' and 'will surely get forgive' :)
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
and you know the fine line between 'Unforgivable' and 'will surely get forgive' :)
There's no fine line here. It's a pretty bold line; there's a world of difference between Zina and Shirk.
But no, I do not know whether I will be forgiven for Zina or be punished for it (for a set time). Just that Zina won't keep any Muslim in the hellfire forever.
As I said before, I'm not promoting sinning, just that there's a difference between a Billion years and "Forever". :)
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
The only difference between the two is that Allah can forgive whomever He wishes for zina, but He will not forgive for shirk.
Refer to my above post.
Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Are we still discussing Zina here? 
He’s monotheist, ergo.. no Zina involved.. that’s what I think…
Re: Love match - What’s the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Sure, but only if he were the female and you the male in the relationship. Marrying a monotheist outside of islam only applies to muslim males, not females. Methinks the only way your marriage would be “valid” (from the islamic viewpoint) would be for him to convert to islam and since that will most likely not happen just accept it as invalid (from the islamic perspective). Embrace whatever ideas you upheld but don’t trick yourself into righting a wrong.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
What do you mean Allah and also another God? Allah is just arabic for Godit's surely ok if non-arabic ppl call Him something different..:p
Yes, that is most probably right. But there are fundamental differences between what Allah tells you and what your bf's 'God' tells him.