life b4 or After Marriage?

[Orpheus]

@haimeradil

haah. yeah sure.
pakistani men.
talk about wishful thinking.

come off your pedestal, before i throw you off.

[Reha]

your own home, your own way to set up things. honey ..uuh. are you forgetting that you will have a mil.

I dnt know how to multi-quote yet so Ill have to do this one by one!

My future MIL and FIL seem really nice but they have a home of their own in Pakistan. She doesnt like it in the US...says its too cold for her.

Plus, there she has everything she needs, naukar and all.

[Reha]

@Straight_up

^ Even if there is no MIL, what about your partner’s opinion, PS2? Don’t count on having “your own system of doing things” too much. :halo:

Of course his opinion counts SU! If I dont incorporate it, Ill be unfair to him and how he wants to live.

[Reha]

@Straight_up

Ahhhh, CE - she may or she may not. The point is it’s not guaranteed that one day she will set up her house just the way she’s always wanted, i.e. she could be living with in-laws, her husband could dislike her ideas, etc.

Married life doesn’t necessarily mean you get to have your own system of doing things - in fact, I’d argue you have more of your own system in your parents house than your husband’s.

Anyway, I think PSquared knows what I am talking about, right PS2 :halo: ?

I do. I think its a mixed situation though.

For instance, I could come to my parents’ house and lay around like a bum watching movies all day. I couldnt do that if I lived with in-laws. They would throw me out!!!

On the other hand, my mom has her way of running the house, her kitchen set up the way she likes it, etc. If I lived on my own with my hubby, we could set up house as we wished. That would be fun!

I guess by my own system, I mean a couple usually has their own lifestyle they come up with according to their habits, likes, dislikes, etc. Kwim? Any married couples that can attest to this???

[samraali22]

i really really wish i culd tell you its better when ur married but its not....:(the worst is sharing a room and ofcourse ur bathroom...it kinda drives you insane in the beginning

[mall]

@PSquared

I do. I think its a mixed situation though.

For instance, I could come to my parents’ house and lay around like a bum watching movies all day. I couldnt do that if I lived with in-laws. They would throw me out!!!

On the other hand, my mom has her way of running the house, her kitchen set up the way she likes it, etc. If I lived on my own with my hubby, we could set up house as we wished. That would be fun!

I guess by my own system, I mean a couple usually has their own lifestyle they come up with according to their habits, likes, dislikes, etc. Kwim? Any married couples that can attest to this???

I can understand what youre saying. married couples have a totally different mindset than the elders (mom dad etc). In fact, you will see a HUGE difference between a couple livin with in laws and one livin separately! their lifestyle changes drastically in both cases. in my case, i m livin separately (Hurray!!) and enjoyin each and every second of it. We come and go as we please. we eat, sometimes we dun, we wear any clothing we want inside home, we do EVERYTHING and anything cus we are free, we do not need to worry abt others. if u live with in laws u r constantly under pressure to involve them in everythin plus u have to think a million times before you say or do somethin both individually or as a couple.
so nuclear family system all the way!!!

[mall]

@samraali22

i really really wish i culd tell you its better when ur married but its not…:(the worst is sharing a room and ofcourse ur bathroom…it kinda drives you insane in the beginning

if youre living separately, thank God for that cus u have to bear only ur hubby’s bad habits and not your in laws!

[haimeradil]

I dnt know how to multi-quote yet so Ill have to do this one by one!

My future MIL and FIL seem really nice but they have a home of their own in Pakistan. She doesnt like it in the US...says its too cold for her.

Plus, there she has everything she needs, naukar and all.

oh okay. i thought you were single. well then yeah you are all set. good for you hun! :)

[mall]

she is single i think! she said future MIL ...

[Reha]

Re: life b4 or After Marriage?

I was single...this is a recent development! :)

[mall]

was? but u havent got married so how?

[Reha]

Re: life b4 or After Marriage?

What I mean is, Im engaged.

[Spanishgirl]

One of the best things of being married is to share the bed

[Red_Ruby]

Re: life b4 or After Marriage?

i have found married life to be alot better than my single life. i have my own space, my husband helps me with chores and the way my single life was hasnt been affected by me being married. i dont have to run home to cook dinners or clean up.

i think when u have ur own house life is so much easier. u dont have to tip toe around in laws.

[mall]

@Red_Ruby

i have found married life to be alot better than my single life. i have my own space, my husband helps me with chores and the way my single life was hasnt been affected by me being married. i dont have to run home to cook dinners or clean up.

i think when u have ur own house life is so much easier. u dont have to tip toe around in laws.

it sure is!!! but it wudnt b this easy when u have kids… i m worried how i m gonna adjust when i have a baby!

[mall]

What I mean is, Im engaged.

yeah thaz what i thot!

[Red_Ruby]

@mall

it sure is!!! but it wudnt b this easy when u have kids… i m worried how i m gonna adjust when i have a baby!

thats true. nothing has changed yet, im pregnant now and im sure motherhood is going to change everythin whilst marriage cudnt. but then again u have to move on in life and make the most of what ur life is at thatpoint.

[CE]

@PSquared

I do. I think its a mixed situation though.

For instance, I could come to my parents’ house and lay around like a bum watching movies all day. I couldnt do that if I lived with in-laws. They would throw me out!!!!

would they really throw us out, if we was to do tht…

p.s. i cant multi quote either, Aliyish help plzzzzz…

[CE]

@Red_Ruby

i have found married life to be alot better than my single life. i have my own space, my husband helps me with chores and the way my single life was hasnt been affected by me being married. i dont have to run home to cook dinners or clean up.

i think when u have ur own house life is so much easier. u dont have to tip toe around in laws.

MashAllah, seems like you got things just the way u want it, lucky you. do u live with ur inlaws?

can u really be urself in front of the inlaws, coz im sure like someone already said u have to be careful what you say to them and the way u speak to them and mind ur body language etc…

it’s like pakistani peeps just judge a book by it’s cover if ya know what i mean…:hinna:

[Red_Ruby]

Re: life b4 or After Marriage?

no i dont live with in laws. did for the first few weeks of marriage, like u do. but moved out straight away after that. and so glad i did

Obviously u cant exactly act like u did in ur parents house before u get married cos once ur married they expect u to be a certain way. im not sayin all in laws are like that but with mine i dont feel comfortable lying around just watchin tv for hours on end, cos they'l probably have somat to say about that. and yes u do have to watch ur tongue and be respectful at all times, last thing u wana hear is 'is that how ur parents raised u'.

although most of the time i dont agree with half the things MIL says i just play along with it for the sake of peace and i know that as i had a love marriage, my husband, being the only one in the family to have one, she does see me as bit different from her other DILs taht were her neices. and cos of that she does make comments to me veryyyyy cleverly, which i always grasp and i just smile and laugh everythin off and until this day she hasnt been able to say anythin about me cos everyone sees me laughin and gettin on with everyone. SO WHO'S THE CLEVER ONE :) so never give them a reason to say anythin to u, ull be better off that way