Life after marriage
My mom and stepdad went to India for 2 months right after I got married lol 
Re: Life after marriage
So basically after marriage a woman should forget she has parents or a family she grew up with and see her husband's family as hers. We should change completely even if we might have been super close to our family before marriage after that ring is put our finger, it's a different life. It would really help if my parents could disown me right after the baat pakhi
Re: Life after marriage
So basically after marriage a woman should forget she has parents or a family she grew up with and see her husband's family as hers. We should change completely even if we might have been super close to our family before marriage after that ring is put our finger, it's a different life. It would really help if my parents could disown me right after the baat pakhi
there is a adjustment period. Also you have to see what your and your 'new family's" schedule will allow. Marriage is a life changing experience.
Re: Life after marriage
So basically after marriage a woman should forget she has parents or a family she grew up with and see her husband's family as hers. We should change completely even if we might have been super close to our family before marriage after that ring is put our finger, it's a different life. It would really help if my parents could disown me right after the baat pakhi
Most definitely NOT true.. But, there has to be a balance. OP is the type of person who cannot seem to let her parents go at all, and that is not healthy either (why get married ?) .. Spending the night at your parents house that frequently, anyone will say is a big no-no. Staying here cuz someone is sick and needs attention or something, is a special cirumstance, but besides that, not necessary at all.. that is the main issue here.. the rest, there is alot of compromise, and many newlyweds don't realize that.. count your blessings, some have it alot worse than OP is mentioning..
everyone is close to their parents and it hurts when you have to leave their home .. I had to do it too, and after 6 monthsof being married, I still miss them as if I left yesterday ( I live about an hour away now), but it's something a woman has to do. it doesnt change my love in a negative way, but in fact, I appreciate them a heck of alot more now since I cant see them everyday.. and I tear up from sheer missing them when I speak to them on the phone. But, I would never compromise my own home with my husband, or vice versa.
Re: Life after marriage
So basically after marriage a woman should forget she has parents or a family she grew up with and see her husband's family as hers. We should change completely even if we might have been super close to our family before marriage after that ring is put our finger, it's a different life. It would really help if my parents could disown me right after the baat pakhi
Exactly which post in this thread gave you the idea that a woman should forget her parents after marriage?
Marriage means you are building a new life with your husband. It means you have a new home, a new schedule, new responsibilities. It is beyond ridiculous for a woman to expect that she will spend 2 nights at her parents home every-single-week even after she gets married. Especially in a situation like this where the parents clearly live in the same city, they don't have medical/age related issues which require daily care and nothing is really stopping the wife from visiting them otherwise. Not only can OP easily visit her parents during the day, but she can also call them, skype/video chat etc. every-single-day if she wants to.
We routinely expect men to cut the umbilical cord after marriage and make the wife his main priority. The same applies to women. Whether you are a man or a woman, once you choose to get married, you are choosing to start a new family. This does not mean you forget or abandon your parents/siblings etc. It means that your priorities change and your main focus should become the new life you chose to begin.
I'm amazed that ANYONE thinks it's ok for a spouse to do this. Do you think it's ok for a husband to spend 2 nights every week at HIS parents house?
Re: Life after marriage
So basically after marriage a woman should forget she has parents or a family she grew up with and see her husband's family as hers. We should change completely even if we might have been super close to our family before marriage after that ring is put our finger, it's a different life. It would really help if my parents could disown me right after the baat pakhi
Not at all. But let's be real here...you CHOSE to get married...no one forced you or put a gun to your head to do it. You made a choice to sign that dotted line and with that comes a lifestyle change. If you're ready for that change, I say get married and if not then don't. This goes for men and women.
You got married, your life and home are with your husband. Your first priority is your marriage. Even your parents will get that and back off on their own if they're smart and want to see their daughter happy. Being married takes work and none of it is easy...it is a melding of two lives and that doesn't happen overnight no matter how well you know someone before. Your finances, day to day routines, lifestyle, etc...everything down to your thought process has to change and become one independent unit. And its not a forced process...this is a natural one that happens with any and all couples...Muslim and non-Muslim. If you want it to work, you'll be wise and give it time and attention. If you're naive and immature, you'll expect to get married and still chill at your parents' house twice a week.
Re: Life after marriage
Well I would advise you to talk to them, and tell them how you feel.
But since we are dealing with desi inlaws, the advise needs to be edited. First off I still encourage you to tell them how you feel, but more importantly I encourage to ask them exactly how they feel and what is making them feel that way. Then after you hear them out, tell them how you feel about the situation and that you are trying your best. I would try talking with each of them separately, and with ur hubby around. This way you all can come to a conclusion.
I hope all goes well.
Re: Life after marriage
Not at all. But let's be real here...you CHOSE to get married...no one forced you or put a gun to your head to do it. You made a choice to sign that dotted line and with that comes a lifestyle change. If you're ready for that change, I say get married and if not then don't. This goes for men and women.
You got married, your life and home are with your husband. Your first priority is your marriage. Even your parents will get that and back off on their own if they're smart and want to see their daughter happy. Being married takes work and none of it is easy...it is a melding of two lives and that doesn't happen overnight no matter how well you know someone before. Your finances, day to day routines, lifestyle, etc...everything down to your thought process has to change and become one independent unit. And its not a forced process...this is a natural one that happens with any and all couples...Muslim and non-Muslim. If you want it to work, you'll be wise and give it time and attention. If you're naive and immature, you'll expect to get married and still chill at your parents' house twice a week.
No two marriages are alike and couples are supposed to decide what works for them, the hubby wants freedom, she wants to spend time with family so FIL should butt out. A woman makes great sacrifices for a man and the man is supposed to do his best to keep her happy.