^ he expects it because he didn't want her to work. She is working because she wants too. Also, we don't know the deal and conversation they had when she decided to go back to work. Maybe OP made promises to guaranteed him that nothing will change from her working.
Even if she was a SAHM, I think her husband is pretty demanding. The guys I know, who are extremely successful career professionals with SAHW, even they don't expect garam rotis and pristine homes. These men help their wives with bathing, feeding and playing with the kids and they don't make passive aggressive comments to their wives. They see their wives as their partner and respect them and make concessions for changed circumstances after kids.
^ he expects it because he didn't want her to work. She is working because she wants too. Also, we don't know the deal and conversation they had when she decided to go back to work. Maybe OP made promises to guaranteed him that nothing will change from her working.
She is the main wage earner and is responsible for her babies healthcare. This guy is an ass.
She is the main wage earner and is responsible for her babies healthcare. This guy is an ass.
she is not the main wage earner...she wants to work. Please read her earlier post. Even the insurance issue is that her is better thn her husband's and that is the reason she has made him go part time.
He has never told me to work or not to work. If I were to stop, he won't force me but he has never told me not to work.
There was never a convo about me going back to work. It was sort of expected.
If I tell him I am unhappy, he says, "I already told u where the door is." This is the time when I really feel like leaving.
That would draw the line for me. You have spoiled him rotten. If my husband ever said that to me, I would not stand around to hear more of it. It's verbal abuse. You are in a tough situation. Maybe you should really leave for a few days and focus on yourself. Leave the kids with him too since he thinks you are not doing a good job. I know you can't probably ever do that because he will taunt you for that too and you are their mother.
she is not the main wage earner...she wants to work. Please read her earlier post. Even the insurance issue is that her is better thn her husband's and that is the reason she has made him go part time.
She is earning twice that of him making her the main wage earner. And wouldn't you want your kids to have the best healthcare possible? Her priorities are the kids.
And clearly the husband is enjoying the money she brings home as he is keen for her to ho back to school to even further her career.
He has never told me to work or not to work. If I were to stop, he won't force me but he has never told me not to work.
There was never a convo about me going back to work. It was sort of expected.
If I tell him I am unhappy, he jokingly says, "I already told u where the door is." This is the time when I really feel like leaving.
Wow I am shocked mizsani. What exactly is he bringing to your life? These sort of taunts are extremely hurtful. I can't believe he doesn't appreciate the fact that a young baby is very difficult to deal with let alone two. And you are juggling that with a job and home.
No one is gna treat you well if you don't put yourself first. Just loom after yourself.
I was in a similar situation, but minus kids.. where he would constantly tell me to leave "his house", cuz apparently a fight means our apartment together was suddenly his and I am the one who no longer belonged there.. so, one day, I called his bluff and was leaving, he practically begged me to stay, so I stayed a few more weeks.. I thought he might change since he saw how serious I was about changing his behavior towards me and that he cannot treat me the way he was... until it happened again, and that was that. I left.
when he would tell me to leave, i felt so low in my life, like I was obliged to him by letting me be his wife. and I hated that feeling, because neither was I superior to him, nor him to me. and I did not want to feel like garbage that could literally be thrown out at his command.
I'm not saying you should leave.. but that kind of behavior is unacceptable.. men like your current husband, and my ex, have the tendency to use that threat towards women because they know the woman will never do anything about it... you have to call their bluff and see if they actually mean those words. only then you will know their true feelings.
She is earning twice that of him making her the main wage earner. And wouldn't you want your kids to have the best healthcare possible? Her priorities are herself and the kids.
And clearly the husband is enjoying the money she brings home as he is keen for her to ho back to school to even further her career.
Who wouldn't enjoy more money, but OP wants to work and doesn't have to work. OP does not want to stay home...It is NOT her husband decision to have her work. it is her's. Better health insurance coverage doesn't mean better doctor's per say...it's just mean more options and coverage. I have way better medical coverage from my work, but cost is high as well and since my kid's pediatrician is covered by my husband's insurance we carry him on that.
OP is at mistake as well. I agree with what TLK said. It's both of their egos and maybe OP's is being oversensitive as well. some of the things she has mentioned would piss off most parents...like not dressing the kids properly for the weather etc. Not wanting to feed the kids when she was clearly mad at the husband etc.
also we dont know the relationship they have...did he ever joke with you before you had kids.
My husband repeats my mom home address every time i tell him i want to cut my hair...but i know he is joking and doesn't mean anything from.
If she Wants to work, why shouldn't she? Nothing gives the husband the right to be emotionally abusive. She isn't doing anything wrong. Her husband is just finding faults to appease his sense of manhood. Even as a SAHM I don't think you can keep immaculate house and homemade food all the time with two infants. There is a lot of adjustment after having a child and as the husband wanted the kids in the first place he should be more accomodating. Hell I only had one kid and my apartment was like a bomb site most days in the beginning.
OP husband has very unrealistic expectations with two kids. Wait till they are toddlers and scribbling over the walls while sinking their heads in spag bol
Who wouldn't enjoy more money, but OP wants to work and doesn't have to work. OP does not want to stay home...It is NOT her husband decision to have her work. it is her's. Better health insurance coverage doesn't mean better doctor's per say...it's just mean more options and coverage. I have way better medical coverage from my work, but cost is high as well and since my kid's pediatrician is covered by my husband's insurance we carry him on that.
OP is at mistake as well. I agree with what TLK said. It's both of their egos and maybe OP's is being oversensitive as well. some of the things she has mentioned would piss off most parents...like not dressing the kids properly for the weather etc. Not wanting to feed the kids when she was clearly mad at the husband etc.
also we dont know the relationship they have...did he ever joke with you before you had kids.
My husband repeats my mom home address every time i tell him i want to cut my hair...but i know he is joking and doesn't mean anything from.
I think the nature of his taunts are quite different than your husband's. Would your husband show you the door if you ever told him you were unhappy? I don't think so. Joking about one's haircut needs are not the same as joking about one's emotional needs.
Who wouldn't enjoy more money, but OP wants to work and doesn't have to work. OP does not want to stay home...It is NOT her husband decision to have her work. it is her's. Better health insurance coverage doesn't mean better doctor's per say...it's just mean more options and coverage. I have way better medical coverage from my work, but cost is high as well and since my kid's pediatrician is covered by my husband's insurance we carry him on that.
OP is at mistake as well. I agree with what TLK said. It's both of their egos and maybe OP's is being oversensitive as well. some of the things she has mentioned would piss off most parents...like not dressing the kids properly for the weather etc. Not wanting to feed the kids when she was clearly mad at the husband etc.
also we dont know the relationship they have...did he ever joke with you before you had kids.
My husband repeats my mom home address every time i tell him i want to cut my hair...but i know he is joking and doesn't mean anything from.
I would want to work too just to get away from that passive aggressive a$$hat.
Also another problem, the kids don't understand now, but eventually they will if he keeps making these snarky comments to them about OP. That HAS to stop.
OP have to told him about this comments and how hurtful they are to you.
To Theorist, believe me my hubby has made a lot of comments that if i repeated here... all of you would tell me to leave him, if all i did was tell you he made those comments and made me cry. I have learned that he is only joking and nothing more and i have also told him that there is a time and place to every things as well.
Terebina786...that a$$hat is also at work while OP is at work...so who is she getting away from while working???
I think girls set false expectations for guys as well, especially when they are working full time and pretend they are superwoman, they can make rotis on the spot when coming back from, take all cleaning responsibility to themselves, grocery shopping, etc.
Circumstances change. Good on OP to have been such a good homemaker. But she has two infants to deal with and her husband should change his expectations accordingly. He seems to be living in some dream land.
she is not the main wage earner...she wants to work. Please read her earlier post. Even the insurance issue is that her is better thn her husband's and that is the reason she has made him go part time.
He doesn't get insurance though work. I can't make him do anything. We talked about it and he agreed to go part time.
That would draw the line for me. You have spoiled him rotten. If my husband ever said that to me, I would not stand around to hear more of it. It's verbal abuse. You are in a tough situation. Maybe you should really leave for a few days and focus on yourself. Leave the kids with him too since he thinks you are not doing a good job. I know you can't probably ever do that because he will taunt you for that too and you are their mother.
I have seriously thought about this but I just don't want to leave the kids. Also, i can't determine where I would go. I don't want to go to my moms because he can come there and I wouldn't want my mom to be stressed. I would go to a hotel but he will then get my mom involved.
Wow I am shocked mizsani. What exactly is he bringing to your life? These sort of taunts are extremely hurtful. I can't believe he doesn't appreciate the fact that a young baby is very difficult to deal with let alone two. And you are juggling that with a job and home.
No one is gna treat you well if you don't put yourself first. Just loom after yourself.
He used to make me a better person. He was so nice and supportive. He was nitpicky but I wasn't so sensitive because it wasn't about my housekeeping or mothering skills. It was usually about little things like my outfit or makeup.. which I changed to avoid arguments or kept doing but ignored his comments.
That would draw the line for me. You have spoiled him rotten. If my husband ever said that to me, I would not stand around to hear more of it. It's verbal abuse. You are in a tough situation. Maybe you should really leave for a few days and focus on yourself. Leave the kids with him too since he thinks you are not doing a good job. I know you can't probably ever do that because he will taunt you for that too and you are their mother.
She is earning twice that of him making her the main wage earner. And wouldn't you want your kids to have the best healthcare possible? Her priorities are the kids.
And clearly the husband is enjoying the money she brings home as he is keen for her to ho back to school to even further her career.
Wow I am shocked mizsani. What exactly is he bringing to your life? These sort of taunts are extremely hurtful. I can't believe he doesn't appreciate the fact that a young baby is very difficult to deal with let alone two. And you are juggling that with a job and home.
No one is gna treat you well if you don't put yourself first. Just loom after yourself.
OP have to told him about this comments and how hurtful they are to you.
To Theorist, believe me my hubby has made a lot of comments that if i repeated here... all of you would tell me to leave him, if all i did was tell you he made those comments and made me cry. I have learned that he is only joking and nothing more and i have also told him that there is a time and place to every things as well.
Terebina786...that a$$hat is also at work while OP is at work...so who is she getting away from while working???
But he admitted that he isn't joking all the time. He says that sometimes he purposefully is taunting me. If I knew he was just joking, I would be more prone to ignore it or laugh it off.