Re: Ladies
^ what if at the time she says she doesn't want children.... but then later on has a change of heart and wants children????? THese things can happen... its not a crazy unheard of "what if".
Being ok with your husband getting married but not ok with him having children with his other wife can be very risky. People change their minds ...what if your husband yourself wants to give his new wife children because he falls in luv with her??
Why put yourself in this possible situation??
Re: Ladies
^Well, if they change their minds afterwards then their nikah won’t remain valid(because that condition was included in their marriage) and I’ll have to kick her out. 
or
I’ll have to leave.
Re: Ladies
The ONLY time I would ever consider letting my husband re-marry would be if I was unable to give him children, and children were the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. I'd rather be a wife with a husband and step kids than a women with no husband and no kids.
Re: Ladies
One of my mom’s cousins couldnt have kids… her husband didn’t care and said it was in “allah’s hands”. But his mother was ready for a divorce to go down. To keep his sister’s marriage salamat, her brother and HIS wife gave one of their newborn twin sons to them. It was such a sacrifice from the birth parents end it was biggest and bestest gift that mom’s cousin and her husband ever got. They raised that child as their own and were the happiest and proudest parents ever.
Fast forward 19 years… Their son is in his first year of college… when his “dad” suddenly decides that he actually wants kids of his own. He gets married to another woman… who is almost like 30 yrs younger than him!!! 
You can imagine how my mom’s cousin felt… their adopted son felt… and how her brother and his wife felt… 
The whole thing was so messed up and selfish from her husbands end.
His mother was beyond happy ofcourse. We heard she was so excited that she was going have grandSONS that were of her own blood.
… go figure that the guy has only had 4 daughters as of now…
Re: Ladies
I don't know why more people don't adopt ..
Re: Ladies
Adoption is always an option, but sometimes as PR said guys want their OWN children, their own blood. And PR that is so sad, her brother giving them their child mashallah was so wonderful, there are not many people in this world that would do that.
Re: Ladies
Islamically the woman has to give permission to her husband to take another wife/wives but this has to be given at the time of HER nikkah, if the first/second etc wife does not agree with her husband taking another wife in the future then she must include this in the nikkah so as to give her the grounds for divorce if he does, i.e breaking of marriage contract. However if she doesnt include this demand that he remain monogomous then he does not need her permission, but also remember that Allah has insisted that a man keep his wife happy so this right to marry more than one wife is only to be exercised when for the greater good & not for selfish reasons, it makes no sense to remarry if this leads to divorce of the first wife, defeats the purpose & hence the first wife must be willing to accept the next wife to keep all involved happy.
Only a woman who holds Islam & her husbands moral integrity highly enough would happily accept another wife. In a perfect world this right would have no place but on this planet where women out number men it is a need to safeguard vulnerable women who need all their needs met & not only financial support.
Everyone can fully understand why a woman would feel cheated on this one but Allah know best, its just a shame that there's so many men out there who take advantage of this right for the wrong reasons & make their wives suffer for it.
But this right has its logical reasons on this earth & is probably the greatest tests Allah has placed on womenkind. Allah has also tested mankind , we are not naturally monogamous & have strong urges, this is the way Allah has designed man but we are advised to have only one wife aswell as waiting untill we are married etc.
I don't believe that the majority of men should ever exercise this right as most are weak minded individuals & many are selfish, but there are noble, morally strong men who think of others before themselves & are never selfish who can fullfill the character requirements needed to make this work, their wives would respect their husbands enough to support his decision to remarry as they would be secure in knowing that he was doing it for the right reasons even if they didn't fully agree...everybodies human.
What we have to remember is that this life is just a test, if Allah has made it halal & if as a woman you believe that your husband is sincere then support him as this will only reward you in the hereafter, if you believe that your husband is doing it for the wrong reasons & is disregarding your feeling then by all means leave him as he is not fullfilling his duties to you & is being selfish & he will be punished for it, but as a human, if you see the good in anything then support it & Allah will reward you, we all need to think much bigger than this world & this life because in the end none of this will matter.
BTW - i only ever intend to marry once, an asprin overdose is nothing to look forward to so 1 woman is enough but if i found myself in the position to help a desperate woman then i would do everything i could to get my wifes support & would proceed only if i had it.
We must strive to please Allah & not ourselves.
Also, women are not only babymaking machines, i would never condone a man remarrying because she couldn't have children, there are so many orphans out there & adoption is the best path in this case...its a beautiful thing & more of us need to do it.
You are so right about the preconditions but brother CM, not too many men weigh all those out before getting remarried. At that time they only argue about their haq not their responsibilities.
Wow, I wish more men thought like you 
I am not sure about the religious rules on it, but I wouldn't want this done to my sister/daughter, and wouldn't do it to someone else's sister/daughter. I just don't like this idea, at all.
WOW MashAllah, more men should think like this...infact ALL men should think like this.
:k:
Also, women are not only babymaking machines, i would never condone a man remarrying because she couldn't have children, there are so many orphans out there & adoption is the best path in this case...its a beautiful thing & more of us need to do it.
I quite agree.
However there is another point I wish to bring up.
You mentioned adoption.A very dear friend realised she could not have children,and so she and her husband adopted two children through Eidhi in Islamabad.The elder, a baby girl is special needs,and was abandoned.The second is a healthy baby boy whose mother was unmarried.
Anyways,whilst discussing this issue some time ago someone mentioned that when their daughter reaches puberty her father will be a na mahram for her, and vice versa for my friend and her son.
Can someone clarify this....and if it's true,then maybe this is why some men balk at the idea of adoption.It seems very sad.
Re: Ladies
^ that's true.
yes that’s true unless razaye rishta was created with the children before they turned 2. Definitely consult an Alim. You can ask you question here.
Dawat-e-Islami > Services > Dar-ul-Ifta Ahl-e-Sunnat
Re: Ladies
I dont understand why men think that sleeping with a woman is the only way they can "help her out" - and that is all regardless of all the other ridiculousness in this thread.
I quite agree.
However there is another point I wish to bring up.
You mentioned adoption.A very dear friend realised she could not have children,and so she and her husband adopted two children through Eidhi in Islamabad.The elder, a baby girl is special needs,and was abandoned.The second is a healthy baby boy whose mother was unmarried.
Anyways,whilst discussing this issue some time ago someone mentioned that when their daughter reaches puberty her father will be a na mahram for her, and vice versa for my friend and her son. Can someone clarify this....and if it's true,then maybe this is why some men balk at the idea of adoption.It seems very sad.
someone mentioned a scenario like this some time ago on Gs. and from what i remember the person said if the baby is breastfed from the adoptive mother or other female in the family, then that child is now a mehram.
Re: Ladies
Also. I would like to add. If I knew that my SO was cheating/bringing in another wifey.. I would claw her eyes out. Rip all his shirts and kick him in the face whilst he slept and then shave his head.
God understands.
Re: Ladies
What difference does the issue of mehram vs. na-mehram make anyway? Most Pakistanis don't obey the na-mehram rules in such an orthodox way anyway, so it should be the last reason you'd avoid adoption.
I dont understand why men think that sleeping with a woman is the only way they can "help her out" - and that is all regardless of all the other ridiculousness in this thread.
Exactly.
Don’t you know that in this day and age where one can hardly maintain a decent lifestyle and raise 2 kids, the only reason a man would marry a second wife would be to satisfy his lust and legalize his hormonal issues…and no, guys, please don’t tell me how noble you are that you are DYING to help put a widow 
. $10 nikatley nahiN haiN masjid mein charity key liye, chaleiN hain "widow ko save kernaiN…
Re: Ladies
lol