Is it just me or are more and more people frowning upon women who choose to be housewives? Is it because people are increasingly more materialistic and simply seeking a “doctor bahu” who brings home a hefty pay cheque?
I personally would not want to stay home after investing so many years in my education but I don’t see a problem with the women who choose to stay home and take care of their husbands, children and homes. That’s a full-time job in itself. I don’t mean girls should get married after high school and just be housewives; but why are people so judgmental if a woman who is educated chooses to give priority to the domestic side of life?
There is nothing shameful about being a housewife. If she’s fulfilling the responsibilities of her marriage and children, there’s no gunnah in it..she’s still fulfilling a part of her deen. I’ve nothing against working either…but even then…family should be the first priority. I’ve seen some cases where working moms come home and they’re too tired to devote time to their kids who end up being behind academically and socially and in other ways as well. And I’ve also seen positive examples among working wives/moms. As long as one can maintain a balance…to not let their career come at the expense of their marriage/family.
Sometimes housewives are not just housewives, they are doctors, engineers and other highly qualified professionals. They just choose to be a housewife to fulfill their part and take care of their husbands and kids, I have huge respect for them.
Nothing in life is permanent. A smart person changes their priorities with changes in family. I know doctors who took time off to be Sahm while children were young and plan to return. This is called being adaptable. Someone who is a housewife today might be ur boss tomorrow. Ppl who are so judgement all tend to have a very short term outlook on life.
Hah, my mum is a housewife but she’s the one who deals with the car mechanics, picked me up from school during rush hours, stands in line to pay the bills, brings in electronic parts from the other end of the city. I think she is out of the house more than inside. She gets things done which neither me or my dad have the ability to. Definitely prefer the 9-5 lifestyle than being someone constantly on the job from the time you wake up, till when you got to sleep.
I think these days people want a superbahu. They want her to be educated and have a professional career AND look after kids and the house and make handi roti too. I am a housewife, after my baby was born both my husband and I decided it would be best if I took care of our baby while he worked. Although we live with his parents they both work too so there would have been no one to look after our baby anyways. Plus if we had put our baby into childcare I would gave just been working to pay childcare fees. What’s the point in that? I can give my child better love and care than a million nannies. I have plans inshallah to return to work when kids start nursery/school but even then it will be part time not full time. My husband is fine with this but my MIL doesn’t agree. But it doesn’t matter, you have to make the best decisions for your child.
That’s exactly the problem with people these days; they’ve got such unrealistic expectations. They don’t realize that if a woman has a professional career, she will need help with the home. In those situations, both the husband and wife split up the domestic roles yet women are expected to be doing the vast majority of the work.
Where can i find one? can you point me towards any? I haven’t come across any ladies nowadays who would opt for housewife at the expense of career for a few years.
I know some girls who are really highly educated and would quit in a second for the right man. The right man has to be able to at least meet some standards that these girls have and I am not talking about Prada handbags just some standards of living.
I also know some girls who despite being doctors and engineers have quit after having the baby because they didn’t trust daycare or nanny to raise their kids. It really depends how much you value your career vs your kids and also sometimes people don’t really have a financial option to quit for kids. It also depends on grandparents and their support, are they willing or able to help? lots of factors, but there are educated girls who despite having options stay at home.
I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to frown upon a housewife or a career-woman. Sab ki apni marzi. As if housewife ban jayegi to apki earnings kam ho jayengi ya kaam karegi to apni salary aap ko de rahi hai?
I would love to be a housewife - take a few years off and just chill with the kids. :hinna:
But if you want a housewife…why go after women who have professional careers to begin with? Is there a lack of desi women who have a Bachelors’s only and did not do any type of “advanced” schooling and who have no problem staying at home? Why do desi men and/or their parents find a girls who spend YEARS (almost a decade in case of doctors) to pursue a career, and expect those girls to “compromise”?
My sister has a master’s degree in Microbiology and Biochemistry but chose to be a housewife and take care of the kids. Another cousin of mine has a masters in computer science, also opted to be stay-at-home mom.
Maybe you did not come across anyone like that coz they avoid you for the chauvinistic, condescending way you talk.
I find it works both ways. There are still people who struggle with the idea that women might want to do something outside the home.
I would love to take out a few years when I have kids but the reality is that in this competitive job market a career break would spell the end of the career I have built so far. Also feel like I would eventually reallyneed some regular adult interaction and intellectual stimulation. I do also really value the financial independance and no thats not the same as being materialistic. I don’t want to neglect my home and family so my hope is I will be able to work part time.
Each to their own. If I am to be totally honest though and I imagine I will get some flak for saying this I do wonder when I meet ladies who stay at home and have no other interests (including of doing anything once their kids have grown up). I think it’s inportant to be active whether it’s regular physical activity, learning a new skill, having a hobby, doing volunteer work etc. I know young girls whose only interest is to watch a drama or have a gossip with your friends. That life is not for me and I guess it’s my curiosity that makes me wonder how they do it? I don’t know if that’s being judgemental to be curious about it but I can’t help questioning it in my own mind.
I think gupshupper is not wrong to look for a professional woman so she can always have the option of going back to work if she wants. He said he only wants a housewife for few years which in my opinion is not wrong. A lot of guys want women to stay home during early childhood years. For example OYMWA gave good examples of how both his sister and cousin are highly educated but opted to stay home.
A woman who has career of being receptionist/secretary etc. can also take a break and EASILY go back to work after a few years of break. Yes, there are many “highly educated” women who have no problem taking a break or staying home. My mother is one of those women. She was a practicing OB/GYN when I was born (soon after their marriage) and practiced for several years. However, when my younger sibling was born, she gave up her career and became a SAHM.
The problem I have is when guys (or their parents) specifically want a “highly educated” bahu…someone who has the doctor/engineer/lawyer etc. title…someone who actually spent YEARS obtaining that specific career…and expecting these women to compromise. Often the same guys (or their parents) will not even consider a woman who only has a bachelors and doesn’t have a “professional” career that demands the advanced education. There is nothing wrong if a “highly educated” woman herself wants to give up her career or even take a break. But IMO it’s ridiculous for men and/or their families to specifically seek out these “highly educated” women with the expectation that they make the compromise…and when these women choose not do, they’re labeled selfish and not family oriented.
There are PLENTY of desi girls who don’t want a professional career after marriage but why take the easy option when you can create lots of drama and tears trying to convince someone to do something they don’t feel comfortable with
Is there a lack of desi women who have a Bachelors’s only and did not do any type of “advanced” schooling and who have no problem staying at home? Why do desi men and/or their parents find a girls who spend YEARS (almost a decade in case of doctors) to pursue a career, and expect those girls to “compromise”?