"Just a housewife"

Re: “Just a housewife”

Totally agree with that, was your mom a practicing ob in states? if so she can always go back and practice.

haha, nothing wrong with abstract art rotis!
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Round Rotis, abstract rotis - they all ended up the similar shape

Re: “Just a housewife”

I think we agree on everything with each other here. The topic should naturally die off now. Don’t be tempted to introduce something a banter over because i like this now…

Re: “Just a housewife”

It’s a matter of personal preference. Whether someone wants to work or not work. As if working is a holy thing that will do great good. No, most people work to boost income and lifestyle. Work for a woman should be a choice not a compulsion and if her spouse if ok with her not working it’s should be fine. Whether she has kids or not.

Re: “Just a housewife”

I know zilch about medical careers but my khala left her practice for her kids and ultimately her skill set became obsolete. I never did figure out what went wrong but apparently the field she was in moved forward very fast and she didn’t keep up with the new practices. It’s sometimes not that easy to get back if you’ve lost contacts, experience and knowledge.

Re: “Just a housewife”

Exactly, guys want trophy wives these days who can multi task & what not. They just want doctor wives so they can show off around. Too much to ask from a girl in my opinion.

Re: “Just a housewife”

EXACTLY!

Why go for career woman then? Why not for a house wife who can work random jobs time to time, can quit easily to raise kids & then go back again & join.

Re: “Just a housewife”

^drs can work part time and randomly too. Doctors are allowed to take breaks, keep up with their certifications and can always go back find a clinic. Yeah career won’t be as fancy but the options are there. Much easier for people in medical profession to take breaks in my opinion and maybe thats why some people prefer that kinda spouse.

Re: “Just a housewife”

I’m not against working women or anything.

Have you ever thought why rich people in the world get their kids educated and yet don’t do anything as far as their careers are concerned because they’ve too much money and they don’t need to do a job.

The purpose of education is not to be a slave to someone. All you women need to broaden your scope of thinking. Who says you were educated to do a job or have a career?

Education is all about giving you insight about life, knowledge and wisdom to survive and when you don’t have money in your pockets allows you to have a career/job so you don’t die hungry or start begging on the streets.

Women now a days have this excuse of career/job to stay out of home and responsibilities which is crazy. Women don’t feel like being a 100% mother what’s so shameful about that? It’s such a terrible time when husbands have to eat food made by a kaamwali.

I’ve seen many women who went for this career freedom thingy and after just a couple of years now they want to stay home and be a house wife. You think you can have whatever you want whenever you want?

So crazy!

Re: “Just a housewife”

In addition to my mother having a medical background, my husband is a physician and we have quite a few friends who are physicians in various specialties (including many who are women). I’m not sure how many people you know in real life who are physicians and in what specialty…but trust me when I say your views above are very wrong. Its easy for us to write that doctors are allowed to take breaks, they can keep up with certifications etc. but in reality, it’s really that that simple.

In the U.S., most people who become M.D. usually have loans more than $100K. How many men make enough money where they can pay off a loan like this while their wife stays at home? Certifications, licenses etc. also cost money…literally thousands of dollars. How many husbands have the money to pay for this so that the non-working wife can continue to keep up with her continuing education/certifications? With doctors who work at hospitals, often the hospital helps with with these costs. Look at the amount of time people have to spend during medical school and residency to learn it all. Even if a woman takes a few years off…and lets say tried to get back to her career when kids start kindergarden…who’s going to watch the kids when they are home? How is the woman going to find time to spend re-taking classes/getting certifications etc? It’s not like she can just do it all while the kids are at school and spend every evening/weekend catering to her family. Most doctors do not have a set schedule…definitely not the ones that work in a hospital. I know several doctors that are in private practice and they must still make themselves available for after hour emergencies. So even when a woman goes back…it’s nearly impossible to others to expect that she will have a job where she never has to work in the evenings or weekends and will have a set schedule.

Loss of skill is a MAJOR problem for any doctor who takes a long time off from work. For specialized doctors, like anesthesiologist, surgeons, OB/GYN etc…not performing those procedures for years makes it VERY difficult (if not impossible depending not the amount of time they took off) for them to go back. We have several doctors on GS and I’m sure even they will agree with this. And think about this as a patient…would you choose a OB who just started practicing after taking a break for 3 years OR the OB who has been practicing continuously since med school? Do you want the anesthesiologist who has done thousands of epidurals in the last few years OR the one who just came back to work after a long break? In many specialties that require doctors to perform procedures, practicing and doing those procedures over and over again makes a BIG difference.

Yes there are “options” and yes, there are rare positions out there that have flexible hours and what not. But that is not the majority. In big cities where there is not a lack of doctors, having a gap of few years can hurt someone’s career big time and make it almost impossible to get back in. Its one thing to take a maternity leave for a few months or take a leave of absence due to a emergency…but it is not easy for a woman physician to simply stop working for a few years and get back into the field.

If a woman doctor chooses to take a break from her career then that’s her choice. But for outsiders who are not doctors and/or are not familiar with the demands of the profession to expect a woman to do this and think that it’ll be “easy” for her to re-start after a few years is not realistic.

Re: “Just a housewife”

You know honestly I have a new found respect for housewives. Up until last year I was MashAllah a highly paid executive in an ad agency and my life was insane hours at work, meetings, dinners, drinks and a whole lot of shopping, it was all very fast (and I live in Dubai, this city has a way of eating away ur soul without u realizing it) after I got married last year I just wanted to take a break! The last 5 months have taught me how hard it is to be at home and the responsibilities that come with it. I sleep & wakeup without an alarm clock but the to do list is still in my head (it used to be follow up with client 5 months ago but now its more like have to call the laundry guy for ironing so that the clothes get dropped off before Thursday etc) and no ones even there to acknowledge ur little efforts. Also, it gets quite lonely with no/minimal human interaction..lunch at my work place was a huge affair & now I have lunch in front of the TV! It feels lonely & is truly a thankless job.

I remember judging those girls who got married after school or uni & never got to live or enjoy the work life. I still feel bad that they lost out on that experience but dont feel sorry for them anymore, I respect them cuz they have been doing what they do for so long. Needless to say I’m going to update my CV and start the job hunt!

Re: “Just a housewife”

this is simple. i be male person who wants to make best genetics for offsprings. need intelligent XX contribution. intelligent women dont sit around at home after high school. hence i go for the bright woman even if she is working as chairman of the universe. but i have bank account big enough that she can sit at home and buy lawn dresses all day. after she makes our super-intelligent babies.

bottomline - arranged marriage is a free market phenomenon. if there is supply for the demand, it will be met. if there were no doctors who wanted to become SAHMs, this wouldnt happen.

Re: “Just a housewife”

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Re: “Just a housewife”

There are also women who work and then come home and do the housework. You talk about “calling the laundry guy”. I come home in the evening put my laundry on and iron and fold. Cook a few dishes on Sunday for the week ahead. Do the cleaning, hoovering etc. Luckily husband is also supportive and helps me. My point is though housework can be managed alongside having a job. When kids come along I do think its a different story but when there’s just two of you how much work is there? Girls who get married and stay at home (and don’t have kids yet) I don’t really know how time passes?

Re: “Just a housewife”

How are working professional forced to compromise? If they knew already that its expected of them to ditch the career, and they still go ahead and marry. Its not forced is it?

Re: “Just a housewife”

I’m sure you you juggle things brilliantly but honestly I choose not to live life like that. I’m not spoilt but I feel you earn for yourself & for ur family and if you can pay an extra 20$ a month to the laundry guy just so that you dont stand for hours and iron clothes, whats the harm in that?

I dont wana spend my life like stuck in a time table, thinking chalo aaj Sunday hai to mein jaldi khana pakalu for the rest of the week. I’d rather spend that time with my husband by either going out or staying in and talking to him!

My point is if you are able and can afford to deligate work why take it on yourself? Mujhey superwoman baney ka shock nai hai at the cost of not being able to enjoy life.

So what do I do at home? I wake up when my man wakes up for work and we talk while we takes my advice on what to wear for the day, I send him off with his breakfast, have some green tea in my balcony and catch up on an hours worth of reading. By 10:30-11am I check grocery and if anything needs to be bought or if laundry needs to be taken care off, whichrver of the two it is gets taken care of within an hour or so followed by my lunch and TV. I clean after that and start cooking for dinner by 3 pm it takes me a while to chop & follow online recipes cuz I have just begun cooking and gets done by 4:30pm aprox and within an hour or so my husband comes back home.

Yah I know its not the most hectic life actually its quite relaxing but I have lived the flipped side of the coin for 5 years up until 5 months ago with 18hours work day that includes being stuck on the highway at least 2hrs in a day and I can tell u that I wasn’t living, I could have dropped dead tomorrow and regretted ALOT! not giving my husband & my marriage time, not cooking for him, being dead tired when I enter my home at 9:30pm.

If have it in my ability to take things slow and actually enjoy life why in the world would I chose to live that kind of a miserable life?

As of now I do miss work but when i do start again I would make sure the following happens a) I dont have insane hours b) some of the responsibilities will have to be delegated to the professionals c) between the struggle of home & work I don’t forget to live my life

I wasn’t born a superwoman and I don’t intend to become one now! Living in its true sense means more to me then being proud of folding laundry or cooking on Sundays.

I guess I roll differently. YOLO is my lives motto :slight_smile:

Re: “Just a housewife”

^
Wait till kids come along lol. You’ll realise you actually had loads of time being a housewife but being a SAHM you have pretty much none :slight_smile: its a bonus for me if I even manage to comb my hair in the morning :smiley:

Re: “Just a housewife”

Never was a housewife, but I have been a stay-at-home-mom for the past 6 years. Quiet often now and then I do get jabs from the working ladies or snarky comments which directs to something along the lines ‘You should do something on your own too’? Lady how is this any of your business?

I couldn’t care less about anyone else thoughts/opinions on my life, this is our choice as a couple and I am doing my part as a parent to raise my children however I choose to.

Also I’d like to add, I do make round rotis and baste a rotissere chicken flawlessly. Absolutely yes :hehe:

Do I sleep peacefully at night thinking today I gave my ALL like most of my days for this family? A definite yes Alhamdulilah. And that is all that matters for now.

Re: “Just a housewife”

Took the words straight from my mouth :slight_smile:

Re: “Just a housewife”

i suspect those other ladies taunting that ‘maybe u should do something else too’ are just looking for stir up trouble in others homes…they love doing that to others and then watch the tamasha