Re: Jealousy
psquared knows !!
I don't need to get jealous. (Alhamdulillah) I would only try to understand her intentions by discussing the matter with her and know her intentions. May be after talking to her I understand her intentions better and the whole picture is more clearer to me. I don't have any right to jump to a conclusion without knowing her side of the story. Though she is A LOT more strict than me when it comes to talking to na-mehram (MashAllah, I want to become like her) but I know if she ever does, that would be to help a person in big trouble, but even in that case she would discuss with me before taking any step (Alhamdulillah).
In my case, the question should be whether she would mind / feel jealous if I reply to a na-mehram. Alhamdulillah, she trust me, and I have told her all my passwords (though she was not interested to know). I don't delete any of my messages so she may read my past messages whenever she wishes to. In short, there is nothing secret between me and her.
Just after my marriage, I told her if she doesn't like my posting on an online forum where I might have to interact with a sister only to share and learn good knowledge without extra chit chat and without disclosing my identity, I would never visit any such place online without her permission. Same goes for my official matters. Alhamdulillah she said that she trust me completely and she knows my intentions, so she doesn't mind it.
One thing I don't appreciate about her is that she trusts me more than I think she should. She doesn't keep any kind of check on me. I don't have to keep a check on her because mashAllah she is very firm in her beliefs. At times I feel she deserved a husband A LOT better than me and Allah (s.w.t) blessed me with a wife a lot better than I deserved. (MashaAllah)
I pray to Allah (s.w.t) to guide us all towards the right path, and bless us with sincere intentions and the wisdom to make the right decisions in life. Also may Allah protect all the good relations from "Nazar-e-bad"
I don't think its about trust... I can completely trust my husband, but still not like him to be all chummy chummy , jokey jokey , guppy guppy with girls on msn chats and facebook (specially if there are a couple of specific ones, who supposedly happen to interact with him more than others and more than his male friends)... once in a while if he interacts in general with everyone equally then thats fine, but being too interactive to one particualr female user is just weird
he should be spending that time with his wife, being friendly with his wife, joking and teasing with his wife, and sharing his thoughts/details of day etc with his wife not other girls...
besides husbands are always pressed for time, between job, house, wife's wishes (of going out etc).... would they even have time to chat to other girls like that??? if everythings going right
Re: Jealousy
Yeah afro this is what i meant, being close with one or two and then talking about them all the time and when confronted the answer is oh we are just good friends, you do not need to worry. But obviously jealousy is there because the guy is talking about this other person all the time!
Woman truly can pull tricks, but you won’t trick me. I’m not sending you love messages nor am I flirting with you! I’m contributing to this topic as I said only in important matters and this surely is one 
Please correct my sentence and when you quote me then quote me accurate in the future. I said *“important matters”…*Thank you.
Thank You for misleading the people (edited) and now everyone will ride your train, but it is clearly stated *“important matters” *so I got nothing to fear.
Why do you bring in my wife? Why do you bring in families? Is this the only trick you can pull now? Is this why people read blogs and when someone doesn’t appreciate their opinion they go to call out the wife and the family? I made mistakes and I realized them when I was in the Mosque. So I’d kindly request you to leave out this issue in future as you will accomplish nothing but make a mockery of yourself.
Kaanta chubba after reading my first post? Do you want to flirt with the hubby of your best friend? Do it, I don’t care as it is your decision, I’m only making you aware of the consequences! The truth hurts I know as it hurted me when I realized that I’am little bit offside from being the husband a woman is looking for, but Allah is always there and gives his momin chances to repent and I did, so please think before you may answer.
Don’t get overwhelmed by my answer. You seem to be high educated and high education tells me to control our temper, to be accurate and precise, show respect and love.
Re: Jealousy
Let us forgive and forget each others mistakes for the love of Allah, by following the ways of our ideal, who taught us to ignore people who misbehave with us. Silence is the best revenge.
May Allah forgive our mistakes and guide us all in the right direction.
Re: Jealousy
^
And may Allah forgive you for not reading the truth, but following these women who have no base for their accusations. NOT EVEN AN IOTA if you are NEUTRAL.
I'm out of this as I cannot accept to be misqouted all the day and to be confronted with no sense making accuasations.
Brother I am not calling you or anyone else wrong. I myself am not pious enough to do so. I am only saying, let us avoid a fight. If you feel you are sincere in your opinion and have conveyed your point of view with wisdom, then there is nothing for you to worry about. Same goes for anyone who opposes you, everyone has a right to convey his message. BUT let us be respectful to each others, and not make an issue out of it. If anyone feels annoyed by anyone, the best way is to avoid and ignore.
Kindly forgive me if you were offended by my words. I didn't mean to hurt anyone but to convey that we should follow the ways of our ideal, specially during sensitive discussions.
Re: Jealousy
i wudn't be friendly with a married or commtd guy so i expect the same frm the other girls...
plus guyz dnt like tht sorta thing so y shud they be allowed to do it....double standrds? dnt u think
Re: Jealousy
I would like to know that I dont have to watch the guy like a hawk all the time...like we dont have enough to worry about!
**Absolutely agree here with you. It is not allowed unless it is really important. In today’s world where there is a lot of intermixing etc this cannot be absolutely avoided but as you said only for important matters. Do not give the opposite sex a chance to even think about you. **
**I agree with Numb, not because i have sympathy with him but because i feel he is right. There is no such thing as a “NO” even if someone has absolute faith and trust on someone else they should always be involved with them. We are all human beings and jealousy is something we get easily involved in. As we are human beings misunderstandings are easily created and if you do not keep even a little bit of check this misunderstanding will become associated with jealousy and then it can easily create problems with mangetars or husband/wives. Consider this: You do not keep a check on your husband and he talks on MSN with a friend of his who is a girl. They are very frank with each other. You happen to read his chat logs hypothetically speaking and you see that the chat is really frank. Wouldnt you think there is someone else in his life? This is the first thing a fiance or wife will think and it is certainly what i thought. Later you will confront him and ask him ‘tumne mujhe kyon nahi bataya tha is ke bare mai?’ then problems and arguments and fights… After all the drama etc it will be discovered that it is just a friend but you would not want him talking to other girls frankly on MSN again would you? and this time you will indeed keep a check on your husband… same goes for if a girl does it. **
**Numb, you are not posting useless posts. This is my thread and in my opinion whoever contributes in it has contribted something worthwhile as i was looking for people’s opinions. You are not a women hater or guppan posts basher as i am sure you do not hate me. There is an old adage ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ … this adage specially goes for those women who are husband stealers and when they are not able to do that then they get mighty angry and try to sabotage the family and the husband’s image in front of his wife. No i am not writing fictional filmy stuff here this actually happens in the world. Even fictinal filmy stuff’s inspirations come from what happens in the real world mostly. So the matter of fact is jealousy is natural and it does happen! **
Lets get a few things straight here ladies, and try to draw the lines about the trust part.
Its OKAY to feel you trust your guy still if he talks to his co-workers and you're usually invited to their group events as his partmer so you can also see the kind of chemistry your guy exhudes around each one. You will feel alright if everythings clean, but if/when you feel a pinch, you should trust your instincts, and its not always your guys intention to stray, women can get pretty manipulative too in order to get what they want.
If your guy is unnecessarily chatting too much on msn or facebooking more than he should, even if he tells you everything, DON'T think its OKAY. this is the difference of where is the appropriate place to trust and where not. In Career/Social life you gotta deal with people, but on internet we usually choose ourselves who we want to befriend.
Re: Jealousy
An attached man needs to respect his wife and not be chatting with girls online unnecessarily...
I just wouldnt want to be with someone who I had to watch all the time...its a turn off
oooooh if he was my fiance I would make SURE he stops talking to the so called very close friend :halo: and him talking to me about that one person ALL the TIME oooooooooooo he wouldn’t unless he wants trouble for himself lol
other than that…I dont mind him having co-workers on facebook or msn and saying “hi…hello” sometimes. I agree with PSquared about a girl knowing if her man is trustworthy or not. Which I do but I still question him sometimes to show him i’m keeping an eye on him 
(which i dont )
Re: Jealousy
Well the problem is that close friend of his is hypothetically speaking a very close friend of yours. Then what will you do?
Lets get a few things straight here ladies, and try to draw the lines about the trust part.
Its OKAY to feel you trust your guy still if he talks to his co-workers and you're usually invited to their group events as his partmer so you can also see the kind of chemistry your guy exhudes around each one. You will feel alright if everythings clean, but if/when you feel a pinch, you should trust your instincts, and its not always your guys intention to stray, women can get pretty manipulative too in order to get what they want.
If your guy is unnecessarily chatting too much on msn or facebooking more than he should, even if he tells you everything, DON'T think its OKAY. this is the difference of where is the appropriate place to trust and where not. In Career/Social life you gotta deal with people, but on internet we usually choose ourselves who we want to befriend.
oh really?
Re: Jealousy
if my guy does that,then i would definitely be jealous..the reason wouldn't be that i do not trust him,etc,but,i wouldn't trust those girls.i would never know what's there in those girls' minds.
Re: Jealousy
Yeah i agree! It is also possible that other girls put things in guys minds...
Re: Jealousy
Marriages are all about understanding each other and compromising. If someone thinks that their spouse wouldnt appreciate them talking to friends and etc, they should refrain from it as respecting their spouses’ like or dislike. If they both think the same way and do not find it objecitonable at all, meaning if they share that strong a level or trust, good for them :k:
Re: Jealousy
But kaante ajate hain mirage...