Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
No its not that. If you know me and have been reading my previous posts, I am a girl who would like to do everything to have happy in-laws. Its just that I don't think I can be a good bahu like her even if I don't work.
You are low on confidence already. You have too much knowledge of the family, I wouldn't get married there.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Thats what I am thinking :halo:
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Follow Muniya's advice and find yourself a nand-less home too, just not this one, please. Oh dear lord, world is about to go up in flames.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Bus dua karain Mirch Bhai. If its good for me, then only Allah should choose this proposal for me. Otherwise, plenty of fish out there 
Lets see yaar. She is too good. Its strange such bahus do exist in this day and age.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
So its my aunty's bahu. Its been more than a year since they got married. We have been hearing so many tareefain and praises of her bahu.
** Bahu's background:**
Susraal's background:
The bahu is not working, is a home-maker, is giving her 200% in managing the house, remembers the names of her MIL and FIL's medicines, doing their khidmat etc. The in-laws are extremely happy with the bahu.
She is really doing great. But what I feel is that she **ACTUALLY **got an easy pitch to play on. Since there is no daughter or elder bahu in the family, the family was really happy when they finally had a girl in their home. She immediately became daughter to her MIL and FIL and sister to her BIL. The bahu didn't have any competition so whatever she is doing is being appreciated by her in-laws alot.
Now, since she already has set the criteria and standard, I think the second bahu will have a hard time in making her place in the family because she will be compared with the first bahu for everything.
Does a girl's chances of becoming good or bad bahu depend more on the situation than her nature? I think any girl can be a good bahu in the above mentioned circumstances.
You know what scares me about marriage? The above post.
If she does a great job...its not because she IS a great bahu or a good person or working so hard. Its because she got an easy pitch. A free ride. No competition.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a place in a family for yourself? She is working hard and doing a stellar job and others like yourself are analyzing her poor background and low social status. Everything that you describe above...that you admittedly fear you cannot do...and you still think she got an easy pitch? Really?
You fear you cannot do what she does but somehow because SHE is doing it and because she comes from a lower income bracket...its easy for her?
You didn't feel any shame writing such things about someone who did nothing to you?
I am disappointed.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Bus dua karain Mirch Bhai. If its good for me, then only Allah should choose this proposal for me. Otherwise, plenty of fish out there :p
Lets see yaar. She is too good. Its strange such bahus do exist in this day and age.
If you can work under her wings, under her supervision then maybe it will work. Let her take the lead and show you the way around the curves.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
:mirch:
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Bus dua karain Mirch Bhai. If its good for me, then only Allah should choose this proposal for me. Otherwise, plenty of fish out there :p
What is your family background ? If your background is higher than her ? Will you treat her as your equal ?
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
lool a new range of drama artists enter
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
You know what scares me about marriage? The above post.
If she does a great job...its not because she IS a great bahu or a good person or working so hard. Its because she got an easy pitch. A free ride. No competition.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a place in a family for yourself? She is working hard and doing a stellar job and others like yourself are analyzing her poor background and low social status. Everything that you describe above...that you admittedly fear you cannot do...and you still think she got an easy pitch? Really?
You fear you cannot do what she does but somehow because SHE is doing it and because she comes from a lower income bracket...its easy for her?
You didn't feel any shame writing such things about someone who did nothing to you?
I am disappointed.
Reha, I belong to the same social background as hers. In fact, she has a father and I lost my father long ago and I have been supporting my family. I have not been very good in managing household chores as I have been working since very young age. Thats why when I see the way she manages the house, I don't think I can do all this. She has been remembering the names of her MIL and FIL medicines and I have not been a very good daughter to my mother's since I have been working since I was 17, managing the family's problems (in the absence of my father and any elder sibling). I have more been acting as the son of the family and thats why I am not that confident of marrying into that family since I already saw her being such a good bahu.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
I think it depends more on the family/parents then the DILs. If they can make space for you and appreciate you for what you are, and no one turns it into a competition, it will be fine. For example, if the second DIL wanted to work, not everyone takes it as a bad thing.
Don't try to take anyone's place... make your own.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
You know, no matter how good the woman is, she would not appreciate competition. A slight hint that you are challenging her position, you know what she and rest of the house will be saying? Jub se Ashy ayi hai tub se khana hee kharab hai...
You are going to be blamed for everything, your husband won't be able to do much because its his bhabi and bhai jaan and she is everyone's favorite bahu. You will crash to a low total on a very good and easy to bat on pitch. :D
Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
This is so sad. You actually have nothing better to do than opening threads like this? My goodness.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Bee jamalo. 
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
This is so sad. You actually have nothing better to do than opening threads like this? My goodness.
Yup. Am so jobless these days :D
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Reha, I belong to the same social background as hers. In fact, she has a father and I lost my father long ago and I have been supporting my family. I have not been very good in managing household chores as I have been working since very young age. Thats why when I see the way she manages the house, I don't think I can do all this. She has been remembering the names of her MIL and FIL medicines and I have not been a very good daughter to my mother's since I have been working since I was 17, managing the family's problems (in the absence of my father and any elder sibling). I have more been acting as the son of the family and thats why I am not that confident of marrying into that family since I already saw her being such a good bahu.
Ashy...if you end up marrying into this family...you will have to try. She had her own work cut out for her as the first bahu and should things progress...so will you. But that's true for ANY family you marry into.
If anything you should be happy that there aren't any saas-bahu dramas in that household.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
The women who work are hitting the highway right about now so wait for more beating later tonight. 
How dare you, huh? 
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Reha, I belong to the same social background as hers. In fact, she has a father and I lost my father long ago and I have been supporting my family. I have not been very good in managing household chores as I have been working since very young age. Thats why when I see the way she manages the house, I don't think I can do all this. She has been remembering the names of her MIL and FIL medicines and I have not been a very good daughter to my mother's since I have been working since I was 17, managing the family's problems (in the absence of my father and any elder sibling). I have more been acting as the son of the family and thats why I am not that confident of marrying into that family since I already saw her being such a good bahu.
Can you not be open about your fears with the family or at least with the potential spouse?
Talk to them about this. You said you know the first bahu and you get along well. Talk to her then. And please stop looking at her as your competition. Why can't she be your big sister? You lost your father, I'm sorry to hear that... why can't the FIL be your abu? You have to change your mindset and treat the family as your own family... and make a genuine effort at that, don't fake it to compete with the first bahu... and if people still make stupid comparisons, in one ear out the other. Even if they say the first bahu is better, say jee MashaAllah behan kis ki hai! :p
Please don't get into desi family politics... ever!
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Bee jamalo.
So, I will be a Bee Jamalo??? :( Then I should better not marry in their family. Aik aur acha rishta haath se gaya :(
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
JL: stop scaring the girl! 
and I agree with stoppit. At first I was kind of disappointed that you opened this thread Ashy but I can kind of see where you are coming from. You are family already - I am sure they will make room for you and not expect you to follow 1st bahu’s footsteps. I have read your previous posts and you seem like the type who is willing to work and compromise when needed. So you’ll be fine - just don’t get into this relationship thinking you have the top the older bahu.