So its my aunty’s bahu. Its been more than a year since they got married. We have been hearing so many tareefain and praises of her bahu.
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Bahu’s background:**
Has been living in large joint family in a small house
Middle class family with only one bread-winner, i.e. bahu’s father
Susraal’s background:
Small family with just two sons, so no nand for the bahu and no previous bahu in the family
Everyone’s working in the family so financially very well settled as compared to Bahu’s family
Big house as compared to bahu’s parent’s house
High social status as compared to bahu’s family
Since no daughter and no previous bahu in the family, she immediately became everyone’s favourite. Her husband, her brother-in-law, her MIL and her FIL.
The bahu is not working, is a home-maker, is giving her 200% in managing the house, remembers the names of her MIL and FIL’s medicines, doing their khidmat etc. The in-laws are extremely happy with the bahu.
She is really doing great. But what I feel is that she **ACTUALLY **got an easy pitch to play on. Since there is no daughter or elder bahu in the family, the family was really happy when they finally had a girl in their home. She immediately became daughter to her MIL and FIL and sister to her BIL. The bahu didn’t have any competition so whatever she is doing is being appreciated by her in-laws alot.
Now, since she already has set the criteria and standard, I think the second bahu will have a hard time in making her place in the family because she will be compared with the first bahu for everything.
Does a girl’s chances of becoming good or bad bahu depend more on the situation than her nature? I think any girl can be a good bahu in the above mentioned circumstances.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
I think any girl can be a good bahu in the above mentioned circumstances.
Unfortunately you are mistaken my friend :). Yes the situation/circumstances do play a part but believe me the dheet ones will be dheet no matter how good you treat them and even if you put them on a pedestal.
Basically, you are trying to say that she belonged to a humble background and now she has a comparitively luxury life so she has eaisly and happily adjusted to it. But i would disagree with you cuz no matter what if you are a good person you are going to make it work or atleast do your part honestly even if you get married into a family of lower status than you. And same way no matter how much of a better life your new family is giving you, if you are just not the type to make it work you would find 101 issues with it.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Unfortunately you are mistaken my friend :). Yes the situation/circumstances do play a part but believe me the dheet ones will be dheet no matter how good you treat them and even if you put them on a pedestal.
Basically, you are trying to say that she belonged to a humble background and now she has a comparitively luxury life so she has eaisly and happily adjusted to it. But i would disagree with you cuz no matter what if you are a good person you are going to make it work or atleast do your part honestly even if you get married into a family of lower status than you. And same way no matter how much of a better life your new family is giving you, if you are just not the type to make it work you would find 101 issues with it.
But what about the second bahu? Won't second bahu have more difficulty in adjusting to this family since this first bahu has already established standards and since she's already the favourite of this family? Didn't first bahu get a very very easy susraal which the second bahu will not have since there is already a bahu to whom this second bahu will be constantly compared?
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
And what is that? No, its not a love marriage. Completely arranged one. Relatives so I have been observing this very closely.
No... the NAND is missing. She gets along with the mother in law because she has respect for her and maybe they have similar likes and dislikes but with nand, you add different type of dynamics to the situation. Bahu wouldn't have as much respect for the nand as she does for MIL and same goes for the nand and that creates friction.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Are you kidding me?
Its never easy to adjust into a new family and she seems to have done a brillliant job.
We should be applauding her.
If she recognizes and appreciated getting married into a "better" family (per your standards which are pretty much all based on $$)... then kudos to her.
Mainu samaj na avai - we hate when bahu's are b!tchy we hate when they are nice...
What exactly do we want?
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
and 2nd bhootni will have all these maids + first bahoo too. so what is the praablem?
Aray baba... I am not talking about the household chores.
The second bahu will have a competition which first bahu didn't have. She will be noticed if she hasn't remember the names of the MIL medicine which first bahu has been doing.
First bahu got a level playing field and she is scoring century. Second bahu will not have this kind of field.
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Are you kidding me?
Its never easy to adjust into a new family and she seems to have done a brillliant job.
We should be applauding her.
If she recognizes and appreciated getting married into a "better" family (per your standards which are pretty much all based on $$)... then kudos to her.
Mainu samaj na avai - we hate when bahu's are b!tchy we hate when they are nice...
What exactly do we want?
Hating everyone and everything is the way to be man! No discrimination!
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
Aray baba... I am not talking about the household chores.
The second bahu will have a competition which first bahu didn't have. She will be noticed if she hasn't remember the names of the MIL medicine which first bahu has been doing.
First bahu got a level playing field and she is scoring century. Second bahu will not have this kind of field.
Since when did marriage become a cricket game?? :/
Re: Is she a good bahu or its just that she got an easy pitch to play on?
No... the NAND is missing. She gets along with the mother in law because she has respect for her and maybe they have similar likes and dislikes but with nand, you add different type of dynamics to the situation. Bahu wouldn't have as much respect for the nand as she does for MIL and same goes for the nand and that creates friction.
hmmm good point. And she also didn't have any SIL. This means, the situation does affect a girl's behaviour in her susraal. If there's no nand, she can be a good bahu otherwise no.
