actually, i know plenty of larkiyan here in OZ who have gone back to pakistan to find a dhulla.. and its worked out pretty well for them. But then again, us aussies are kinda wierd.. haha
no seriously, i think parents and girls in general do have an issue with going back to find a guy, and its usually the last resort (as ive seen many time) lekin it does work out ok if you want it to. If a persno is going to be stubborn right from the beginning, then ofcourse ur gonna encounter problems. Lekin, if you’re willing to give and take, then it works out well..
plus a very very close person to me likes someone back home who doesnt have a proper education or watever.. lekin hes in the famiyl business and mashallah doing quite well. At first i was extremely reluctant and i yelled at both parties, but ive realised.. its not about where ur raised or what u do.. its about “clicking” hehe.. if ur ideas, morals, values all gel in together.. then its awesome :k:
i agree with what you saying sadzz…it all depends on the individual and how open people are to accept each other. If i think about it seriously, i wouldn’t marry a guy from back home as i wouldn’t want him to give up his whole life just for me…i don’t think thats fair. Im not worth it
u know, i told my parents and any guy who has supposedly shown any interest in my from back home, that if i get married to a guy from there.. i'll make it a point to go back there and live
i guess its to test whether they only want to marry me cus of immigration.. but mostly its cus id hate to see a guy leave his well paying job and lifestyle for me.. ive seen soo many guys do that. They are working in awesome positions back home, but then the girls bring them here and for years they are just doing odd jobs and not getting anywhere.. its unfair
i know, a girl has to do the same many times, but i dunno... if the guy is going to be the ultimate breadwinner.. why rob him of his job?
so true sadzz...but im also thinking of the guys emotional and psychological state..and whether or not he's still have either of them if he was to be married to me :D
Bad idea. My mum's golden rule of arranging marriage is to never marry a girl from here to a guy from Back Home - regardless of how educated or not he is. The risk of marrying a guy with a very different perspective on family life (to phrase it extremely politely) is too high in her opinion.
On the other hand, she's a major fan of marrying guys raised here to girls from Back Home.
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Okay, so what about girls raised in the West? What are they to do?
Okay, so what about girls raised in the West? What are they to do?
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Get arranged to marry the desis guys who don't want to marry a girl from back home or don't care where the girl's from.
My mum once heard that one of my aunts had given up looking for a husband for my cousin here in the UK and was about to start looking in India. (my aunt being from the Indian branch of my family).
My mum immediately phone my aunt and alternated between giving her an earful and downright pleading with her not to do it. Eventually, my aunt gave way.
Ultimately, they did find a rishta for my cousin - they got her married to a guy at the other end of the England.
Sara, dearest.. again i will tell u.. u r only but 19!!
and yes, there are plenty of desi guys out there who are willing to marry a western raised desi girl. Dont stress bout it arrite?? Inshallah it'll happen when it needs to... till then, enjoy being carefree!!
Get arranged to marry the desis guys who don't want to marry a girl from back home or don't care where the girl's from.
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easier said than done :)
Everyone says guys there are different now...I don't know though. I'd prefer someone with teh same background as mine....born/raised here, but still has his culture intact...im not an ABCD and I don' want a ABCD either.
Also, there are tons of guys like what you described in the USA. You essentially want someone from a family that immigrated to the USA within the past 10-15 years.
^ when its time… look into guys who have lived overseas for a bit too :k: A lot of them are well mixed.. as in good cultural and religous values and at the same time quite “westernised”
You get bad abcds and good ones..
you get bad “fobs” and good ones
and then u have the ones inbetween too…
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*Originally posted by ~Tikhi Jalebi~: *
i have noticed this new trend, guys want wives that work n r making money..i dont think our dads looked for women that were working
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Well, it always helps, but its more important to be educated (in the true sense, anyone can get a degree) and have future aspirations etc...
There's a pt in life when women might want to have kids and they might leave work for a few years for that, but once kids are grown up what's going to keep these women preoccupied - gossip, tv etc..it's better to have some sort of career to go back to..and the extra income always helps...but that's not as important as staying focused and busy doing something productive.
Definitely. To get a guy married when he is not settled himself is plain "stupidity".
Yes. That is, even if the girl has a good job.
N/A
Every case differs. One should not have the condition. I mean this is a silly condition. Although, it may hurt egos in some cases. I think a female would feel proud if her man earned more than her cz she wants to look up to him as a MAN who is supposed to be stronger than her in all ways, isnt it?
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*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
do you think a guy needs a job before he can think about getting married?
would girls prefer a guy who had a stable job before he commits?
and would guys be put off by a girl if she had a better job than him?
does the man always need to earn more and be the bredwinner?
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No, if it is just a phase that a potential is going through, it would be silly to turn down the proposal. I mean there are ups and down in everyone's life and this situations is a part of life in most cases..... so no it should not be rejected. Can be delayed but not rejected.
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*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
^ but is it right for a person to reject a "potential" on the basis that they don't have a steady job?
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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by TheNewWannaBe: *
To answer your questiond:
Definitely. To get a guy married when he is not settled himself is plain "stupidity".
Yes. That is, even if the girl has a good job.
N/A
Every case differs. One should not have the condition. I mean this is a silly condition. Although, it may hurt egos in some cases. I think a female would feel proud if her man earned more than her cz she wants to look up to him as a MAN who is supposed to be stronger than her in all ways, isnt it?
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lets say you are well settled in your life.. have a nice 80k+ job.. a nice car.. a nice house.. and YOU GET MARRIED ... but all of a sudden.. you lose that job.. are unemployed can't find a job.. (this happens) you are forced to sell you car and buy a used car let say $2000 car and all of a sudden you are struggling for survival (Allah na kar aisa kabhi ho) then what?
If the above happens to me.. i would be glad that i got married.. coz i have someone to be with me. help me out in the troubled time and get my morals up.. you live for yourself but more importantly you live for and struggle for those whom you love.. (atleast in my case) So even if you are not at the best stage of your life.. i think "job" is a main criteria for shaadi
Also, for North America (and other places as well) getting married if a potential rishta comes is better coz then you are saved from alot of fitna that is out there.. its easy to say that one can control their temptations but its NOT..
