i would rather marry a larki who is intellegent and can support me in my decision by telling me if they are right or not..
NOT BY JUST SAYING... "jo aap ki marzi"
i mean parents sometimes try to find a 5yr younger girl for their son and i just find the relationship between them as to .. "ji acha. jo aap kehtay hain sahi hai" ....
aur waisay bhi.. after studying hard through my uni i have always wanted to earn something out of it.. all the time and effort i spent on it.. and i am sure a girl would want the same from her degree so nothing wrong with it.. she can work.. she can be a doctor and make 100% more than me.. i am happy with my little C++ compiler and a lappy as long as it can feed my family .. :)
^ i know some girls like that… they idolise their husbands to a point that they dont see anythign wrong in what their hubby does. Not that they should see wrong.. but i mean, ur his wife.. so shouldnt u have at least a lil bit of say in what he does? :nono2:
its nice to get married to somenoe who appreciates ur input.. and its nice to be able to give some and know that ur opinion counts.. good stuff ansoon, may the force be with u and u end up with a parhi likhi kurri :k:
I want one hot, cute, pretty girl when I marry jkn
ok seriously…I have seen that happen and not even in other families but within my relatives. The second question which follows his intoduction is “so what is he doing these days”…yep that better be followed by “he is working …”.
I do look for little physical attraction but that is not my entire criteria and my parents certainly dont think like that either (thank God). I would rather get a educated girl and yes it doesnt matter how much she earns, infact I would be happy if she is a working woman since single income family is alot hard to manage. I know some men want to feel like the bread earner so a wife who makes more then them just makes them little unease. Guys look from this point, if she is earning and helping in support the family…isnt dat a good thing that? I also prefer a girl near my age and not 5-6 years difference same reason as to what Ansoo wrote above.
ok..so iv read everyone input, and i understand where almost everyone is coming from.
thanks guys, this has been really helpful.
Just one more thought though, say if the guy i was marrying was from Pakistan? I have an education, im working, i earn and can support myself. Do you think its ok to marry a guy from pak, who has no education, and will probably never be able to get a decent enough job in the UK to support us in our married life. What happens when i have children?..
Just one more thought though, say if the guy i was marrying was from Pakistan? I have an education, im working, i earn and can support myself. Do you think its ok to marry a guy from pak, who has no education, and will probably never be able to get a decent enough job in the UK to support us in our married life. What happens when i have children?..
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i think that will be a bad idea, sooner or later you are going to get annoyed with him and thigs might get rough, so it's better to not go for it.
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*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
ok..so iv read everyone input, and i understand where almost everyone is coming from.
thanks guys, this has been really helpful.
Just one more thought though, say if the guy i was marrying was from Pakistan? I have an education, im working, i earn and can support myself. Do you think its ok to marry a guy from pak, who has no education, and will probably never be able to get a decent enough job in the UK to support us in our married life. What happens when i have children?..
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Bad idea. My mum's golden rule of arranging marriage is to never marry a girl from here to a guy from Back Home - regardless of how educated or not he is. The risk of marrying a guy with a very different perspective on family life (to phrase it extremely politely) is too high in her opinion.
On the other hand, she's a major fan of marrying guys raised here to girls from Back Home.
i think that will be a bad idea, sooner or later you are going to get annoyed with him and thigs might get rough, so it's better to not go for it.
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but how does one convince parents that this is a bad idea? All the guys here want to go back home for a wife as apparantly "BBCD's cannot cook, clean, raise children, do not pray....etc"
Bad idea. My mum's golden rule of arranging marriage is to** never marry a girl from here to a guy from Back Home** - regardless of how educated or not he is. The risk of marrying a guy with a very different perspective on family life (to phrase it extremely politely) is too high in her opinion.
On the other hand, she's a major fan of marrying guys raised here to girls from Back Home.
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How would these two rules reconcile with each other. Ive seen lots of parents have this view (maybe even my own to some extent), but then where would they expect the girls to get married?. It just wouldnt add up, simple maths.
Miss Mo - I think as long as the girl is not forced into it and does it out of her own free choice, then its all good. You live and die by the choices you make, and obviously she should consider all the problems before hand.
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*Originally posted by M: *How would these two rules reconcile with each other. Ive seen lots of parents have this view (maybe even my own to some extent), but then where would they expect the girls to get married?
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True :D
The logic only works as long as only a minority hold this view that guys should get married to girls from back home. As long as the number of boys looking to marry local meat does not get outweighed by the volume of local meat looking to marry non-imported boys then the system works.
How would these two rules reconcile with each other. Ive seen lots of parents have this view (maybe even my own to some extent), but then where would they expect the girls to get married?. It just wouldnt add up, simple maths.
Miss Mo - I think as long as the girl is not forced into it and does it out of her own free choice, then its all good. You live and die by the choices you make, and obviously she should consider all the problems before hand.
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we live or die by our choices?
more like live or die by our parents choices.
anyway..thanks for your input. This thread has helped me make my choice
of course i blame him...what an unfortunate life he must lead for to reject someone of my standard....how dare he!! i pity him actually, he's going to be crying himslef to sleep everynight knowing what he could have had.
hey, I agree with you..but that’s your side of the story.
I’m sure he has valid reasons too …Oh well, maybe it’s a lesson to be learned for your parents. Why put kids in such situations in the first place…just beats me.
because a man from back home can teach me all about my pakistani culture…my parents doubt themselves and their ability to have raised me with pakistani cultures and tradiations…apparanlty, i’d listen to my husband more…how naive of them to think so..
anyway…
P.s…only my side of the story counts…im always right
jkn
well then, i hope it all goes well for u Inshallah
and he knows it too haha!