for marriage?
do you think a guy needs a job before he can think about getting married?
would girls prefer a guy who had a stable job before he commits?
and would guys be put off by a girl if she had a better job than him?
does the man always need to earn more and be the bredwinner?
yes..you’v guessed it…im bored!!!
...and marraige is on your mind.
yes to all of these questions
^ really? why is that so?
very good thread Missy… uve raised some valid and thought provoking points :k:
i am entitled to my opinion and i do not need to clarify it to any one.
I dont think a guy needs a better or more paid job than a his wife/partner.
i think its important that both parties are thinking about the issue to a certain degree.
what i don;'t understand is why people use this as an excuse not to get married?
What if your husband was to lose his job once your married?..does that mean u divorce him???
how stupid...obviously..its an important issuse and needs carful consideration...but to use it as an excuse not to get married???????
^ agree...
i personally think, people these days have too much criteria for not getting married.
I know a job is important, but really its not the end of the world.. imagine if ur future hubby works for some multinational company, and the day after the nikkah he loses his job... then what? cancel the shadi?
i remember when my parents got married.. dad was still doing his masters.. infact no.. he went overseas after he got married to do his masters.. he didnt have a job or any steady income.. lekin it didnt matter..
i say, whatever happens... happens for the best
hmmm interesting
where are all the guys???????
i need inputs people, and fast
this is a matter of to marry or not to marry!!!!
dont u guys want to see me happy???????
Considering that one gets married while studying (both partners), job shouldn't be a priority, but the ability to get a decent job should be considered.
I don't mind earning more than hubby, however, it could make me more dominent and more independent.
He better be the breadwinner. I would like to work for fun I guess, but I wouldn't want to be burdened with the responsibility of running the family. That is why I stress 'the ability to get a decent job' and preferably someone local, as it is easier to find jobs for those who live in the same country than for someone coming from abroad.
Job is absolutely important. Frankly, I'd outright refuse to marry any girls earning under the equivalent of £23,000. And preferably, she should be working at a bluechip company, though I'm flexible on that.
With today's inflated prices, it's increasingly hard for a single-income family to be provided for as comfortably as 30 years ago, or even 20 years ago.
My parents (my mum being a housewife herself) continually tell me that the age of the housewife is over, and certainly they'd be looking for for only girls with professional careers for me.
To be able to provide a quality education for children whilst providing comfortably for a family requires the kind of income that a 2-income family is empowered with.
The girl may be okay with a guy not having a stable job, but the real question is will the parents be okay with it? I think not. Plus the girl needs to investigate the underlying reasons for why the guy doesn't have a stable job, to see if he's motivated enough and is hard working etc. and not just some lazy bum. Is he studying? Or has he faced some other problems along the way that have hindered his prospects to get a stable job?
sadzzz, my father was also studying when my parents got married, but my grandparents knew him well before that and knew that he'd get somewhere in life. Which he did Alhamdulilah.
No one can forsee the future (like him losing his job etc.), but you should always make your decision knowing whats important to you and what the current circumstances are for him not having a stable job, and if that acceptable to you and your parents, then i don't see why you shouldn't go ahead with it. Provided everything else in this prospective rishta is also to your liking.
yeah, i understand that and i think back in those days parents did have a better understanding of who their daughter was marrying… these days people only looking at money and status, and thats all..
i duno, i guess im grateful my parents dont consider any of that… an education is the only criteria they have.. the rest just happens. Lekin then again, i think my parents just want me out! 
just joshing..
i have to agree with MS here...its absolutely neccessary for girls to have a good education or career and yes the potential husbands and inlaws should inquire about it..just like girls' parents do.
I just get amused at some parents who prefer to send their sons for higher education to universites and abroad and have their daughters to study at a local college or stop studying after highschool so they could be married at early age or as soon as possible. I say potential rishta guy should also have the criteria of having a career wife so that girl's parents would learn something about it too.
Behnon, you all seem so perturbed parents concerned about the guy's education and his capability to earn money.
I've heard how many larki kay parents say: 'larka kamata hona chaheye hai, shakal chahay jaisi bhee ho'.
That comment really disturbed me. Larkay kay parents go out on a hunt to find him a hoor pari, while larki kay parents don't even care about how a guy looks so long as he can make money. very disturbing
^ i know.. makes me sick yeah
its even worst when ur parents dont say any of that haha no its actually good..
guys parents only want some chitti kukri who looks pleasant when taken out and the gals parents just care bout the money.. i see it happening here in melbourne and back home.. its a disgrace
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sadiyah: *
Behnon, you all seem so perturbed parents concerned about the guy's education and his capability to earn money.
I've heard how many larki kay parents say: 'larka kamata hona chaheye hai, shakal chahay jaisi bhee ho'.
That comment really disturbed me. Larkay kay parents go out on a hunt to find him a hoor pari, while larki kay parents don't even care about how a guy looks so long as he can make money. very disturbing
[/QUOTE]
yes, it's very disgusting
Hey! Some of us non-lookers depend on that attitude 
Why do you think we studied so hard and tried to get the good jobs 
If more people thought like that I might end up having to … diet to lose the huge tummy or something 
sara516, not exactly disgusting, but certainly very upsetting.
sadzzz, unfortunately, it happens everywhere. It's becoming common by the day.
mAd_ScIeNtIsT, masha'Allah aap to khush shakal hain, hence, no worries for you.
Don't worry about the tummy. Just make sure when you're looking to get married you give an equal chance to girls with tummy or that you don't ever criticize your wife later on for not losing weight and staying in shape for you.
But then, what if a girl is ugly??? 
^ calling soemone ugly is shallow :)
physical attraction does play a huge roll in liking somenoe, but personally i think a person should give the personality a go first.. most of the time people just look at the appearance and reject..
if only people for once started to look at the personality (the morals, values and mentality of the person) life would be oh so great...