i was talkin bout myself 
even then… u should just be thankful that u r ok and healthy 
the day u start appreciating and respecting urself (both inside and out), u’ll start enjoying life
If he wants that babe with the long hair, almond eyes, curvy body, pouty lips (whatever the hell else you folks demand), then be ready to dish out that dough.
^ thats soo me 
in the more short compact form though
I just laughed so hard at that addendum that I nearly spewed out diet pepsi through my nose!!!
^ my good deed for the day.. im so happy :) hehe
hmmm...from what i have seen abt desi society most parents are not okay with marrying off their daughter to someone who does not have a steady income and is not somewhat steady/established in life or atleast on the path of achieving that. from my observation, for guys usually his profession and income is one of the major criteria in shaadis in our society, unless he is from the landowning or industry owning class in which case he will be busy looking after his lands/industries i guess or unless he's from the family.
^ i guess it depends where ur living haina or the way you’ve been brought up..
my parents have always been super-dooper strong bout education. They really couldnt careless bout anything else… even with my bros fiance.. they are still trying to motivate the lass to keep at her studies.. if she moves here, Inshallah, she’ll be bored out of her brains watching dish all day
i guess it also depends on what situation ur immediate family is in. Ie family back in pakistan are all over the place. I know my relos who are in business and stuff, for their sons, they are only looking for some educated rich hoor parri.. while their daughters are getting professional degrees and learning how to make excellent chicken karhai.. obviously the education is jsut for show.. but they require tip top businessmen for them..
whereas, the relatives who are working.. they require simple girls for their educated sons.. and just bout anyone for their educated. professional daughters
it really is sad.. lekin it entirely depends on the mentality i guess.. sigh
Ok here is some valuable input for some of you.
For guys: If you are going for an arranged marriage, don't knock on the girl's door without getting a decent job first. There are a few exceptions however...Larki's father knows your family, you belong to financially stable family, the girl is just crazy about your looks and she will take care of her family. waghaira waghaira...
The equation Good job = pretty girl is true but I believe the equation doesn't guarantee a successful marriage in imho.
For girls: As for how important a job is for the guy at the time of marriage...It is important but it should not be the deciding factor. You should look at the guy's education, potential and willingness to grow.
An educated, family oriented guy without a job is much better for any girl than a playboy with a job and no sense of responsibility.
There is a big misconception that if the girl makes more money then the guy would be intimidated. It's all about the attitude. Normally girls who are financially stable don't play their cards right...
Don't hurt your man's ego and your family will survive...No decent guy would want his wife's education to go to waste...money coming in is a plus for any household. Things are different if you bring kids in the equation..then it is upto you how you set your priorities in life. It works for most couples who address these issues prior to 'I do'.
i have noticed this new trend, guys want wives that work n r making money..i dont think our dads looked for women that were working
interesting.. very interesting.. well i have tried to ask my parents permission to get married to someone but the arguement they gave me was... "Pehlay parhai khatam phir job phir shaadi" .. which is odd.. considering my bro got engaged (to a cousin) when he just graduated WITHOUT A JOB.. still they say kay woh apni family ki hi hai.. makes me smack my head somewhere..
sigh.. i have also started my won little software business.. got a few small contracts (i am yet to finish my undergrad) and i am really looking forward to my own business after i graduate.. doesn't mean i would be earning $50k right after i graduate but i will be earning enough to start off ..and inshaAllah one day will reach those goals of mine but that is no reason to no marry!
i don't knw.. i just .. i am ...:(
Ansoon, don't feel bad. You're not the only one. I can feel your pain. :(
Don't feel bad kids...Consider yourself divorced...make a better choice this time. No rush.
Faz, that was really good advice.
I understand why guys think they need to have a job prior to getting married.. its sort of like gives them stability at least and be content that they are a good candidate for the marriage position… its like for some of us girls.. we think as long as we can make a good chicken pulao or briyani, we are all set :k:
Hmm Missy yes I do think its important.I mean uh I dont know what a couple would do if they didnt have a job before all the shaadi waadi.I told my parents I dont even want all the fuss about an engagement before Im a bit settled.I think its a pride thing- guys want to earn more.
^ hmm i dont think its got anything to do with earning more.. maybe i dunno. As i said in the previous post, i think it just gived them hossla that they are good...
Guys having an issue with their wives earning more may not be the case with most of the guys, but I'm sure that it must be the case with some at least.
I feel some may not even admit to it, but deep down they will feel it to an extent.
Job is very much important....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sara516: *
yes, it's very disgusting
[/QUOTE]
Dear Sara, Its understanable that you are thinking from the point of view of a girl, buthonestly speaking in ourr society does any body live a decent life with out having a job? and how long a person can live with just beauty?
^ i think her "disgusting" comment was in reference to "larkay ke parents wanting a hoor pari and larki ke parents not even caring bout anything bout kamai"
lekin yes, i see ur point ke in this day and age it is tad bit hard to be living without income.. khair, Allah Mian knows best. Ive seen many families whilst growing up where the couples werent working.. it does get hard, lekin mashallah they are all doing quite well now..
Re: Job is very much important....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by stranger_x2003: *
speaking in ourr society does any body live a decent life with out having a job? and how long a person can live with just beauty?
[/QUOTE]
Precisely!
Now the men and their mothers should stop looking for hoor paris and should only go for the girl's character.