Is it really strange or unusual for couples to do things separately?
If the husbnad or wife isn’t social by nature, is it odd for the other to go to events alone/with friends (well anyone but teh spouse)?
My husband and I are like that. We go out together and we spend time together…but he’s just not into hanging out with other couples or going to weddings/parties etc. He’s always been like that. However he doesn’t force me to not meet people either, and he is perfectly okay with me going anywhere at all.
It’s taken some time but I’m content with the way things are. I remember earlier on though wheN I wanted him to accompany me to ppls houses and stuff…which he did..but a few bad experiences made me realize it wasn’t right to force him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.
But some of those times whenever I would meet people alone they were kinda weird about it, I wouldn’t say they were deliberately being rude but they acted in such a way that i felt very unwelcome and now I completely avoid those kind of people. and there were still others who said I should “change him.” (Um I don’t necessarily agree with that but ok).
So yeah that’s been my experience! I have nothing against couples who do everything together but I certainly didn’t appreciate comments about my husbands absence…Is it really that bad???
It's not wierd at all. I think as your commitments increase, its had to go everywhere together.
My hubby prefers to have me with him at dinners and events but I can't be in two places at once and there are places I rather just skip. He's eased up on taking me everywhere.
I don't like to go to davats by myself. It's kinda boring.
I hate watching movies by myself. It's very boring.
The only thing I prefer to do alone is shopping :@:
But there's nothing weird either way I suppose. Whatever works in your home.
Okay i actually haven’t been to any formal “davats” per se alone…but I went to relatives houses with my parents..(surprisingly that was the biggest issue..go figure) and one of my friends throws parties every few months where coupels are invited (but its always segregated with the dudes in one area–I know my husband would NOT want to spend his evening looking at other dudes’ faces )
I think every couple should do what makes them happy and what works for them you know?
just wondering but does he ask you to go with him to his parents house for functions or for visits or an office party or does he prefer to go by himself?
i personally would feel weird about it b/c it would be hard to see other couples and sometimes some of the men seem so easy going, like whatever the wife says is alright with them. not saying men should be like that.
it's great that you have no issues with that Sara, i guess you make a great couple since you get along so well, it's obvious you love each other immensely
wherever we are invited as family, we go together no matter if its her friend or my friend. So its either both of us or none. Now if its a sort of function where only she is invited (like mehndi, melad etc) or only I am invited than its a different matter...
If not a formal dawat, I don't see anything strange about it. The only time we'll go without the other is if it's that type of gathering. Many times my wife goes to gatherings where only women are invited and sometimes I'll go to gatherings where only men I'll invited. Aside from those, we'll pretty much go to any party together.
hubby almost never goes out for social gathering without me. If it's mehndi parties or female related gathering then I go with my mom usually. Most of our friends are mutual so we usually either go out to their house or go out for coffee. I prefer to go with him just because I tend to enjoy more this way.
my husband and I do many things on our own. I don't particularly like going to big gatherings to meet people I barely know but he loves it so he just goes on his own. I don't see what the big deal is, similarly I don't force him to do anything which I know he wouldn't be happy with. Whats the point of the other person being miserable and bored just because you're 'supposed' to go as a couple.
A lot of people are always bugging me about how me and my husband don't have any couple friends, I don't see the sense in this, if my husband has a friend why should I have to befriend his friends wife just so we can have couple friends. It seems kinda silly to have to force your SO to like the SO of your friend. I mean sometimes you get away with it if you can stand the person but other times you could really dislike the person too. I think if you're lucky enough to find a couple who both people get along with well then thats great, but until that happens I think it makes sense to have your own separate friends.
Is it really strange or unusual for couples to do things separately?
If the husbnad or wife isn't social by nature, is it odd for the other to go to events alone/with friends (well anyone but teh spouse)?
My husband and I are like that. We go out together and we spend time together...but he's just not into hanging out with other couples or going to weddings/parties etc. He's always been like that. However he doesn't force me to not meet people either, and he is perfectly okay with me going anywhere at all.
It's taken some time but I'm content with the way things are. I remember earlier on though wheN I wanted him to accompany me to ppls houses and stuff...which he did..but a few bad experiences made me realize it wasn't right to force him to do something he wasn't comfortable with.
But some of those times whenever I would meet people alone they were kinda weird about it, I wouldn't say they were deliberately being rude but they acted in such a way that i felt very unwelcome and now I completely avoid those kind of people. and there were still others who said I should "change him." (Um I don't necessarily agree with that but ok).
So yeah that's been my experience! I have nothing against couples who do everything together but I certainly didn't appreciate comments about my husbands absence......Is it really that bad???
no its not strange nor its bad to do different things. since everybody has their own way of doing things.
Most of the time we go together if we are invited to a couples party but if my husband is on call and he has to stay for work then he wants me to go so kids and I can have fun. Although I don't wanna go but hubs tell me whats the point I am working and you and kids will get bore. If he doesn't like the people then either we go or not go.Usually we go together. Its just the work issues sometimes come in my way. For example on chand raat we were all invited but hubster was stuck in work and he said he will come home late and he wanted me to attend that party because kids need mehndi and there was lot of activity for kids. So I went and I thank GOD I went otherwise I would have been bored waiting for husband doing nothing.He came late in the party so it was all fine. Or sometimes its double party you cannot go to two parties at a same time so in one I went with daughter and hubs went with son.:)
Enough of me going alone to all parties. Once married, he must need to accompany me
I will introduce him to my bestestest friends (which are very few) and try my hubby and friends become friends too. When we have common friends in our circle, we wont have such probs. like you go, i dont want to etc.
Waise tou I am not much of social butterfly but since i have bought so so so many sarees to wear after my wedding that i think I need to attend every choti bari dawat just for the sake of wearing my sarees one by one
Well I don't think there is anything wrong with it. In fact, I reckon it is kind of stupid to expect the man and wife to be together all the time. They both have their own lives as well, and if there is some activity that one of them enjoys while the other doesn't, it is perhaps better for the person to go alone instead of dragging their partner along against their will. Like the man could be out swimming while the lady is hanging out with her friends. Better yet, the man could be laying back playing his playstation while the lady is visiting her family. A perfectly perfect arrangement.
I think whatever works- ther eis no need to be joined at the hip all the time just cos you're married. you are still 2 separate people.
Me and hubby tend to attend things separately/alone if needed or if one of us isn;t in the mood to go- this isnt regular but not a big deal if it happens.
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