Is it strange?

soni27 · February 15, 2011, 11:52am

Re: Is it strange?

he doesnt go anywhere with you where usually couples are expected to go together ? .. thats the strangest weirdest thing iv ever heard ! ..

Sara516 · February 15, 2011, 2:21pm

Re: Is it strange?

Then maybe you shoudl get out more. :)

Tklucky8 · February 15, 2011, 8:02pm

Re: Is it strange?

I kinda know what you mean when you say that people treat you differently. My hubby is also not such a social butterfly and belongs to a smaller family, where as I am from a huge family, where every weekend its some kids birthday, some wedding or just a get together. In the beginning I also bugged hubby to go with me everywhere, he used to get annoyed and also i would end up missing events. Its just that people are weird that if you don't show up with your hubby they will wonder why, it has to be something bad, it can't be that the hubby is busy or he has something else to do. I went to couple eid dawats alone, and it was our first eid after being married and hubby was caught up at work, i did had to answer so many where is he, its eid, its your first eid Blah Blah .. It does get annoying and really makes you not want to go to those places. I think its just our stupid desi mentality.

webmister · February 15, 2011, 11:30pm

Re: Is it strange?

It sounds a bit strange but at the same time it looks like you two have respect for each others choices and way of life, something lacking in most couples who accompany each other everywhere becoz at-least one of them is not doing it on his free will. And thats the essence of married life.

Sara516 · February 16, 2011, 12:22am

Re: Is it strange?

Tklucky8:

I kinda know what you mean when you say that people treat you differently. My hubby is also not such a social butterfly and belongs to a smaller family, where as I am from a huge family, where every weekend its some kids birthday, some wedding or just a get together. In the beginning I also bugged hubby to go with me everywhere, he used to get annoyed and also i would end up missing events. Its just that people are weird that if you don’t show up with your hubby they will wonder why, it has to be something bad, it can’t be that the hubby is busy or he has something else to do. I went to couple eid dawats alone, and it was our first eid after being married and hubby was caught up at work, i did had to answer so many where is he, its eid, its your first eid Blah Blah .. It does get annoying and really makes you not want to go to those places. I think its just our stupid desi mentality.

Tell me about it! :hinna: the “firsts” were kinda difficult to deal with…to his credit he did go along with me a few times but they were in such a way that it just would have been better if I didn’t force him…its just not fair to drag someone u know?

Well, no, i don’t think that couples who go everywhere are lacking something–to be honest, if my husband was that type (or I’d married someone of that type), then I would probably be the same..and I wouldn’t find it an issue to go anyuwhere with him.

girl_on_ice · February 16, 2011, 4:40am

Re: Is it strange?

MY hubby is a man’s man…yaaron ka yaar…!!
so i attend,and have been doing for many years,all the family social gatherings alone and with kids..hall segregation also meant just entering and leaving together.sometimes it would be nice if he came but it isnt his scene so why make life complicated..first it was job commitment that made him miss the parties now its habit..now i would find it hard catering to him and the family at the same time
but we go for dinners ,holidays together..
and I love shopping alone…me time..

candy_apple · February 17, 2011, 1:48am

Re: Is it strange?

I think he should try to go as much as he can FOR YOU because he is your husband. If once in a while he is just tired or doesn't feel like it, as long as it is not a big party or formal davat, I suppose it is ok. I don't think he should make a habbit of it though. Once you are married, you go to davats and get togethers as a couple. The only time you go alone is if you are hanging out with just the girls or he is going out with just the boys....but even this tends to get less and less once people get married. Just my 2 cents.

Reha · February 17, 2011, 3:10am

Re: Is it strange?

I think its good to have some space so if I were in that situation, I wouldnt care much. Ive been asked when I was married...answered and moved on. No use dwelling on such things or making a fuss where there isnt one.

I also have a friend who handles it all pretty well. Her husband is really nice but not a social butterfly whereas she is. She will attend all events and gatherings; sometimes he is there and sometimes he isnt. She doesnt make a big deal of it and when someone asks her, explains it very easily. He was watching a game and its no use dragging him to parties he wont have fun in or not know anyone. I agree with her.

Hassan007 · February 18, 2011, 4:30am

Re: Is it strange?

Well Sara, every fella is different obviously. Everybody has different personality and some fellas are social and other aren't that much. However, i like to say about myself that...i tend to be very social and i enjoy family gatherings..going out with friends and inviting new friends to my circle. I want my wife to be very social though. As much as i have a busy life..i like to enjoy my life too. Like couple of weeks ago..i took salsa classes with one of my Turkish friend. So yes, i believe life would be too boring if my wife to be turned out not social.