Muzna, I would be more than happy to be the bread winner and expect a hot meal ready for me when I am back home from job each day.
:queen:
eugh i would never want my doctor husband to stay home and cook. Get ur ass out there, work, and bring me the dough.
This wasn’t about what would make you happy sweety. It’s about what your parents feel is right or those that are arranging the rishta. If you come from a family where your mother and father feel it’s totally okay that your future husband has no job and aspires to be a house-husband, would they be cool with the rishta?
If this was about what we think is important then we would be talking about the guy and gal having a conversation. Not the rishtay ki maasiyan or khaala-jaans coming over to see the larki.
faizy,
no need to apologize yaar. I totally understand. I was just trying to show how petty this issue can be in the grand scheme of things.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
I probably would. Job has a higher priority on my list than getting hitched to a paindu who wants a wife who can toil in kitchen just so his life is easier.
Muzna, I would be more than happy to be the bread winner and expect a hot meal ready for me when I am back home from job each day
[/QUOTE]
it seems as if uve grown up in an environment where cooking or maybe being a housewife is looked down on or thought to be a menial job???
anyone can do a 9-5 job... but only some women can do the housewife/mother/cook/nurturing of kids right... and no matter how broadminded ure husband is ... there will come a day when he will just want a wife.. someone to take care of the home.. teh kids... him... if u think this is beneath you.. ure denying ureself something natural.. and so fulfilling.. :)
p.s) its ok for u to expect a hot meal after a hard day's work.. but not ure hubby? does that make u a paindu?
This is so well said that it demands repeating.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by khawateen: *
it seems as if uve grown up in an environment where cooking or maybe being a housewife is looked down on or thought to be a menial job???
anyone can do a 9-5 job... but only some women can do the housewife/mother/cook/nurturing of kids right... and no matter how broadminded ure husband is ... there will come a day when he will just want a wife.. someone to take care of the home.. teh kids... him... if u think this is beneath you.. ure denying ureself something natural.. and so fulfilling.. :)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~: *
you mean be retarded?
[/QUOTE]
i meant in terms of looks.....patlee, gori, etc.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by khawateen: *
it seems as if uve grown up in an environment where cooking or maybe being a housewife is looked down on or thought to be a menial job???
anyone can do a 9-5 job... but only some women can do the housewife/mother/cook/nurturing of kids right... and no matter how broadminded ure husband is ... there will come a day when he will just want a wife.. someone to take care of the home.. teh kids... him... if u think this is beneath you.. ure denying ureself something natural.. and so fulfilling.. :)
p.s) its ok for u to expect a hot meal after a hard day's work.. but not ure hubby? does that make u a paindu?
[/QUOTE]
I suppose you can say the natural inclination in general is for the woman to take on such tasks. But I have seen fathers do them -- and do them well. I wouldn't generalize.
Staying home with the kids and also doing housework, whatever, is not to be looked down on. But it's not for everyone -- and not everyone's ready for it right away.
I have never asked a woman if she knows how to cook. It is low down on my priority list. I narrow down with the following statement.
I don’t like obnoxious, loud, bitchy, idiotic, bollywood, dreamy, illiterate, fanatic, lazy, snobbish, arrogant, airhead, irrational, inhibited women. If you have none of the aforementioned traits, then maybe we can talk. 
No wonder cooking has never been an issue for me…I get a boot long before that 
Fayz I dont like those type of women either!
Nobody does..but you will surprised the characteristics are quite common. Aap mein bhi hain do teen...run
running after Fayz with a joota
ok I can be arrogant ,and maybe a bit lazy.Ok seriously some people are impossible to get along with.However, what can I say- men can be complete idiots at times.
ub khabardaar mujhe kuch bola tau.:o
Fayz, I don’t know but my guess is that you are not married. Bhaijan, these qualities that have listed are found in all women. Go for the one who cooks better (or can cook at the least).
Conclusion:
It really IS that important!
:-/
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sahar02: *
I suppose you can say the natural inclination in general is for the woman to take on such tasks. But I have seen fathers do them -- and do them well. I wouldn't generalize.
]yes.. my father does all those things too..but not 24/7.... just cuz he's helping around in the household chores doesnt suddenly mean the equation has changed and its now the men who run the house.... if the man helps.. its only a bonus..
Staying home with the kids and also doing housework, whatever, is not to be looked down on. But it's not for everyone -- and not everyone's ready for it right away.
[/QUOTE]
ermm.. isnt that exactly what ive said already?
If I am a man and have the choose between two girls, both of the same qualifications, one that can cook and one that cant, I would choose the first one, men think with their stomachs. IF they are feed, they are like tamed lions.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by khawateen: *
ermm.. isnt that exactly what ive said already?
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps I misread.
I think there are some men who do do it 24/7. They are rare, but it is possible.
Talking about cooking, nothing is more annoying than when a guy thinks he can cook better than me. I say, if you wanna cook, go ahead and cook. If you want me to cook, let me, i.e. get out of my way! Wanna help? Wash up. It's that simple.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sahar02: *
Perhaps I misread.
I think there are some men who do do it 24/7. They are rare, but it is possible.
[/QUOTE]
hehe... stay at home dads... very rare indeed... DESI stay at home dads... almost unheard of... :D
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by khawateen: *
anyone can do a 9-5 job... but only some women can do the housewife/mother/cook/nurturing of kids right... and no matter how broadminded ure husband is ... there will come a day when he will just want a wife.. someone to take care of the home.. teh kids... him... if u think this is beneath you.. ure denying ureself something natural.. and so fulfilling.. :)
p.s) its ok for u to expect a hot meal after a hard day's work.. but not ure hubby? does that make u a paindu?
[/QUOTE]
whoa whoa whao, isn't the exact opposite the truth? What you think is the ratio of housewives to working women/women who juggle both? I think the nurturing kids part is natural and fulfilling, I don't see cooking or cleaning as natural and fulfilling in anyway. A woman had to do it(in the past) coz man was the primary breadwinner, now that a woman is working too..I think the responsibilities are shared.
I would be expecting a hot meal not always honey, well I don't fancy a man who wants his woman to sit at home and neither do I like the idea of a man sitting at home( that was ofcourse me kidding up there). I have stated this on gs a thousand times..shared responsibilities on every front of life. That is the ideal scenario for me. I don't blame you, many people(desis) of your generation have a problem fathoming suchan "outrageous" feminist outlook towards life, but oh well times are changing and for good. Most people brought up in a society which has hard and fast rules and defined territories for each sex, it is really hard to accept something which is obviously fairer than the outlined rules, but out of place and different. It's inculcated in them if not verbally then visually that a woman is destined to stay at home no matter what, and the effects show up even in the most educated of the people, one can't really erase such strong influences that easily.
P.S: If the husband is broadminded in the true sense and isn't just pretending, he won't expect of his wife( who works an outside job like himself) to tackle the kids and home alone. That wouldn't be fair actually.
Muzna: Yeah, the concept of a stay at home hubby won't go down well with the parents or rishta maasis and even with me. But where did rishta ppl come into the scene? Wasn't this about a guy's choice for his future bride? (I didn't actually read the original post by shinooo)