Only on Saturday nights. 
What i dont understand is, how we are so quick to say we will die for islam, or we will never convert, we are muslims this and that, and we are quick to get our cricket bats out if any nonmuslim says anything offensivewe are the first to yell and show our fists, yet do we know why we love islam, we know next to nothing ( most of us) about islam, we justify what we want to do, even if its haraam, we know allah is watching us and our every move, we do not feel ashamed dating/smoking/drinking etc etc, we do almost next to nothing islam requires, but why are we too scared to call ourselves non-muslim then? oh i know, because somewhere in our selfish heads we think we can do whatever we want, as long as are muslim ( by name) and we will go to heaven anyway, eventually, or we canrepent` when we turn 50....!
Re: Is it REALLY that hard???
Also i do find it odd how muslims are so non-practisiing, yet we find everything offensive....we should care less right?
another thing, if i did tell my cousin or friends not to speed theyll get a ticket, or worse die, theyl listen to me. and thank me for the advice, yet if i tell them that not wearing a hijab is haram and it could mean they may not go to janaat,(only allah know,) theyl roll their eyes and give 101 reasons why they dont wear it.
Oh no you didn’t 
hehe but it is though…I think
I agree with you. The focuses are alllllll wrong these days and seem to be on petty issues when looking at a bigger picture.
Adultery is wrong though, isnt it? Yet people use love to justify it or that their spouse doesnt pay attention to them so they had no choice. Its STILL haram and punishable in the eyes of Allah, isnt it?
My point is simply this much: I think people know what is right and wrong...yet choose to either ignore it or use Islam to justify it and as a result...twist the rules for NOT ONLY themselves but others as well.
LOL...I KNOW women are not allowed to travel alone.
Do you think the part about missing rozas also applie to the four wives rule?
yes adultery is wrong, its black and white. not everything is. I was talking more about the punishment for adultery where people talk about stoning, some talk about lashes etc ...
I think that there is something called ijtehad for a reason, why it was abandoned is beyond me. There are certain clear rules that can not be broken, there are other things that are situational and need to be assessed. a 'recommendation' against women traveling alone in wild lawless arabia is not the same as someone going to the corner coffeee shop, but in saudi arabia thats how they interpret it.
I think the 4 marriages thing is in general abused, and there are specific conditions that need to be reviewed, but 4 marriages is minor compared to things like muttah and misyar which really make me confused.
in terms of people saying something is allowed when its not and promoting it, yeah its dodgy, but they are seen as the bad guys..but the guys who are forcing stuff which is not required they are not called out on the same, and we have seen impact of that..shutting down coeducation , shutting down girls schools, forcing women to be in shuttlecock burqas...in places like pre war afghanistan, not allowing women to drive, not allowing people to set up their places of worship, muttawas whipping ppl who are not going for prayers (not sure how much it happens now but used to happen in the 80s) in saudi arabia.
So I am not for diluting the faith, and I am not for mixing more in it and saying well this is pure. consider both as guilty
and questioning generally held beliefs which are based on anecdotes is completely logical, it does not make one less of a muslim. Otherwise women will never be able to drive in KSA because they have based their view on what is allowed on something which is anecdotal and is not meant to apply for all places for all times, a sane person would think about it and what was being indicated i.e. be careful in circumstances which are dangerous and decrease the probability of harm, not that somoene cant hop on the tube and go to uni
I think clearing up misconceptions for non-muslims is a duty. For instance, many non-muslims think the four wives concept in Islam is to satisfy a man's sexual desires and as a result turns a woman into a piece of meat. NOT true. They think hijab is to suppress a woman and limit her freedom. NOT true. As a Muslim, putting your absolute BEST foot forward is important when dealing with non-muslims and that in itself clears up quite a bit. By the same token, Islam has also taught us not to develop opinions in haste which we tend to do when it comes to fellow Muslims.
However, being judgemental (not to imply you are Spiral, you're far from it) as many desi Muslims are...is wrong. Dont you think? Imparting knowledge is one thing but labeling someone as bad is another entirely.
I really do believe people know innately when they are doing something wrong...I do...why wouldnt anyone else? It feels wrong. You feel a slight pang of guilt. But to justify that to others by saying its okay...Islam isnt that strict...is not right. My point is about mucking up our boundaries and making it so our future generations will be completely lost about right and wrong. I was thinking about my kids (when I have any, Inshallah) and I dont know what I will tell them anymore. I mean, as Muslims are we where we need to be? They will see people justifying dating, alcohol and such...and get influenced...no?
Believe it or not, I think exactly like this. What I say today is what my kids will learn. If I say Islam does not require women to cover (I am not a hijabi btw), that's the knowledge my kids will get. I know its something I don't do but I definitely say its wrong and I respect hijabis. I have friends, Muslims, even cousins who have married non-Muslim that doesn't mean I will stop talking to them. I know that they are mature enough to understand their actions but its between them and Allah.
I think clearing and misconception is our duty as Muslims (I am not perfect either), but I don't like imposing things on others. Someone comes up to me and say alcohol is allowed in Islam, it'll definitely say its not and maybe provide some proofs but if they still want to drink it sure, its upto them.
I think there's a distinction to be made between being judgmental and imposing your views on others as opposed to doing your duty as a Muslim and taking action when you see something Islamically wrong.
As Muslims, we're actually supposed to step in and stop a wrong. The next best thing is to speak up against it. After that, you are at the very least supposed to recognize in your heart that what's being done is wrong (though I believe this is the weakest form of iman). Someone correct me if I have any of this wrong.
That said, there is a proper way to do all of this. You're at a party and the topic has turned to how X is such a horrible person and did ABC. It's gheebat. It's wrong. Now the judgmental, sanctimonious way to deal with this is to loudly proclaim "oh my God. What is WRONG with you all? You'll all go to hell for talking about X in this way." This will not only displease the people at the gathering, it's not winning points with Allah SWT either because we're supposed to be courteous and tactful as Muslims...and that response clearly lacked anything resembling manners. A better way might be to say in a normal, calm tone "Hey let's not talk about X since he isn't here. I heard you found a new job. How's that going?" If, after that, people are still trashing X's reputation...well you did your part. All you can do at this point is to not partake in the gossip.
And to this, I'd also add that if someone is trying to tactfully convey that a certain course of action may not be wise, the eye rolls and dramatic sighs and "oh come on...everybody else is doing it. There's no harm" have got to stop. If you don't agree, that's fine. It's between you and Allah. But all that person is trying to do is fulfill his duty as a good Muslim. Accept the advise with a graceful "thanks. I'll keep that in mind" and carry on.
And if the manner in which the advice is conveyed completely lacks any semblance of tact...well then do what you have to do to politely extricate yourself from the situation.
^Agree with Mistral. There is the hadith that if you see something wrong taking place..you try to stop it with your hands........if you can't do that then stop it with your words.....if you can't even do that then disapprove of it in your heart......which is the weakest level of iman.
It depends upon how you use words. Imposing upon the other person...judging them...looking down on them....obviously won't be effective. But you can guide using tact...gentleness...subtlety. You can send a message or guide someone in simple ways such as.............changing the subject........redirection/suggestion of another more positive activity........praise when you see the person doing something right. You don't even have to open your mouth...sometimes a person may be inspired just be watching the way ANOTHER person conducts themselves.
Personally I've been offended by people trying to preach to me...because their method lacked tact (even though their intentions may be in the right place). At the same time, I've felt inspired by suggestions worded in a positive/tactful way. And even if I choose NOT to follow the advice.....I don't get offended at the person for suggesting it....because their manner wasn't offensive. Guidance need not take a preachy or judgmental or pushy tone. The one attempting the guidance, however, needs to realize that in the end the individual will do whatever they want to do. Most people find it more comfortable guiding someone that they have more rapport with.
Also, the Quran says with respect to the Prophet SAWS: "And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them kindly. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have certainly broken away from you..." (3-159).
^Depending upon the manner, one can either inspire or turn off the other person with guidance.
I agree with you. Just because you think something is okay for you personally, doesn’t mean you need to justify it in terms of religion. Who even said it is halal anyway? People are smart enough to know that it’s not.
Can I just say, morals are not synonymous with religion. Why do Muslims always think that if someone does something unislamic, e.g. drinks alcohol, then they are automatically immoral?
are they? I think there is a small set of rules which is clear. there are others that are based on hearsay and opinions. I am not cool with turning black or white into gray but not cool with turning gray or absent into black or white
while the intentions of some may be right, their opinions and views do not become divine law and should not be treated that way.
example I use are things like is lobster or crab allowed, then u quickly would get into schools of thought...not very clear
then we have statements like stoning as punishment for adultery, but is it? where?
there are many gray areas
So true, there are many grey areas. And actually, there are many areas I don't agree with because they don't seem relevant or fair. All this about 2 female witnesses being equal to one male, females getting less inheritance than their brothers, men having four wives, stoning someone for their crimes....seriously. How can people with half a brain justify this? Fact is, there are things in our religion that are not black in white. It's not a manual, it's a moral code on how to live your life.
There are times when you impart knowledge and people take it in the wrong way and say you have a "holier than thou" attitude.
There is a reason for this. Because usually, you are not imparting new information. They know what you are telling them already, that is why it comes across as 'holier than thou'.
I think I need to stop coming on this forum. It has made me remember how narrow minded and judgemental our people are.
I think the 4 marriages thing is in general abused, and there are specific conditions that need to be reviewed, but 4 marriages is minor compared to things like muttah and misyar which really make me confused.
Wow, thanks for enlightening me on these two issues. I know it existed in Shiahs, but Sunnis too!? How strange! Seems like the worst kind of abuse of females to me. Sleep with them, but don't give them any rights at all. Worst than dating I think.
Wow, thanks for enlightening me on these two issues. I know it existed in Shiahs, but Sunnis too!? How strange! Seems like the worst kind of abuse of females to me. Sleep with them, but don't give them any rights at all. Worst than dating I think.
NO!!!!!!!!!
its not an abuse. Its a very secure and logical way to have you needs met.
Its like having a GF with out F--in-around.
Thats how its done.
You decide up front how long you two want to stay.
Guy is responsible to protect and provide shelter.
If the get pregnant child get share from property.
Serioiusly what is wrong there????????????????????????????
how many western women get that security while dating ?????????????????????
Re: Is it REALLY that hard???
shairah compliant girl friend :)
Re: Is it REALLY that hard???
Shria allows "the thing", doesn't it?
Thats way we all here.
Yes it is all haraam. The question is why do people care so much what everybody else is doing.
The problem with Muslims is that they concentrate too much on the materialistic things in life, or the issues that cause controversy to make themselves feel better. They forget that Islam is between a Muslim and Allah that is it. Nobody else has the right to get in between and tell a Muslim what he can or can not do.
Exactly.
When u fall in love with the world around you, then yes it really is that hard.
Why else do you think “controlling our nafs” is emphasised upon so much by Prophet Mohammad saw.
When our nafs starts controlling us… thats when it gets hard … thats when we feel the need to justify our actions that clearly go against the Quran.
If that isn’t the case and if I think more about the hereafter than I do about the worldly pleasures then it really is a simple religion to follow.
Conversation between a materialistic muslim and a random non-muslim:
Non-muslim: I heard you guys can’t have girlfriends?
Materialistic Muslim: Thats not true. WE CAN!! 
Nowhere does it say in the Quran that its haram to have girlfriends! Sex is but not girlfriends. I’ve had THREE so far… THREE! 
Conversation between a sincere muslim and a random non-muslim:
Non-muslim: I heard you guys can’t have girlfriends?
Sincere Muslim: You heard right 
hehe but it is though....I think
Perfume is not preferred for muslim women IN PUBLIC because it attracts attention towards them... In the same way, makeup isn't something I'd wear before going infront of Prophet Mohammad saw as he would immediately disapprove of it and tell me to go wash my boothi.