Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
I will do one better ashtray. I am living proof of being raised by relatives other than my mom while she was getting her masters and PHD soon after the my birth and my sisters. SHe propelled my sister and myself for higher achievement because she demanded the same from herself. going to school or working doesn;t mean the bond between a mother and child lessens or weakens. What perspective can a woman giv eher child having never held a job or fulfilled her aspirations educationally around the same? Mothers serve as role models too..especially for daughters. Having accomplished their dreams be they education or career or both..they can give the best advice. CHOICE. Not having the educational pedigree...doesn;t offer you that.
Parenting doesn;t begin or stop at 1 year or 2 years or 3...it goes on for the rest of your life.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
So you think you dont know your pashtune husband? This is an opinion board, make love your war, what happened to your IRA upbringinging (inging intentional as in ratatatat of an automatic gun).
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Ashtray - lol, I would never presume to speak for him, he is opinionated enough without my words. I speak for myself only, sorry to disappoint. IRA was useful in the 70's now are just a group of terrorists bombing indescriminately (sp?).
I have to wonder, did I disappoint you so much earlier by not arguing so now you are searching for an angle? I'm sorry about that, tired today due to taking care of a 40+ yr old man with a minor head cold acting as though the world is ending.
Like I said, it is her marriage. We can argue it was wrong the way it happened and what she should and should not do and what affect and effect on the baby and on and on and on, but in the end ------------ it all comes down to that woman and that man actually having a mature conversation on what they expect from each other and the marriage.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
so complicated, yet so simple. She's married, married life comes with such hang ups, one must and has to learn how to cope. It's a bit too late for backing down now, she should have said no when she had her chance, thats why they ask 3 times isn't it?
Ask for your original question Nilu, i think it really is so...
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
They probably told her they were “just going on holiday”, and locked her up in the cow shed until she consented. Believe me it happens.
In that sort of situation you would consent to anything just to get out of the alien country in which you dont know anything about.
Maybe she now wants to better herself, seeing as she has a baby to think of too?
Whose gonna feed it? Whose gonna invest in his/her future? Put them through college?
Maybe shes fed up of being given handouts and wants to provide for him/her herself seeing as his/her father is currently incapable of doing this.
Maybe her sister in law is giving her a hard time and she wants out?
There is a thing called Majboori.
I do agree that a mother should try and be with the child as much as she can in the formative years, but not all are that lucky.
On the whole in alot of cases it is a lack of understanding and a lack of respect for each other which blow small issues up.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Hi pplz thnx for ur comments here. Like i told her husband is still in Pakistan so he can't take care of the child but my friend live's with her sis in law so i think she can look at him for a while. Minah i never said to her what she has to do or do not and i know we talkin'about a marriage here. I also said to her that she never shud say to her hubby that if u refuse that i cant have a job or go to school you can forget that you come to Uk. And she replies what else i suppose to say to him. I feel so sorry for her i think its better if she talk with her hubby about this.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Matsui, I really dont know the true reasons for your mother's decision so it is hard for me to comment. Maybe it is not her it is you. Seriously though if her decision was based on showing her childern and others that she is a doctor then, I am sorry to say, it was a purely selfish decision. then again she was confident that you will get the same love out of your guardians as she would have given you and if it was any less then she would have dropped her studies, like i said I dont know. Tell me would she have threatened to leave your father if she was not allowed to study? In Sobia's case she is.
Mere bhai, now that I know of your sorry childhood I regret abusing you on this site, please forgive me.
Now that we are taking our own family's sahara, to prove our point of views, let me give my own mother's example I have mentioned this earlier under my previous nick. My mother was involved in social work from her college days and at the time of her marriage was well known for her work in women welfare arena. She admits that her enthusiasm was part for the good for people and part vanity. She thinks she made the toughest decision of her life when she gave up her work when my sister was born. She refrained from active participation till we were all in colleges. Statistics show that she made a good decision, 3 of her 4 childern are very successful and excellent human beings.
MQ- yes I am at stereotyping all Desi raised men as ignorant tyrants.
Mariah-What is this mebbe siht, go read the first post. Nilu is clearly portraying Sobia as some one being wronged. How she feels sorry for the way her husband is forcing her to take care of the child instead of opting for a career.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Why should sister in law take ‘care’ of her child? The word is ‘care’ not ‘look at him’…see the difference?
I feel sorry for her too..she has got a friend who uses friggin’ red font.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Her reasons for getting her education was so that she has a basis form which she can offer her guidance. It is not selfishness, it is actually a more nurturing trait. I am not sure what your parental educational background is but I think I get it.
My father was equally as accomplished and not a Paki dickless wonder husband as I alluded to earlier, so the question of leaving wouldn;t have arisen. women in our family were given the same opportunities and afforded the same considerations as men.
Since Sobia’s husband is in Pakistan..I can understand now and my postulate fits.
thanks for your concern but don;t stop on my account. My childhood was full of books, family and travels..what can any child want?
I think your mother deserves all the credit in the world. She made the decision after having worked. Was this a decision made by her or for her? 3 out of four is 75%. Is that a good staististic when speaking about raising a child. Maybe the number should have been 3 or 2. Odds of success are a lot higher.
In desiland, the choice, statistically speaking, traditionally isn;t with the woman. As Sobia’s husband is trying to impose.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
I get this fiestiness from my mom..she singlehandedly can make the earth rotate the other way on it’s axis. My sister can do the same…women in my family..I tell ya!!
