Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
I have a contrairian view to situations like this and just to tick people off I will make gross generalizations towards foreign raised desi women just like girls here do about Pakistani raised men.
Parents living in the west marry off their ill-bred-western-raised daughters to the first innocent and sharif Pakistani guy that they can find. They know that their daughters have a history in view of which no decent guy from the same city or country (in case of Europe), who knows their daughter, will willingly marry her as their mash-hoori is widespread, thus ruining the life of the poor desi(shareef) man. What injustice.
Every thing that happens later on, in such a couple's married life, is blamed on the husbands traditional-desi-upbringing and his narrow mindedness. These women tell everyone how they were married off forcefully to the paiDoo and had no choice although they were the ones who uttered the qabool hae three times out of their own lips. Once married to the shareef desi person they first try to have their way and when the poor guy does not give-in they cry foul to everyone.
Just read the above example in case you dont agree. Sobia should have left her parents when she was being forced to marry rather than leaving the one year old child at this later stage. If she is strong (read dumb) enough to do this she should have said no to her parents wishes at the time of signing the contract. What kind of a mother would prefer school over her one year old son, not a Pakistani mother I guarantee. This girl was not forced, she used the marriage to get out of her parents clutches and now she is dissing the shareef hubby and creating circumstance to break the marriage and go back to her old ways minus the parents. Free at last. And as for the one year old, he is just oh, collateral damage.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
ashtray - wow, while I don't agree with the bluntness, lol, I have to agree with most of the sentiment, basically, she should shoulder her responsibilities and deal with things like a grown-up..........
Like I said, it is her marriage now, she has to figure out a way to make it work... or not.....
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
“What kind of a mother would prefer school over her one year old son, not a Pakistani mother I guarantee.”
I found this curious…it is not an either/ or…there are many kids around the world whose parents work. It is not a preference thing…there are many females in medical school who get married and have kids…there are many who are in graduate school…who do the same. Three of my classmates from B-School that I know had babies. Means absolutely nothing. It is the mindset of the south asian males which is at fault.
Until as a south asian male, you can provide for your wife and child, give them a lifestyle they deserve to have; instead of crying “traditions” while living in a one bedroom apartment with 3 kids in the projects and raising your brood to have the same idiotic morals as yourself, shut the FK up.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Abay do you seriously think your western raised princess will marry off to kaRka. So if she is living in a one bedroom apt with three kids, she was living in a one bedroom (most probably paRosi's) apt with no bathroom prior to the marriage. Chutia na ho to
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
As for this part, I would again say that these girls should have sewd off their ovaries if they indulged in unprotected sex while having comittments. Having a baby and not having 24/7 to look sfter them is a crime. The child does not know when not to need the mother at an early age lalloo. And people wonder where people like you come from, sheesh
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Nilu,
There is nothing wrong with having a child and going to school or working. However, it is a marriage we are talking about, not just what she wants and should do. Basically he has a right to say what he wants to happen, he is the father of the child. The same goes for her opinion.
However, instead of complaining to friends, aunts, uncles, people on the street, and strangers on-line ------ she should just take this complaint where it belongs, to the other person in her marriage and work it out one way or another there.
Ashtray - ok, disagree with a minor thingy, western born has little to do with it, I think, morals and maturity do. Take it from a western born and raised woman, there is a lot of us good and proper women out there. :) happy??? still like what you said though
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
what makes you think..no one is there 24/7 to look after them? They were married. Non-performing assets read dickless Paki husbands should stay home and take care of the kids and leave the education and breadwinning to their wives. And people wonder where people like you come from, sheesh.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
^ what makes you think child isn't a priority. What is better, not being able to give the child the opportunities provided by parents who are well educated and well to do or raising a child in an environment that limits these opportunities?
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Matsui go read basic child psychology and then come back and talk to me. It is not just traditional upbringing I am talking about, western values teach you the same when it comes to raising a child, especially one so young as Sobia’s.
Minah and Mehnaz, how come you open-minded level-headed western raised desi women never raise your voices when gross generalizations are made about Desi upbringing everywhere on this board.?Hain bolo bolo? At least I qualified my post. I see the same narrow mindedness in western raised women that you accuse the desi-bred men of. You are all biased.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Abay paisay kay bhookay, these means to provide better opportunities should have been taken care of prior to shooting off in the womb. If you knew you would not be able to give the child what you would like to give then dont have one. There should be no trade off. Samajh aya?
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
ashtray - Fair enough. Maybe because I am not desi (I am Irish Catholic, husband is Pakistani Pashtun)and I try to pick my battles over the things I think I know about. I try to be fair, but I figure if a desi is being biased with or against another desi, then it is not my battle. Even here I focused on the marriage, not who was right where or even the child.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
Well why cant she wait until the child is older and her hubby is with her? I mean a one year old child needs at least one parent around. And its not as if school or work is a "must" for her in this case. I think she should just stay and take care of the baby. She can always study or work later, once her hubby is with her to help her out.
I cant imagine leaving such young kids to study or work. Esp not my one year old.
Re: Is it really so.. that what a husband say a women has to listen to him?
I never said she should not work. I think she should shape her life around the child. After all paida kya hai …its her / his responsibility. Child is very yound right now.
