its not that ladies make their husbands into the men they complain about so much, its more of what kind of sons ladies raise, and what kind of jackasses ladies introduce to their daughters for marriage, and what kinda decisions girls have to make at an age where they may not be ready, and what kind of pressures they are under to put these assclowns into some sort of kings throne where he can't be arsed to do anything
My husband can't wait for an opportunity to spend alone time with his daughters. Just today he and the older one were planning a rock climbing activity. The dads you talk about are the loser dads who think that bringing home the paycheck is enough to earn the rank of a parent. Forget letting the wife go on a 1 hr salon trip, they would probably complain about taking the kid to the loo. Fault of their mommies.
You know what I have noticed, not all men are like that. I mean some men would watch the child but moms get all worked up unnecessarily. Like I have a friend who has an amazing husband who doesn't mind watching their daughter but my friend is alway like oh no he won't do a good job watching her.. what if its her feed time or diaper change time... he will watch tv and not look after the daughter. I told her several times its your daughter's dad. He won't kill her. He is amazing person you just need to start trusting him more. I have no problem leaving my son with my husband for as long as I am out. Ladies panic for no reason when the babies are left with husbands. Yes in some cases, husbands don't want to watch the kids but its not always the case.
ugh and what if the dude watches the kid and then taunts the wife saying "hey I can do a better job of taking care of ladoo better than you, next time u should do this." thats just as annoying....I imagine
I agree with niksik baji, its the way these men have been brought up by their parents.
In our parents generation mothers did everything for the boys RIGHT upto when they get married
and then expect the WIFE to baby them and not expect the men to do anything.
Not all men are like that though from that generation as my dad helped my mum out alot right from
cleaning the house to changing nappies - lol there was 6 of us too!
My hubby mA helps out quite alot too and spends as much time possible with kids including giving bath etc
I think its us women who let the men from day one think its the woman's job to do all this by not giving them the responsibilities
and chance to be a proper husband/dad
Maybe its just as excuse to be served first or as quickly as possible? We all do that....like my cousin always pulls out 'oh I have a dentist's appointment in an hour time" or not so long ago, I used to have this 'I have to pick up my baby sister/brother from nursery' excuse even though my little sister was in secondary school. I'd assume talking about kids and paiting husbands in bad light is an easy trick to gain sympathy and attention.
Not every woman is a bloody martyr in this world, if anything woman can so damn manipulating.
my mom watches my kids when i have longer appointments.. more then an hour with the kids my husband starts to panick they are still small and need attention the entire time iam sure when they are a bit older my husband wouldnt mind watching them all day
and yes iam okay with it..
My husband can't wait for an opportunity to spend alone time with his daughters. Just today he and the older one were planning a rock climbing activity. The dads you talk about are the loser dads who think that bringing home the paycheck is enough to earn the rank of a parent. Forget letting the wife go on a 1 hr salon trip, they would probably complain about taking the kid to the loo. Fault of their mommies.
Agreed! Forget a 30 minute salon trip, I have been on several "girls trips/vacays" out of town and my husband has never balked at taking care of the kids alone for 3-4 days (and vice versa, I don't nag and pout when he wants to take a guys trip somewhere with his pals)
When the twins were 2, and our oldest 4, I had to go KHI alone, as my father was in his last days, and darling hubby took his 6 weeks of vacation time and stayed home with the kids so that I could go take care of my dad! So I would say let's not label all dads in the same category....REAL men don't shy away from diaper duty/parenting their kids...alhamdullilah I am lucky enough to have found one who "gets it" lol!!!
I guess men make more fuss if they have to attend to their toddlers or infants for even an hour. Older kids ..I don't think they should have any problem entertaining and looking after them. Come on they are their kids' dads !!
It's a two way street. Did these female clients do all the work since the kids were babies......if so......they're setting a pattern where the husbands get used to not helping out. And then when people do see a dad hanging out with the kids....they're so surprised because it goes against a certain image.......something that Aahmed had mentioned in the Parenting forum.
I think sometimes you have to stick to your guns....and be on your way as oppposed to having an argument (which you know won't go anywere) and then sulking later on. Like....tell the husband "I have an appointment. You are ALSO the parent of our child and I don't appreciate the lack of consideration here. We're SUPPOSED to be a TEAM. Here's the kid....goodbye." And just go. He'll HAVE to take care of the kid....if he has even a drop of responsibility in him. And while he's taking care of them....he might realize that it's not easy and develop more respect for what you go through.
ugh and what if the dude watches the kid and then taunts the wife saying "hey I can do a better job of taking care of ladoo better than you, next time u should do this." thats just as annoying....I imagine
what if he is right?
Maybe its just as excuse to be served first or as quickly as possible? We all do that....like my cousin always pulls out 'oh I have a dentist's appointment in an hour time" or not so long ago, I used to have this 'I have to pick up my baby sister/brother from nursery' excuse even though my little sister was in secondary school. I'd assume talking about kids and paiting husbands in bad light is an easy trick to gain sympathy and attention.
Not every woman is a bloody martyr in this world, if anything woman can so damn manipulating.
you have a good point. I also see this is some sort of self affirmation.
was at some place where some lady who is a stay at home mom, both kids college age complaining that she spends all her day doing dishes.
its like really lady..really... no one of freaking home from breakfast to dinner time, are you doing the entire mohalla's dishes. I think some of the child care may just fall into the same thing.
I blame the mothers of these men who made them the king of the house and later the wives themselves...if they had their husbands involved in the upbringing of a baby the day they brought the baby home, he would have known exactly what she knows about the baby!
Believe it or not...there are fathers who work their ass off to provide for the family that they actually miss out on being involved with their kids' upbringing. They simply don't get enough time to keep up with things! There was a time when my brother in law would barely get four hours sleep or a free weekend because we was so damn busy with work...now I know its hard to see men as humans and feel sorry for them but with such hectic schedule who expects a father a primary/sole breadwinner to be a perfect 'mother' also?
Btw my brother in law can take the care of childern fine but the thing is, you find awful lot of mess and couple of broken things upon your return.
No offense,but a friendly reply to the OP...when I go to the salon etc and the lady there is always trying to convince me how I need a haircut or facial or something else,I always use the excuse that I have to get home as I have left my toddler with her father and it is a good thing for me to leave now.(Not implying anything,just saying so)
A few other times I have used the same excuse to get out of somewhere or leave something early.(Tha latest was when at the end of semester everyone decided to go out for lunch and I just excused myself like this)
It is just an excuse and by no means that my husband cant look after his own child or that his mother raised him wrong or whatever.
Maybe some women just say it and don't always mean it...:)
