Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

hey every1 is screaming :bachay bachay" here but tell me one thing im really not following u guys here so help this poor little soul ok. :paci:

do u think that this kind of stuff going on around kids in their own homes is real good thing? do u really belive that ur providing ur kids the healthy environment “the paradise” when they see their ma getting beaten up all black and blue cuz their lovign pappa didtn liek the karahi gosht? :rolleyes:

wat wud i do if u were in this place? leave ur kids to suffer liek that?

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

it is terrible and frustrating, i have seen such cases, but consider it an azmaish where one has to make the right decision. culturally we are taught about sacrifice and compromise and the burden of that is very skewed and falls on women more. I suppose there are cases where ppl get involved talk some sense into the couple and life improves, but in cases when enough is enough, more serious decisions need to be made. They are not ideal and nither is the resulting situation indeal, but better than the status quo in such cases. it is tough on the women and kids, and many women make the sacrifice because they know how it is.

You have to also see the consequences of separation. That is equally bad for kids to go through and I guess because of very reason most of the women opt to “zulm sehna” than “talaq”

i dont think kids r always the main reason behind all this zulm sehna :@: and a women's decision to stay.

ohhhhh nvm!!

I said "most" of the time not always. I have seen most of the divorced (desi) men/women does not have kids. Most of the time its either kids or peer pressure than anything else.

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

Our people have come up with a million interpretations of what has been said in Islam about a lot of things, to suit individual needs/desires. There wont be a lot of people who would stay within the bounds of Islam when it comes to hitting one's wife - and many other matters. There are so many who would quote an ayat or hadeeth with their very own interpretation to justify their actions.

I believe it has more to do with your upbringing, the way you see your elders treating women. For some people it is a matter of mesculine pride to treat their women like chit. Poor upbringing, disturbed childhood, maybe other reasons.

Woman - be that wife, sister, mother - should be treated with respect. Only a testically challenged (is that even a word?) man would hit a woman. And then on the other side, woman should respect the man the way she is respected. And she should not put a man in that position where he loses it - an example would be husband walking in on a cheating wife - which I mentioned in some other thread as well - and this is when I would totally lose it. Works both ways, I say if a woman walks in on her cheating husband, she has every right to shoot the chithead in the back of his head.

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

I never even thought this was a question...but it is...

Yes it is allowed, but subject to certain conditions and staying within certain boundaries that fade somewhere when we implement that.

Its like eating haraam is halaal in certain circumstances.

It all boils down to (mis)interpetation and misuse.

The situation in which husband beats up his wife for the food he didn’t like cooked by his wife is so zulm. Yes definately that place is not good for kids to grow up but sadly mom becomes so stuck and father don’t understand so in this case wife and kids pay the price of someones zulm

No don’t leave the kids to suffer. Be there for them. Otherwise they will become so alone. Pray to Allah to give you himmat and samajh what to do which is good for wife and husband.

Yeah I totally agree with you.

Aisy hi logon kay liaay kahawat hai. Kuttay ki dum sau saal bhi mitti main daba kar rakho terhi hi rehti hai.

I know I saw women who sacrifce because of that.

Exactly.

Talaq kay dagh say buchnay ko zulm sehti rehti hai sari umr.

Mostly kids or Love.

Agree

Exactly, it is eating pork is also allowed in Islam, but there are certain conditions defined.

same here, but our people just read and do what they want to read and do.

In Islam when there is evidence that a husband or a wife has slept with someone else, he or she has to be stoned to death. That is allowed. The rules are strict of course, there has to be real proof that he or she did that.

So that means, a husband or even a wife can hit/kill the spouse if he/she is cheating on him/her. But there has to be evidence.

(Of course you can't help it when you do like someone else, it's a feeling Allah gives you to test you. You can like someone else, maybe even love someone else in your heart, but as long as you don't do anything with that feeling, just leave it as it is, it's oké and ask Allah to help you to deal with it.

Or if you still really want to be with that other person instead of your spouse, then first you should tell your spouse about it, first divorce and then be with that other person.)

But a husband should never hit his wife for any other reasons. People say they are following Islam even when they hit their wives, but they forget the ayat where it's written that they should treat their wives kindly.

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

**We are mashallah many brother and all athletes.
My sister know how shoot with hand gun(good aim):snooty:

I would be surprised if this question ever came to her husband’s mind. hmmmmmmmm
because God is the last thing he need to worry about!!!**

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

LOL...

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

I know PS,
its easy l think it as a possibility when women CANT protect them selves!!!

WHAT A STUPID QUESTION!!!

AND
PS: what king of MFen man hit a woman??

First paragraph yeah agree that's what quran says.

But husband and wife can't beat each other. They have to prove that the have slept with someone and then ppl has to stone them to death in front of ppl and many ppl have to participate.

Exactly agree with last paragraph.

Wife beating they learned from hinduism. and make their wife or deal with them like janwar they all learned from hinduism.

thats exactly how it happened now the poor girl left with abusive husband n no kids.my heart just cries for her.she wanted to separate so bad but ended up in this reck

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

This is what I agree with.**

Beating Women Or Beating Around the Bush, Or…
Edip Yuksel

**“Verse 4:34 of the Quran orders believers to beat their wives; so, Islam is a male dominant religion.” Many of us have heard this criticism from Christians, atheists, agnostics, etc. Personally, every time I read 4:34, I felt that something was wrong. How does God, the Most Wise order us to beat our women? What kind of solution is that? It is in contrast to the verses in which God describes marriage:

“Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other. He places in your heart love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are signs for people who think.” (30:21)

Obviously, this mixed messages have bothered many contemporary translators of the Quran. To avoid the moral and intellectual problems, they tried to soften the word “beat” when they translate the verse 4:34. For instance, Yusuf Ali uses a merciful parentheses after “beat” to save women:

“. . . As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly). . .” (4:34)

Many tried to “beat” around the bush to “beat” the problem generated by the “beat” of 4:34.

When I finished the Turkish translation (1991), this verse was on the top of my orange list to study carefully. Whenever I encounter a problem regarding the understanding of a Quranic verse, I remember 20:114 and pray accordingly: “Most Exalted is God, the only true King. Do not rush into (understanding) the Quran before it is revealed to you, and say, ‘My Lord, increase my knowledge.’”

Almost all of the translations have mistranslated the four key words or terms of this particular verse. These are: “Qawwamune,” “Faddallallahu ba’dahum ala ba’d,” “Nushuzehunne,” and “Fadribuhunne.” In our late book, “Errors in Turkish Translations” (Istanbul, 1992) we have discussed the real meaning of these words and the motivation and reasons for mistranslating them. Here, we will focus on the last word, “Fadribuhunne.”

A Famous Multi-Meaning Word

The problem comes from the word “Idribuhunne” which we used to translate as “beat them”. The root of this word is “DaRaBa”. If you look at any Arabic dictionary you will find a long list of meanings ascribed to this word. That list is one of the longest list in whole Arabic dictionary. It can be said that “DaRaBa” is the number-one multi-meaning word in Arabic. It has so many different meanings, we can find numerous different meanings ascribed to it in the Quran.

To travel, to get out: 3:156; 4:101; 38:44; 73:20; 2:273
To strike: 2:60,73; 7:160; 8:12; 20:77; 24:31; 26:63; 37:93; 47:4
To beat: 8:50; 47:27
To set up: 43:58; 57:13
To give (examples): 14:24,45; 16:75,76,112; 18:32,45; 24:35; 30:28,58; 36:78; 39:27,29; 43:17; 59:21; 66:10,11
To take away, to ignore: 43:5
To condemn: 2:61
To seal, to draw over: 18:11
To cover: 24:31
To explain: 13:17

As you see, in Quran alone we can witness the verb “DaRaBa” having at least ten different meanings. “DaRaBa” has also other meanings which are not mentioned in the Quran. For example, in the Arabic language, you do not print money–you “DaRaBa” money, you do not multiply numbers–you “DaRaBa” numbers, you do not cease the work–you “DaRaBa” the work. In Turkish we have many verbs similar to DaRaBa, such as “tutmak”, “calmak”, “vurmak” etc. In English we have two verbs which are almost equivalent to “DaRaBa”. These are “strike” and “beat”.

Webster’s Dictionary gives fourteen meanings to the verb “strike”: hit (against); ignite; (of snake) bite; (of plants) (cause to) take root; attack; hook (fish); sound (time) as bell in clock etc.; affect; arrive at, come upon; enter mind of; discover (gold, oil etc.); dismantle, remove; make (coin); cease work as protest or to make demands. The same dictionary gives eight meanings to the verb “beat”: strike repeatedly; overcome; surpass; stir vigorously with striking action; flap (wings); make, wear (path); throb; sail against wind.

In the beginning of this article (underlined) I deliberately used “beat” in three different meanings in a single statement just to show the variety of meanings in a single word. In English, when we order someone to “beat it” we mean “get out”. Similarly in Arabic, when we order someone with the command form of “DaRaBa”, that is “iDRiB”, we mean “get out”.

How Can We Find The Appropriate Meaning

When we encounter a multi-meaning word, we select the proper meaning according to the context, forms, and common sense. For instance, if we had have translated “DaRaBa” in 13:17 as “beat” instead of “explain”, the meaning would be ridiculous:

“. . . God thus beats the truth and falsehood." (13:17)

Another example of mistranslation of “DaRaBa” can be found in the translation of 38:44. All the translations (except Dr. Khalifa’s translation) inject a male-made story to justify their silly translation. Here is how Yusuf Ali translates the verse about Job:

“And take in the hand a little grass, and strike therewith: and break not (the oath).”

Yusuf Ali, in the footnote narrates the traditional story: “He (Job) must have said in his haste to the woman that he would beat her: he is asked now to correct her with only a wisp of grass, to show that he was gentle and humble as well as patient and constant.”

However, without injecting this story, we can translate it as the following:

“Now, you shall travel the land to fulfill your pledge (that is to deliver the message).” We found him steadfast. What a good servant! He was a submitter. (38:44)

Let’s turn back to 4:34

Additionally, the word “Nushuz” which is generally translated as “opposition” has another meaning which can be translated as degrees of disloyalty ranging from flirtation to sexual liaison. If we study 4:34 carefully we will find a clue that leads us to translate that word as “flirting or cheating” or “extramarital affair” (Any word or words that reflect the range of disloyalty in marriage). The clue is the phrase before “Nushuz” as reads: “. . . and observe God’s commandments, even when alone in their privacy.” This phrase emphasizes the importance of loyalty in marriage life.

Furthermore, the same word “Nushuz” is used in 4:128, but it is used to describe the misbehavior of husbands not wives as was in 4:34. So, the traditional translation of “Nushuz”, that is, “opposition” will not fit here. In vertical relations, “opposition” cannot be a double-edged behavior. So, translators try to avoid this contradiction by ascribing just the opposite meaning of “opposition”, i.e., “oppression” in verse 4:128. However, the meaning of “Nushuz” as “disloyalty” is appropriate for both cases described in 4:34 and 4:128.

A Coherent Understanding

When we read 4:34 we should not understand “idribuhunne” as “beat those women”. We must remember that this word has many meanings. God gives us three ways of dealing with extra-marital-affair. In the beginning stage of such misbehavior husband should start from giving advice. If it does not work and she goes further and commits a proven adultery, that time husband has the right to strike them out (4:34 & 65:1).

Let’s present our suggestion for the translation of verse 4:34

“Men traditionally take care of women, since God has endowed each of them with certain qualities and men spend from their financial resources. The righteous women are obedient (to God) and during the absence (of their husband) they honor them according to God’s commandment. As for those women whom you are experiencing a fear of disloyalty from, you shall first advice them, then (if they continue) you may desert them in bed, then you may strike them out. If they obey you then don’t transgress against them. God is Most High, Supreme.” (4:34).

Beating women who are cheating is not an ultimate solution; but “striking them out” from your house is the best solution. And it is fair too.

Source: http://www.yuksel.org/e/religion/unorthodox.htm

its not a stupid question.u see if a guy does that n woman protests(say u r in pak for instance)n demands divorce so many Chamchas of the guy will jump in telling the lady ok that happened in state of anger n Hes ur husband he can do it in islam its ok for a husband he won't b answerable to Allah for that so y make n issue n just go back to ur house.
n then there was a lady(MIL)who would say haan mard ko ghussa dilayo tu aisa tu hota he hai.is main kia bari baat hai n then she would quote this hadees where a Sahabi used to keep a long stick to scare his wife n keep her in control.When i asked the authenticity of hadees the answer was"I read it somewhere dunno where"
Now for everyones info it not adultery based hitting/fight we r talking abt.

elaborate on that plzz Sounds interesting.

Re: Is hitting ur wife allowed in Islam

marook already did PM, read the earlier post.