Insight needed on this rishta/relationship

[sherazade]

Re: Insight needed on this rishta/relationship

@Chicken_Biryani

Sherazade,

Pakistani families have some seriously twisted views when it comes to getting their sons married . In most cases I have seen that the boys arent allowed to win the battle against their mommies or sisters when it comes to choosing a life partner. And remember what i told you before in my post earlier , when a mother or a sister doesnt want to fight off their son/brother, they will avoid a face off and will rather use tact to deal with his anger . This is where the waiting game begins and almost never ends for the girl in waiting.

Even if the family gives in , this is now a bone of contention that will never every get out of your life , if you get married to him. Having said this , if I were you , I would let the guy know that you have invested time , emotion and effort into this proposal, you dont want to wait too long, so he can try one more time to understand concerns his family has and honestly portray those concerns back to your family , so you guys can decide if things will work or not . Then tell him , if he isnt able to clarify things within days or few more weeks , then this is the end of it and you need to move on.

Now here is the important bit. The stage you are at , its still easy to move away . The deeper you get into this crap , the harder you will get an emotional hit. and your parents and family too. You want a family which will accept you with respect .

Good luck my dear .

Hi there, thanks so much for the sincere advice! I completely agree with you. I have actually already let the guy know that I cannot be waiting around for too long (for my own well-being) - which is why I suppose he initiated the convo with his parents. I was hoping to get a sign to help me prepare for what was to come - and since there seems to be red flags… I am preparing myself emotionally and mentally. As everyone has said, I am gonna give it about 3 weeks to get an official yes or no. If I hear nothing back, then yes I will move on. I would just like everyone to remember me in your prayers! May Allah give me the strength to come out of all of this with a positive outlook.