Insanely Jealous

[kakaballi]

Re: Insanely Jealous

^ She might not be a techie but gets really upset over him going through her FB account.

Damn... this FB is killing relationships all around!!!!

[kakaballi]

Re: Insanely Jealous

I'd be upset too. .....

only upset???? he'd be in ER, im sure! :P

[Iconoclast]

Re: Insanely Jealous

^ She might not be a techie but gets really upset over him going through her FB account.

Damn... this FB is killing relationships all around!!!!

It does in reality.

[partyslims]

Re: Insanely Jealous

@_MuNiYa

Wa’lahi. I would look with him.

That’s why I qualified my remark with “most women”. MA you have that super strong trusting relationship or you know your husband doesn’t have a past or has never shown any inclination in such matters, so you can joke about it. But looking up your ex that you may have had a serious relationship with multiple times a week for a consistent (x) number of weeks is disturbing in my opinion.

[Theorist]

Re: Insanely Jealous

@_MuNiYa

Wa’lahi. I would look with him.

I don’t know why but that’s so true.. Unfortunately, neither of us have old flames to look up.

[pwner]

Re: Insanely Jealous

@Ghost14

Exactly. I love when women rationalize crap like this. Yes, there is a communication gap, and yes, the OP needs to talk to his wife, but to suggest that her behaviour is acceptable, or simply curiosity, is ridiculous. Curious makes you look something up once. She was repeatedly searching for another guy.

@NaMaan

We while analyzing women : Awww … she is secretly thinking about someone else … poor girl … awww …

We while analyzing men: MOFO … how dare he emotionally cheat on his wife … F’en divorce his azz out of the this house … once a cheater always a cheater

@Zafra

All you women are doing a Nadz again. Defending the wrong idea because its a woman who is at fault.

That or you all secretly stalk your exes without telling your husbands and are defending it because you feel guilty.

@kakaballi

Do not continue doing it please.

If a wife gets really upset about husband of 14 years having accessed her FB account, it only fans insecurity, lack of trust and suspicion.

If a woman meticulously guards her private stuff, it only causes her man to (rightly or wrongly) get suspicious. It is absolutely not a pleasant experience for a man, desi or not.

The thought process is like this: “If there is nothing to hide, why try so hard to hide?”. Even if she is hiding to not have his feelings hurt in any way.

@partyslims

That’s why I qualified my remark with “most women”. MA you have that super strong trusting relationship or you know your husband doesn’t have a past or has never shown any inclination in such matters, so you can joke about it. But looking up your ex that you may have had a serious relationship with multiple times a week for a consistent (x) number of weeks is disturbing in my opinion.

Dear All.

You are grossly generalizing/judging/hating/mysogynisticing and a thousand other things here :rolleyes;

Not All Guppans are like that (even if one doesn’t do this kinda thing, it takes away resposniblity from the whole lot)…

Lagay Raho.

Btw… why anyone hasn’t brought an islamic injuction prohibiting the husband from going through his wife’s facebook? SOmething like..“islamically its her choice whether she wants to stalk exes or not, husband has no right to question about it”

[Theorist]

Re: Insanely Jealous

That's why I qualified my remark with "most women". :p MA you have that super strong trusting relationship or you know your husband doesn't have a past or has never shown any inclination in such matters, so you can joke about it. But looking up your ex that you may have had a serious relationship with multiple times a week for a consistent (x) number of weeks is disturbing in my opinion.

Agreed. It's stalking. My husband keeps getting friend requests every now and then from this girl who used to like him in high school. She is married and has kids! I only wonder if her husband knows. If I were her husband, I would be upset by her behavior.

[Zafra]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Dear All.

You are grossly generalizing/judging/hating/mysogynisticing and a thousand other things here :rolleyes;

Not All Guppans are like that (even if one doesn't do this kinda thing, it takes away resposniblity from the whole lot)....

Lagay Raho.

Btw....... why anyone hasn't brought an islamic injuction prohibiting the husband from going through his wife's facebook? SOmething like.."islamically its her choice whether she wants to stalk exes or not, husband has no right to question about it"

I am sorry I forgot. We want to create more Nadz type women.

[el_topo]

Re: Insanely Jealous

OP, is he the only person she is looking up repeatedly?
Perhaps it might be an idea for the both of you to take a break from facebook and spend more time together, ideally outside beneath the pretty sky.

[Reha]

Re: Insanely Jealous

I just believe there's no reason for him to be suspicious of her if they're happy together.

If you're happy, keep it that way. Don't allow outside influences to mess that up.

On the other hand, I think I missed the part where OP mentioned she's been doing this for several weeks now and 3-4 times a week. Maybe she heard something? Like she heard he got married or had a kid or something? Usually women get a little curious when they hear about major life events like that.

I looked up an ex of mine but I haven't done that in ages now.

[Reha]

Re: Insanely Jealous

OP, is he the only person she is looking up repeatedly? Perhaps it might be an idea for the both of you to take a break from facebook and spend more time together, ideally outside beneath the pretty sky.

Bingo!

[Sehrysh]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Someone steals your stuff and you happen to find out after going through their purse - which was lying open in front of you in the first place - who should be the one getting more upset?

^ This! There were two wrong acts, but who is more culpable?

Her for still being fixated on an ex (and 10+ years of marriage later, you should not be searching for an ex 3-4 times a week) or him for invading her privacy?

[partyslims]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Her for still being fixated on an ex (and 10+ years of marriage later, you should not be searching for an ex 3-4 times a week) or him for invading her privacy?

That's why i had stated he is in a quandary. If he brings it up, then he's gonna get the major crap about invasion of privacy, and if he doesn't, it's just gonna eat him up. Where's the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind mind wipe machine when you need it :/

[Theorist]

Re: Insanely Jealous

That's why i had stated he is in a quandary. If he brings it up, then he's gonna get the major crap about invasion of privacy, and if he doesn't, it's just gonna eat him up. Where's the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind mind wipe machine when you need it :/

BS! What invasion of privacy?! There shouldn't be this kind of privacy in a marriage to begin with. Something must be fundamentally wrong in the relationship to have this need for privacy.

[Ghost14]

Re: Insanely Jealous

BS! What invasion of privacy?! There shouldn't be this kind of privacy in a marriage to begin with. Something must be fundamentally wrong in the relationship to have this need for privacy.

That's the issue. Something caused him to snoop around, if you want to call it snooping, and he found cause for concern. I still think her actions in this case are worse. Yes he was wrong, but it sounds like she's halfway to an emotional affair already, or at least mentally checking out.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Insanely Jealous

BS! What invasion of privacy?! There shouldn't be this kind of privacy in a marriage to begin with. Something must be fundamentally wrong in the relationship to have this need for privacy.

Not being married what would I know, but I still think there are certain boundaries and right to privacy between a husband and wife. Do I think that FB and social media accounts rise to the level of having an expectation for privacy - no. But to "check up" on the wife seems a bit intrusive. It's like the husband who follows his wife around to make that when she said she's going to the supermarket - she really did go to the supermarket.

I think the relationship here lacks trust and honesty on both sides.

[pwner]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Islamically.....someobdy? pliz? I want to know islamically stance so bad :(

[Theorist]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Not being married what would I know, but I still think there are certain boundaries and right to privacy between a husband and wife. Do I think that FB and social media accounts rise to the level of having an expectation for privacy - no. But to "check up" on the wife seems a bit intrusive. It's like the husband who follows his wife around to make that when she said she's going to the supermarket - she really did go to the supermarket.

I think the relationship here lacks trust and honesty on both sides.

Believe me when I say this. No happy marriage has privacy or intrusion issues. The issue here is intent on his part and I believe he has a good reason. She should not be looking up her Ex weekly. This does spell trouble. If I had a reason to check my husband's phone or Social networking accounts to see if he was messing around, you bet I would. Looking up an Ex frequently is a pretty good reason!

[pwner]

Re: Insanely Jealous

[QUOTE]
If I had a reason to check my husband's phone or Social networking accounts to see if he was messing around, you bet I would.
[/QUOTE]

But you izz womans.......tis ok if u do it.....

[redvelvet]

Re: Insanely Jealous

Lol, as I said earlier...she may be upset that he searched her profile, but even she will realize that she's more in the wrong. Even if it is merely out of curiosity, let's examine the potential effects for the curiosity. It can lead to reminiscing and thinking about "what ifs" regarding the path one's life took. It can lead to insecurity issues as in comparing herself to ex's wife, comparing her life to the ex's and FB pictures don't necessarily reflect reality. If the curiosity stems from jealousy or bitterness or ego, these emotions are not healthy either. What does she and her marriage gain from this "curiosity" which did not end with just one click? She may no longer have any romantic interest at all in her ex, but if OP is not going to move on from his doubts, I think it's better that he calmly discuss the issue with her and in a thorough way.