Though I was going to write it in another thread, but thought this topic deserved a separate one.
Being a silent observer, I have heard few incidents from men in different places which has forced me to believe that a lot of girls don’t have bad intentions but fail to know the way they have been made a victom of “visual rape” In other words they are too innocent and ignorant of those satanic ways. Just two examples:
Incident 1
A man was mentioning that he once went to a photograph shop where a family had sent their marriage pics reel for development of pics. As there were too many pics taken, few were taken carelessly. Like a pic was taken of few friends from a distance, but after zooming those pics, one can see near them a women picking up something from the floor, or correcting her heels, due to which her “dupatta” was not at the right place. That shop keeper kept such photos and distributed them in friends in “Zoomed form”.
Incident 2
I was shocked to hear from a driver that he was once walking on footh path. A girl walking in front of him was wearing a certain kind of clothes, and the sun was setting infront of her. I think it is very easy for everyone to understand what happens when something is placed in front of the light, thin clothes becomes useless.
Though the person should have controlled his gaze but why giving anyone a chance.
What a sleazy man in the first one. does he not have a sister/wife/mother/daughter? Or does he think that they will never make a mistake and no man will take advantage of htem in that way? i’d spit on him.
All is true and Their is also an incidence I have heard which I dont know if its factual or an urban legend
A guy said that he had a girlfriend and that he would share with his friend2…on arrival , the girl turned out to be friend 2’s sister
As for the 1st incident, I've heard something similar for wedding videos. Some video guys one normally hires, sell the dance parts from wedding videos plus candid shots of ladies ...you know what i mean..
both are at fault here; one greater then the other (i.e. the sick men).
Note how the Quran tells the men to lower the gaze BEFORE it tell the women to do the same and to adhere to a modest style of dress code...
Tell the believing men that they shall subdue their eyes (and not stare at the women), and to maintain their chastity. This is purer for them. GOD is fully Cognizant of everything they do. 24:30
And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands,.....They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed. 24:31
^ Agreed. It is harmful for both of the genders in many ways.
I read it somewhere that there is nothing more damaging / hurting to the spirit of a woman than the hungry eyes of a stanger man. When a man looks at a woman with hungry desires, certain waves emit from his eyes with certain frequency and wavelength that can cause damage to her skin and body, which can not be seen by naked eye. Women can't control the eyes of the uneducated men in public but they can take their own precautionary measures.
For men, eyes are door to their heart and mind. If they keep this door open to all the dirt, that dirt would enter through their eyes and polute their mind and heart. Then that poluted mind would fancy to them immoral desires and poluted heart would insist them to perform immoral activities. (adultary)
^Hm, I agree with what you said desire can lead men to do.. but I don't concur so much with whatever you said about 'frequency and wavelength etc etc causing damage to a woman's skin and body.' For one, it seems very unreal and illogical and two, that's not a proven fact nor mentioned in the Quran or Hadith. If that was the case, MOST women would be suffering from GREAT damage considering some men tend to give hungry looks even to those clad in hijab and burqa. A friend of mine in Pakistan does niqab and she says that some men stare at her like they can see through that veil even. Such disgusting men will act this way regardless of how the women is dressed- it's a mental problem.
My wife agrees to the fact that all the people in her family and in my huge family, who used to do "Parda" in their young age developed relatively very less diseases / health problems and still look very young even above the age of 55, with noor on their fresh faces.
That has to do with one's character.. not how many men stare at you.. because like I said, they WILL stare regardless of whether you wear a burqa or not.
My wife agrees to the fact that all the people in her family and in my huge family, who used to do "Parda" in their young age developed relatively very less diseases / health problems and still look very young even above the age of 55, with noor on their fresh faces.
Um.. there is nothing to suggest that staying inside is healthy for you. In fact, vitamin d deficiencies are rampant with those who practice parda. Women aren't objects, they're people. They are also animals, and need the same fresh air, sunlight, and stimulation that others do. Stop dehumanizing us and thinking that we are somehow deficient. We're different, but equal. So please, stop perpetuating these stereotypes that only serve to prevent progression.
^No one is stopping you from doing whatever you want. But you cannot represent the entire 'women' population. Some like to dress the way they do because they feel more comfortable that way such as Hijab, etc.
I would only comment on the following view, the rest can be better explained by a woman who practices parda.
I agree, women are not sexual objects or decoration pieces to be painted and displayed with exposure of their private parts in public places, TV adds…etc. I know that men should control their gaze but women should protect themselves from immoral men. As you know, no matter how many times you push them away the honey bees would always come back to the flowers with more “colour” and “fragrance” because it is in their nature to be attracted by them.
On a TV programm I heard the report of the US department of crime where they mentioned that in 95 % of rape cases when the culprits were asked the reason of rape, they gave the following two reasons:
The victom was wearing an exposing dress.
The victom was behaving in a seductive manner.
For a bit detail of the perspective I wanted to convey, kindly consider the following threads.
Let us not listen to STP, but a sister who herself chose to do Hijab and then nikaab even though she was brought up in a family in USA where it was not encouraged even by her parents.
Following is the comment which was posted by her to one of my questions (1.5 years ago) on another forum.
[quote]
There was a workshop I once went to, during a diversity conference that I went to a few years back. I think it really holds a strong message. I attended this workshop on the power of language and labels. The presenters went around and taped a label on each person's back, so that others could see it, but the person who had it on could not. We were instructed to walk around and talk to each other while treating each other as our labels said. Some of the labels said to treat the person as a three year old, or as though everything that person says is wrong, or that they're stupid.. etc etc..
So I was wandering around (wearing my hijaab and abaya) and people would look at mine and go like "oh no, we can't talk to you" and such. Then a man came up to me, and began telling me how beautiful i was and that he really wanted a picture of me to keep on his bedroom wall. I felt really uncomfortable as he had sort of backed me into a corner.. thankfully the presenters had us sit down before I spontaneously combusted to take off our labels, read them, and share with everyone how we felt.
There were three people (myself included) who had a label that read "Treat me like a sex object." The other two were females as well, one had her butt grabbed, the other one said she felt completely violated. No one touched me, I only felt uncomfortable. This was merely a simulation of what goes on in real life with our own stereotypes. If I look Arab, they'll act like they don't understand a word that comes out of my mouth, before I even open it; that's a type of label we put on people, or that people put on us. Imagine what goes on in real life, where the environment is no longer controlled; being modest and dressing modestly is a form of protection. Not only that but, when a woman dresses in such a way to attract attention from men, she is equally responsible for the sin of his lustful gaze, as she is the one who invites it upon herself. I don't know about other women, but I have enough sins accumulated on my own, I don't exactly need anyone elses.
i’d spit on him.
