Erm my typo just got deleted! Most of the text somehow dosappeared! Will rewrite soon! M hungry ☺again.. Will come bk soon
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
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Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
^ c above! lol
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
[quote="RoseAli, post:7952, topic:248431"]
. My in laws also b4 marriage used to show of that we will buy designer stuff and we buy designer clothes etc.. Butto be honest I haven't seen anything special to date.. Even my vari was nothing too unique in terms of daily clothes etc..
So? Over and done with right? It's not affecting ur current situation, right? You don't like the clothes in your bari, then give them to someone less fortunate who can use them. You can get or already have several outfits that exceed your bari in both number and quality.
You're expecting and should avoid tension, right? So let some things go...as opposed to making them a mental battle that you relive. Some of the stress is caused by others and some is our own
[/QUOTE]
s
Just venting out some frustrations red velvet! Let me Vent! Don't stop prego moms from venting! It's our form of relaxation too!
.. Alright where was I? During our stay in pk, me and hubby used to go out for late night drive for pani purri or restaurants ( yummy food! My mouths watering!)
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Omg!! Where is the rest of text disappearing! ?? Wrote a massive chunk!
.. Alright where was I? During our stay in pk, me and hubby used to go out for late night drive for pani purri or restaurants ( yummy food! My mouths watering!) guess who came with us for all outings?? Go on guess!? Yes, that's right my SIL! In fact my in laws openly encouraged her to go with us "jao tum bhi sair kar aao"!! Omg!! I can't tell what I went through then! To think my SIL would have some sense not to butt in as she's few years older than me! Once my hubby got annoyed with her in the car as asked her "tum Kya karne aaye ho? We will bring food for you?" You know in gussa tone but no she didn't care but said " kyun? Maine bhi nahi bahir Kha sakte"... Something along these lines! Omg! What a cow!
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Some kind of glitch...
Honestly op, I feel for you but now with a baby in the mix, you and hubby have a responsibility to stand up for your family. Most of this falls on hubby. He needs to be clear with his parents. No matter what you do there will always be a drama but be ready for it, jaded to it and like that saying goes..."keep calm and carry on." The more you show emotion and opinion, the more they will feed off it. That's what manipulators do. Your inlaws are masters at their game and honestly why play games with reverse psychology, just do and say what you guys NEED to do for your well being. God knows your hearts intentions and now you have a baby in the mix and I don't know how you could bring a baby even into this environment (my personal opinion) but now that there is, I feel like his/her well being is dependent on your well bring. Constantly keeping yourself stressed out is so unhealthy for you. I don't understand how people let themselves keep enduring all of this kind of stuff. I know its easier said than done but your husband needs to take a stand whether it makes him depressed or not. Be mentally ready for the backlash but eventually they will get tired of fighting with their son and things will change but it starts with your hubby.
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Yeah there was some glitch.. ^ edited above.
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
.. Alright where was I? During our stay in pk, me and hubby used to go out for late night drive for pani purri or restaurants ( yummy food! My mouths watering!) guess who came with us for all outings?? Go on guess!? Yes, that's right my SIL! In fact my in laws openly encouraged her to go with us "jao tum bhi sair kar aao"!! Omg!! I can't tell what I went through then! To think my SIL would have some sense not to butt in as she's few years older than me! Once my hubby got annoyed with her in the car as asked her "tum Kya karne aaye ho? We will bring food for you?" You know in gussa tone but no she didn't care but said " kyun? Maine bhi nahi bahir Kha sakte"... Something along these lines! Omg! What a cow!
maybe SIL didn't go out all that often, going out with her brother who was visiting sounds quite safe.
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
no offense Rose but you sound like a materialistic and bratty. and ditzy.
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
^ I do not find it odd at all that a newly married couple wanted to go out by themselves and she did not like her SIL tagging along.
I think I would have been annoyed too if it happened all the time, like whenever we went out.
When one of my cousin got married and they went for their honeymoon, another cousin (along with her husband and kids) made plans and went to the same place newly married cousin was going. I did not ask the details but in all the pictures I saw the entire family with the newlyweds. I could not understand the cousin's logic of going to the same place at the same time. Why ruin someone's honeymoon !
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
^ wow even the honeymoon wasn't spared!? Ppl are so strange..
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Peace chic pinnacle
oh dear oh dear oh dear !
Ok whenever your MIL and FIL wanna do something alone invite yourself and say ... "What you don't wanna be with me?" ... Any time your married SIL's decide to go out with their husbands invite yourself with them and invite your MIL and FIL too.
Trying to run away from them seems to only make them wanna come with you ... So try the reverse psychology route ... Be there all the time even when the FIL and MIL wanna go to sleep or want to talk privately ... Instead of them asking for the baby give the baby without them asking and when they don't seem to want him.
When the SIL's are around, praise your FIL and MIL in front of their daughters saying "thank god my i laws don't do that" even if they do it and do worse ... People will start to see your irony.
sounds harsh ... But to be honest your story gives me nausea ...
My story makes you pukish..why is that..soo rude :p
Socho mere apne dimagh ki kitni dahi banti ho g
Rose you should thank Allah that atleast now you atet living on yout own and get to go out and enjoy.
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Most in laws tag along as a form of control so that their son doesn't get too much "qabo main" of the new bahu. Some husbands do change after kids but some don't. I hope for all you girls out there that they do change. At least you girls have a good relationship with your husbands, some girls don't have that luxury.
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
@ Lusi - oh no, SIL goes almost out daily with her parents at nights. She was just jealous.
@Sara, non taken! Everyone has there own opinions.. Although I don't know why people don't understand that newly married couples like to have their own private moments.
@Sarad - this n exactly! My honeymoon pictures, please don't ask! Most of them were family pics and ALOT were my SIL posing on her own! She'd hand me camera to take her pics and when I tell her to do ours, shed only take one or two before moving the attention back to her. You know not a lot of couple pictures for memory :(
@ s n s, what can I say! I don't understand their mentality!
@chic pinnacle - yes, I guess! Hope things are looking better for you. IA
Most in laws tag along as a form of control so that their son doesn't get too much "qabo main" of the new bahu. Some husbands do change after kids but some don't. I hope for all you girls out there that they do change. At least you girls have a good relationship with your husbands, some girls don't have that luxury.
Hopefully!
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
oh my my, i cant even imagine how OP bears all this, but really you have a lot of patience, i must say :) Bravo !!
i can relate as well but then reading ur post made me realize my inlaws are quite nice people lol, though we didnt have a honeymoon, just went to murree (yes, like newly-weds haha) with all the inlaws family for one day inclusive married SIL :s pretty boring that was. and Yes, even i dont understand the double-standard logic.
and we dont go out for dinner alone, as my FIL MIL dont really like that, and they get pretty sarcastic if we go out for dinner, though i love to take them on and off for dinner or tea (on my own scholarship), but they really make us feel guilty if we go out alone sigh
But then again, may Allah give u more patience ;) love your little baby, urself n your husband :)
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Ok whenever your MIL and FIL wanna do something alone invite yourself and say ... "What you don't wanna be with me?" ... Any time your married SIL's decide to go out with their husbands invite yourself with them and invite your MIL and FIL too.
Trying to run away from them seems to only make them wanna come with you ... So try the reverse psychology route ... Be there all the time even when the FIL and MIL wanna go to sleep or want to talk privately ... Instead of them asking for the baby give the baby without them asking and when they don't seem to want him ]
that what i learn after my 7 years marriage experiment.i m also dealing with controling inlaws.1st 2 years were horible but now i take charge the home and kitchen and i feel it is the last option 4 me bcuz we can,t seprate as my husband is younger child in 4 brothers and they all live on their own place so we have to stay with his parants rest of their life.
ok this is a small introduction.what i do i always try to stick with my husband specialy when he is with his parants.i can,t aford to let my inlaws to brain wash my hubby as it created so many drama in past.
i allways try to make a program for outing or milna milana when my mil is not availble(feeling sick or visiting other sons)she tries her best to give 2 of us no privacy but i also try not give them privacy.when she is at home i give them baby when they dont want and then we go 4 visiting some relatives or outing i make the excuse that since baby is disturbing so we cant bring her with us.this way she cant tag with us everywhere
but it works oftenly my mil is very chalak.dont ask me she got no chances otherwise she could be the primeminister of pakistan
Re: Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Hahaha just on a funny side as everyone saying about double standards, about evil SILs and evil MILs but aren't you all girls SILs to your brothers's wives? how does your bhabhis rate you as SILs and your moms as MILs?
Inlaws not so happy with me visiting mt family abroad..need advice
Seriously I would never be like that and tell my mom now that when my brother gets married they better give him his space. He's still quite young though and living separately is the way it is on my side of the family anyway. No one lives with inlaws. It's different on my inlaws side. Just the thought of my husband moving to another state for work was such a drama and all my doing and my fault :P