In-Laws deciding name...

[Sweetmoi]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

This is obviously a sensitive issue for your husband and I think you need to handle it carefully.

How is the other "someone" related to you, who has picked the name?

[Paheli00]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@ZareenKhan

LOL. I am sorry but this is really silly here. All of you who are telling her to bring in the argument that she is the one who is gonna give birth to the child, etc etc…well that’s really lame! She is giving birth to the kid but she def needed him to have the baby :halo: so high time we stop playing this “oh my kid…” emotional blackmail.

I am nt saying what he is doing is right, it definately is not and she should step up and let him know that. However, giving him silly and lame arguments like some of you guys have suggested is only gonna make things worse.

Her being pregnancy, giving birth etc. does not give her more rights than the husband when it comes to naming the child. They both have a right to decide what the baby will be named. The husband has chosen to give up his right…and that’s his decision. But’s it’s beyond ridiculous for him to dictate that she give up hers.

To OP: Zareen is actually right in the sense that the physical acts themselves should not be specifically brought up (ie. pregnancy, giving birth etc.). The only “reason” you need to give him is that you’re the mother of the child, and you will exercise every single right you have upon that child…which includes the right to voice your opinion regarding his name.

[Reidi_gul]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

In my family, both maternal and paternal grand parents suggest 3 to 4 names and the parents to be choose one name from them or if one side of grandparents are being insistent in naming the child, the parents to be suggest 3 or 4 names and let the grand parents choose. This way every one is involved and every one is happy.
Simply ask your FIL to suggest more names saying that since you already have this name in ur side of family, you dont feel comfortable naming ur child ibrahim. It is not that much of a big deal that ur husband is making. You are not asking ur FIL not to name the child. Just approach ur FIL ur self. In these situations hardly any person would act like a monster and get offended.

[terebina786]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@Reha

I would just pull out the “I am the one giving birth here, not you so I get to pick” card and that’s that.

This. If I’m pushing the kid out of me, I get to name him/her if I please. End of story. I don’t understand where this thing came from where in laws think they have a right to name grandchildren. They had their turn and named their kids… Let someone else have a turn at their own kid. Sheesh. :halo:

[ZareenKhan]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

@Paheli00

Her being pregnancy, giving birth etc. does not give her more rights than the husband when it comes to naming the child. They both have a right to decide what the baby will be named. The husband has chosen to give up his right....and that's his decision. But's it's beyond ridiculous for him to dictate that she give up hers.

To OP: Zareen is actually right in the sense that the physical acts themselves should not be specifically brought up (ie. pregnancy, giving birth etc.). The only "reason" you need to give him is that you're the mother of the child, and you will exercise every single right you have upon that child.....which includes the right to voice your opinion regarding his name.

Agreed there. I never said the husband is right in this situation either but that doesnt take away his right over the kid. Just like him willingly giving away his right to name his child doesnt mean the wife has to do the same.

It's just about handling the situation the right away! Two wrongs don't make a right. If he is being unreasonable, she doesnt have to do the same.

[ZareenKhan]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@Reidi_gul

In my family, both maternal and paternal grand parents suggest 3 to 4 names and the parents to be choose one name from them or if one side of grandparents are being insistent in naming the child, the parents to be suggest 3 or 4 names and let the grand parents choose. This way every one is involved and every one is happy.
Simply ask your FIL to suggest more names saying that since you already have this name in ur side of family, you dont feel comfortable naming ur child ibrahim. It is not that much of a big deal that ur husband is making. You are not asking ur FIL not to name the child. Just approach ur FIL ur self. In these situations hardly any person would act like a monster and get offended.

:k:

[Sara516]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

Exactly how is she being unreasonable??????

[Reha]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@ZareenKhan

LOL. I am sorry but this is really silly here. All of you who are telling her to bring in the argument that she is the one who is gonna give birth to the child, etc etc…well that’s really lame! She is giving birth to the kid but she def needed him to have the baby :halo: so high time we stop playing this “oh my kid…” emotional blackmail.

I am nt saying what he is doing is right, it definately is not and she should step up and let him know that. However, giving him silly and lame arguments like some of you guys have suggested is only gonna make things worse.

Why do you always stoop to badtameezi? If you feel like addressing my post, do it. Don’t be sneaky about it.

No wonder.

[ZareenKhan]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@Reha

Why do you always stoop to badtameezi? If you feel like addressing my post, do it. Don’t be sneaky about it.

No wonder.

I think you are suffering from mad cow disease so i’ll just let u be!

[Reha]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

@ZareenKhan

I think you are suffering from mad cow disease so i’ll just let u be!

Like I said, no wonder.

[Afshi]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

two words.

Good Luck.

Why grandparents want to get involved in naming their grandchildren is beyond me. They got to choose their own kids names, it's their last name being passed down, yet they can't even let the mother and father name their own child?

My cousin's father in law was so upset with her because she chose a name for her son herself. Really? He should just be happy that she married his son and gave him a grandchild.

Get them a pet cat and have them name it themselves.

P.S. Reha - don't even bother. It's not worth your time.

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

well said

@ZareenKhan

LOL. I am sorry but this is really silly here. All of you who are telling her to bring in the argument that she is the one who is gonna give birth to the child, etc etc…well that’s really lame! She is giving birth to the kid but she def needed him to have the baby :halo: so high time we stop playing this “oh my kid…” emotional blackmail.

I am nt saying what he is doing is right, it definately is not and she should step up and let him know that. However, giving him silly and lame arguments like some of you guys have suggested is only gonna make things worse.

[Paheli00]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

@Afshi

Why grandparents want to get involved in naming their grandchildren is beyond me. They got to choose their own kids names, it's their last name being passed down, yet they can't even let the mother and father name their own child?

Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case here. OP hasn't mentioned anything about the in-laws insisting that they pick the child's name.

The main person here pushing this seems to be the husband himself. His grandfather picked his name....so now he seems hell bent on making this a tradition that his father will pick his child's name (with no regards for his wife's feelings).

[Afshi]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

well then, he's an ullo.

The wife should just take his (rhymes with falls) since he's clearly not using them anyways and stand up for herself. Maybe have the ILs choose the middle name as a compromise.

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

this must be interesting, lets see who wins, do update us on the result

Maybe I'm feeling emotional and crazy cos of pregnancy hormones...but this has been making me super-depressed lately. My hubby wants my FIL to name our first kid. The problem is, the name they've picked (Ibrahim) is a name that someone else in my family, who is also pregnant, has already picked out for her baby and she told us this before I found out I was pregnant. They also picked another name (Azeem), which my husband and I both don't like - hubby was able to tell his father this. However, when I asked him to convey that Ibrahim isn't going to work out either...he got all defensive. He thinks I'm being unreasonable. He wants there to be complete naming authority given to his father, no questions asked. His reasoning is that his grandfather named him (kind of), so he wants that same tradition for our baby. Apparently, asking my FIL to suggest another name would be disrespectful. =/

I don't know what to do, since I'm not against my in-laws giving suggestions/naming our baby...but I want to be on-board with the name they pick. And another thing is, my husband hasn't considered my parents thoughts on the matter at all. This is their first grandchild, and the first boy in our family. He won't budge from his father solely choosing the name though.

How do I approach this without making everyone go nuts? =/

[ABC1111]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

The women here are one scary lot. I'll make sure GS remains restricted on my future wife's lappy otherwise there is going to be a drama every other day

[njgal]

Re: In-Laws deciding name…

Get them a pet cat and have them name it themselves.

[njgal]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

@ABC1111

The women here are one scary lot. I'll make sure GS remains restricted on my future wife's lappy otherwise there is going to be a drama every other day

I don't think women on this thread are being unreasonable nor scary. What is scary is letting a grandparents making decisions that parents should make for their children. What is next - does she have a say in where he goes to school.

Sensible grandparents give options and preferences for their grandchildren lives. They don't dictate their choices.

[Milly]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

I really don't mean to offend anyone with my opinion, especially seeing as i've not been in this situation, but as this is the interwebs I am allowed to share share what I think.

Whilst I admit your husband's way of explaining to you is a little out of order and if you can, you really need to explain to him that he should not be so uncompromising with you, especially when you are pregnant! My parents and in fact no parents in our family have ever named any of their children. We were all named by either grandparents, aunties or uncles. Yet, we still live and exist. :/

I would be more concerned about taking good care during pregancy and raising a happy healthy child. Yes, it is annoying that you don't have any say in the matter, however I think you do, you just need to speak to your FIL about it. Perhaps suggest a few names that you and your husband like. Or chose a name that can go before or after the name your FIL has decided or a middle name.

Good luck pet!

[STA]

Re: In-Laws deciding name...

How cruel our desi society is. lady who is actually going through terrible pain has no right of proposing name. may Allah guide us. Aameen