Re: In-law problems
ok i really read the post this time. in the universe where this happened, the step sis slept next to the OP, not her husband. and just once, while they were at some guesthouse. main problem OP has is that the step-sis is chipkoo to them coz she has no one else to associate with. 
Re: In-law problems
Op, I don't trust the girl. She's disturbed all right, but she doesn't seem innocent. Your absences didn't make them miss u, it made them bond closer. Not so sure if jetting off to ur mom's will actually help matters.....or if the absence will provide an advantage to those u leave behind. Think all the consequences through.
Re: In-law problems
Yes, you are in denial and being VERY naive.
Well unfortunately for you…your husband would rather kick you out of the house than go against the 15-year-old girl. He cares more about her than he does about you or this marriage. No matter how innocent/silly/stupid you think the 15-year-old is…she’s defnitely smart enough to have YOUR husband wrapped around her fingers.
If you husband willing to let this girl sleep next to him while you are present…just how far will he let her go when you’re not there?! 
Re: In-law problems
Yes, husband is being unreasonable…but why the what the how the hell is nobody doubting the girl? I don’t trust her. 
Re: In-law problems
the girl is a snakey so and so, there’s no doubt about it. but it’s the adults in this situation that i’m more worried about.. i mean, koi uss ghar mai khuda ka banda hai ya nahin? 
Re: In-law problems
I think majority of us realize just how chalak this girl is. OP is the only one who seems to think she’s “innocent”.
However…at the end of the day she’s 15. It’s up to the ADULTS to set appropriate boundries when children/teens living in the home start behaving inappropriately.
Re: In-law problems
I think majority of us realize just how chalak this girl is. OP is the only one who seems to think she's "innocent".
However....at the end of the day she's 15. It's up to the ADULTS to set appropriate boundries when children/teens living in the home start behaving inappropriately.
She knows fully well that there is tension in the marriage, but she's not backing off. As clingy as she was with OP....if she truly cared about her, why was she not bothered by the OP's absence when she'd go out with the husband to the movies, etc? If she's craving mom's attention...why not go after mom. A stepbrother can't give you the attention that a mother can...if that's what she's missing. If she wants female attention...why not cling to the OP instead of her husband? She lost her dad to cancer so why not cling to her stepfather to fill the void of a father? The husband might be a buddhu, par larki ziyada taiz lagti hai. Being disturbed doesn't have to mean that one is also innocent or completely clueless about their actions.
Re: In-law problems
OP, no one from here really knows your husband or your step sil. May be she is innocent and just developed a bond with your husband. You live with them and can judge better. (But again some people are bad at judging people, like my husband.)
you want to try and spend more time with your husband.
Meet him during his lunch hour, or meet him at his office after he gets off and go out on a date a couple of times.
See if that changes his behavior or if he even wants to be with you on those dates.
Re: In-law problems
Sigh it's not black and white as you guys think. Agar he allowed her to sleep its because he likes her some other way. No it's not like that because my husband is a very straight forward person, we were staying over at the guest house because we were shifting to a new place and the beds were dismantled at our new plc. My husband was really tired because of the shifting and he loves his sleep like more than anything in this world. When my sil came from the other room saying she is scared my husband asked me to go sleep with her and I did, she constantly disturbed me saying I hear this and that so I went back saying I can't sleep. During that time my husband was asleep, she came back and said I can't sleep alone so my husband said get ure mattress here but she complained about the fan and went back only to come again and sleep in our bed. By that time hub was asleep again and I got uncomfy in the small bed with 3 pplplus I was super mad so I asked hub to go sleep in her room and he did. Than she got up again after a while to sleep in her room complaint about the fan again. During this time again my husband was asleep in the other room and I woke him up saying I want to go home. He was mad at me because I didn't let him sleep. But yes he should have scolded his sister who was disturbing him more.
anyways what I'm trying to say is my husband treats her in a nice brotherly, non physical way. So I don't doubt my husband at all! My husband loves me and I know that, we aren't as close as we use to be but he would still fight for me any day and has done so. But this sister is trying her best to come in between and she i don't trust likin I know as long as I have my husband on my side, I don't need to worry about her hence I want to shift out ASAP and reduce the bonding sessions.
All I want from this thread is some advice on how I can get through to my husband on the moving out option without sounding whiny or aggressive.
Also I would like to add my husband does but his sister in place often enough if HE thinks she is crossing the line so it's not always bonding sessions and they don't go out to movies alone without me they watch it in the lounge and whenever they are together I am always there not part of the conversation though but sulking in the corner.
Re: In-law problems
She does cling to me the whole time my husband is in office. She doesn't cling to my FIL because he is never home and the same with my mil, sil has been raised by a series of maids, it's like me and my husband have adopted her as our own child, but this child plays us against each other and comes in between us maybe because she has realized when we are happy together, she doesn't fit into the equation. That's my analysis.
Re: In-law problems
she fancies your husband, has a teenage crush on him.
I think you need to move out asap.
Re: In-law problems
blogger - you are naive and stupid, your 'SIL' on the other hand is not.
Re: In-law problems
She does cling to me the whole time my husband is in office. She doesn't cling to my FIL because he is never home and the same with my mil, sil has been raised by a series of maids, it's like me and my husband have adopted her as our own child, but this child plays us against each other and comes in between us maybe because she has realized when we are happy together, she doesn't fit into the equation. That's my analysis.
If she's close to you and you trust her without a doubt and are absolutely certain that she doesn't have an agenda...then talk to her. Explain to her that the intention is not to hurt or avoid her, but a married couple needs their privacy sometimes and there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed (the bedroom issue). Maybe she never witnessed a healthy interaction between her own parents and doesn't quite know what's acceptable behavior. Encourage her to have friends her own age....maybe even consider getting her to invite school friends over...so that she becomes more comfortable socializing with her own age group. Act based on ur intuition then, OP. I'd be curious to know how she reacts after u have a talk with her.........as in will she understand and cooperate with you ...OR....will she become more stubborn and draw closer to your husband? Her reaction may give u a better idea about her intentions.
Re: In-law problems
This is the craziest thing I've read on here
I kinda agree with Munz! Your husband sounds like a creep. A 15 year old is a grown girl, almost a woman, actually some 15 year olds look much older than they are. I can't believe your husband and her shared a bed!
Re: In-law problems
I don't doubt the husband. I've seen some guys get develop a soft spot toward what they perceive as childly affection. He might, just like the OP, think she's disturbed and sympathize with her that bechari lost her dad to cancer and mom is hardly around, etc. If he doesn't have any siblings or sisters of his own....this might also account for for his behavior. He DID move to the other bedroom when OP told him to, he didn't insist on sleeping in the same bed with the sister. And when the sister later moved to the bedroom he was in, he may have been sleeping already and couldn't do anything about it. If the sister had a problem with the fan being too high, she could have lowered the speed, or turned it off for a while, or gotten herself another chaadar or blanket if she was cold, or shift to her mom's bedroom or take the sofa....it didn't have to require her getting up to sleep in the other room where the husband was. I don't doubt his intentions...it's the girl that I'm not sure about.
Re: In-law problems
All I wanna know is who slept in the middle when all three of you were on the same bed?
Re: In-law problems
Ok got my answer on page 2.
Re: In-law problems
I hope your step SIL doesn’t resemble Alicia Silverstone :eek: The Crush (1993 film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Re: In-law problems
Please stop for a sec. Dont defend your hubby and dont defend the SIL either.
Start from the top and read each and every post of yours with a clear mind and then come back and tell us, something creepy is not going on?
Re: In-law problems
Father and son can marry mother and daughter (different parents) .. Think the below link explains it fine