Re: In-law problems
Blogger, if your husband can't be reasoned with...can you take your FIL into confidence? Request that he not tell ur mil or the girl or ur husband that you approached him....and instead discuss this with your husband as though it were HIS OWN observation. Would that help?
Re: In-law problems
You need to move out.
Re: In-law problems
Im not that close to my fil... do you think i should take this matter more seriously because till this day everyone's section except mine was so normal to it as if there is nothing wrong if the sil sleeps in the same bed with her bhai and bhabhi and that too step bhai, not related at all.
she slept on his one side while i was at his other btw.
Re: In-law problems
So your husband slept in the middle…in between the 2 of you?!
Given that you wrote that you don’t doubt his loyalty…I’m not so sure it’s his intelligence that should be matter of concern here. You husband is willing to share a bed with a na mehram girl while you’re present in the same room! How can you be so sure that he’s not taking it to the next level with other na mehram women when you’re not even there?
You need to tell your mother what’s been going on. And yes, I agree with S02. You didn’t leave that night b/c your family lives in a different city. Well since your husband doesn’t see anything wrong with his “closeness” with the na mehram girl…you need to leave for your mother’s house and let your husband know that you will not return unless he’s willing to set some appropriate boundries between him and this 15 year old girl.
Re: In-law problems
Are you people trying to kill me today?! First the mother wanting to sleep in the same room as the son and wife, and now the SIL…
I would’ve kicked his butt right out of the damn bed!!
On a side note, have you tried talking to your SIL? You’ll need to word everything carefully but in a way which will send her the message loud and clear. And if that doesn’t work, then maybe give your husband an ultimatum because there really isn’t much else left.
Re: In-law problems
I know, right? It’s like the in-laws in these threads are evolving/mutating over time to produce a greater variety of treacherous behavior. What is in the water? Is it air borne?
Re: In-law problems
Wait until you start hearing about the FlLs/BILs!
I was actually thinking the exact same thing when I read this! I mean I consider myself to be very liberal for a desi but dang…what’s going on with all these females wanting to share a bedroom with a married couple?! I guess I should be grateful that no one from my husband’s family has tried sharing a bed with us yet lol.
Re: In-law problems
i don't think talking to the 15 year old girl about this would be wise, if your husband doesn't understand and your relationship with your fil is not that close then you really need to consider moving out because your family won't take kindly to you telling off a 15 yo, especially when she can spin it any which way she likes.
Re: In-law problems
how big this bed it is?
Re: In-law problems
I agree with you, she is just 15 year old and i think she is dumb in matters like these, she won't understand the severity of it plus i have given her many hints in the past to let me and my husband be alone, but she doesn't seem to get it. My mil is also very chalak, and she twists word around to suit her, i wouldn't want to run anything through her or my dad in law, after all she is his wife.
this is something i need to sort out with my husband. i know if i had my husband on my side on this, all of these inlay problems won't matter but like i said recently i have seen him being ultra nice to sil where as being very harsh and mean to me. Says to me very often that you give me hard time even when i hardly talk/whine anymore about anything!
Re: In-law problems
it was a queen size bed, not big at all
Re: In-law problems
how big this bed it is?
i was wondering the same thing... me my husband and our itsy bitsy baby can't fit into a queen size bed (Sadly our baby doesn't take the hint); I don't even want to think of how you three managed.
I'm sorry blogger but your husband is really stupid' and i mean really really stupid.
I really don't know how you will convince your husband to move out without being the villain here ; but I think you should throw the whole "islamic" view of pardah in his face every now and then (when the occasion calls for it) even if he doesnt like it.
Re: In-law problems
It seems your inlaws are not very sharp. My advice is to smooth things over with your husband first. You are not getting through to him and even if you are...he is refusing to listen because you're arguing/fighting. When people fight, they do not listen. So ignore your SIL as much as possible and try to patch things up with him first...then you can talk to him about your concerns.
Re: In-law problems
I dont think the husband is stupid - I think he's a creep.
he's getting cheap thrills.
Re: In-law problems
the problem with this thread is the solution is simple, but no one dare say it. :\
Re: In-law problems
Like I said my husband only thinks of her as a little sister and I'm not being naive here, she is after all only 15 yr old who does stupid stuff and discusses girlfriend and her parernal side problems with her brother. She is a troubled child who lost her father, mother is never home and her fathers other kids don't think of her as their sister anymore. Having said that my relationship with my husband takes priority over solving her issues and problems and sympathizing with her hence this thread. If my husband was harbor ring any such cheep thoughts I would have mentioned but as I said I don't doubt his loyalty
Re: In-law problems
^ completely agree 
with muniya
Re: In-law problems
so what 15 yo male or female has no jijhak or trepidation with that kind of physical closeness???
most kids by age 12 or 13 no longer feel comfortable with physical proximity of that kind even with their parents … let alone a man who became a brother by marriage just a short while ago
time to sit the kid down and have the birds n bees talk … throw in a few lines about sharam o haya too!
you might want to have the sharam o hay talk with your husband too!
ask him does he really want to expose his dear sister to his morning salute? or reach for her in his sleepy state?! holy crap! i feel nauseous typing this!
WTH man! … even siblings of opposite gender born of the same mother dont share beds or rooms once into adolescence.
Re: In-law problems
A bigger bed isn’t the solution and three’s a crowd when one or two are unwilling. 
The answer lies in…yes that’s right…a bunk bed.
Re: In-law problems
How long has your husband “known” this girl…meaning how many years has it been since your fil remarried?
Im sorry OP, but I find it absoultley ludicrous that your husband can jeopordize his marriage and defend someone who is not even his blood relation over you. He’s willing to fight with yku and kick you out of the house over her chalka harkatain (ans make no mistake ablit it…this 15 ye old and hee mother knkw EXACTLY what they are doing..their is no innocence or naievity here)
i don’t know what you’re hoping will happen, but I would either demand to move out or get the hell out myself…what utter nonsense