Those types of men usually don't feel the need to be "imported" abroad. If they're educated and hold decent jobs, they are likely to have a rather good standard of living back home, have loads of marriage prospects locally and don't feel the need to look abroad for prospects or be "imported." If they have skills, hold a decent job and work hard and are looking to settle abroad, they usually do it on their own and not via marriage. My fiance works with a couple of such gentlemen.
I'm not saying that this is always the case because everyone's situation is different, but it's what I've noticed.
I agree with Mezhgan
I am a Senior Engineer, getting handsome salary in Pakistan, good life style.
If a really want to go abroad i can choose immigration path.
If a girl will 'import' me i might feel pressured all my life :)
It might be suitable for those who don't see a future here or somehow financial weak or jobless.
I do pray for PCG to find a very decent ,caring and understanding guy :)
my friend married a guy from pakistan. he was a normal sharif guy, who even completed his Masters here. problem is that he lost his job now, cant get permanent residence and has to go back to karachi leaving his expecting wife. inshaAllah my friend will be applying for his permanent residence soon and he will also be looking for jobs.
so what scares me most if the guy is good are immigration issues.
I know of a few families who’ve imported the groom. Although, in general, what I’ve seen of the hard working/professional type is that they tend to blend in (or at least try) with the prevailing environment. So you’re not necessarily getting someone more mature or grown up just by going there to look. Sure, they might not be into video games there, because they’re not marketed to their demographic. However, I know of some when they’re imported, as per the prevailing environment, they do get into gaming. Here it’s considered a normal hobby for them. The ones whom who don’t are those you might consider too religious, who don’t even have a TV in their house. Otherwise, I’ve seen that even among adult desi men, having a game console is almost as common as a TV.
Those types of men usually don't feel the need to be "imported" abroad. If they're educated and hold decent jobs, they are likely to have a rather good standard of living back home, have loads of marriage prospects locally and don't feel the need to look abroad for prospects or be "imported." If they have skills, hold a decent job and work hard and are looking to settle abroad, they usually do it on their own and not via marriage. My fiance works with a couple of such gentlemen.
I'm not saying that this is always the case because everyone's situation is different, but it's what I've noticed.
True.
Rather even when some of them have moved abroad on finding a good proposal, have problems in marriage.
I currently have a class mate who moved to Canada with his Canadian wife, is not happy at all, he was doing well in his job in Pak, and hates having to start from scratch only coz wife doesn't want to go back.
Anyone and everyone marrying a uk or us girl is doing it for the Greencard. Don't fool yourself. The difference is that some people are cool, and will continue the marrage and some litterally just wait for a permanent card and leave. But everyone is doing it to come here.
expect to afford this guy for a year. Meaning expect to pay rent, utilitites, food, and even some of his expenses. Even if he has money.
I pay all the expenses, and cook clean. My husband stays home all day and acts like a MAN, like I have to pick up all the plates, he will leave them everywhere, at times he checks in on me. Like he will litterally ask for my phone and look at it. I hate him, but my relatives are the biggests jerks on the planet, if I were to end it. They would have a bigger party then my wedding. Seriously, so for me, I would rather be a loser in front of 1 guy vs, 100.
Anyway, expect to teach this guy, like how to go places, how to do things, its going to take him 6 months to get a good understanding of things.
BIGGEST ADVISE TO ANYONE, DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY CASH. IF YOU BUY A COAT OR SOMETHING FOR THE GUY ITS FINE. DO NOT GIVE CASH. my husband asked me for cash, i put my foot down and said no, after that he didnt ask again. Do it upfront the first time he asks. If the guy leaves u fine, he would have left you 3 years later and would have taken you money as well.
Also, remember, it takes time for the guy to adjust as well, it is a bit of a culture shock for him and myself. Some things are acceptable in different cultures and some are not.
If I could go back in time, I would NOT have gone to pakistan, I would have continued to try to find someone here. I am not saying all guys are bad, its just that you are taking a bigger risk going back.
Remember, its kind of like a job interview. whoever you meet overthere, will be on there best behavior. It is very difficult to judge someone for a month or 6 months or whatever. And for me, he acted so sweet and nice, I never had that before. I thought he was the greatest thing. Once we got nikka, he was an jerk. I have to learn to deal with an jerk.
It reads worser then it actually is… Just trying to make the point that you are adding addittional issues like, finanial support, cultural differences, expensive immigration issues, and also the fact that in the back of your mind your thinking will this guy leave once he is able too?
End of the day, any marrage its a 50/50 chance that it will work. regardless of where the guy is from. but better to find someone here if u can. if not then go back. Going back should be ur last option
What about the guys or girls who were brought here in Canada and then dumped by their spouse? It's my story and this happens once in a while but it happens, so should I start saying that no never marry any girl and guy from abroad because you never know what they're up-to. No I won't say that because there are still some nice and decent guys and girls out there, not in majority but they're. Same like my cousin in Pakistan got proposals from abroad but my aunty declined all of them that they can't dig into as they're in Pakistan so can't take risk instead they marry her to a nice traditional guy who have a modest earning, small family with good background and she's happy mash Allah and these are the important things to consider to marry somebody rather than loads of money and high education .
Ive seen a lot of ‘imported' marriages here. Some have really worked since the guy or girl has come over settled down and worked to support their families. Like my parents for example my dad came over and worked really hard he wasn't interested in green card etc because he really cares about my mum. However having said that I also know some who come over and are total jack asses and need to get the f#$% back lol.
My point being that its risky wherever you go. If and when you do have someone in mind to get married to from there make sure you find out about him and his family education personality etc. Try and ask people around who know him and his family but arnt inclined to sugar coat things. Ask for family friends opinion etc. Atleast that way you have a less biased view on the guy.
I agree a guy whose willing to leave on the next available flight, is not what anyone wants. I have a good friend who is a lawyer and has dealt with a couple of these cases. Whereby a girl has imported a groom. Needless to say both of these cases didn't end well.
Just dont do it.
My Couzin is an a very attractive, educated and all round decent girl. Her parents were divorced when she was a teenager. She was finding it so difficult to get married in the traditional sense, because her patents divorce was seen as a taboo. And she would get these proposals that were beneath her. Her mother was really adamant she marry a pakistani Shia guy. She was arranging her marriage in Pakistan. My cousin went and hated the guy, the family she said they treated her and her mother with such disrespect. Anyways, she cane back to the states whilst doing her Masters, fell in love with a really decent guy, goodlooking, was in her program, the fact that her parents were divorced was not an issue (Caucasian guy). This was about 20 years ago and MA they are still so happy and she says that it was difficult at first with her mother but as the years passed and she saw her daughter was loved and respected so much she said that it gave her peace.
These importable men are seriously not worth it!
I've been told and in my own experience, a guy from outside of Pakistan appreciates his wife's efforts but guys from Pakistan ( not all but most) think it's a given that you would do these things for him.
Take my advice Join a study program in Dubai or Pakistan or some US state wherever there's a majority desi population and sooner or later u'll find a good match. If ur already done with y the studying then get a job in one of these places. U might even grow to like living there. Generally I think its easier finding a spouse while studying otherwise where r u going to have so much extra time to really spend with ppl, or where u can just be u. In the family setting its too pressured. I know a lot of ppl who found spouses in school or through work. If u go sit in the mountains to find urself that's all ull find! (Thats just me trying to be funny). On a seperate note what does finding urself even mean. I never get it. No matter how much anyone explains it to me. Or no matter how many times I read Eat Pray Love. (It's a book about nothing, travelling and nothing). This concept just evades me.
yes, pakistan as a country was wiped off from the face of the earth yesterday. nothing remains but the caves, camels, and bombs. didn't you hear?
lol no...do you have any links to the news? i'll appreciate it if you can provide at least one link to any newspaper. :p
Anyone and everyone marrying a uk or us girl is doing it for the Greencard. Don't fool yourself. The difference is that some people are cool, and will continue the marrage and some litterally just wait for a permanent card and leave. But everyone is doing it to come here.
expect to afford this guy for a year. Meaning expect to pay rent, utilitites, food, and even some of his expenses. Even if he has money.
I pay all the expenses, and cook clean. My husband stays home all day and acts like a MAN, like I have to pick up all the plates, he will leave them everywhere, at times he checks in on me. Like he will litterally ask for my phone and look at it. I hate him, but my relatives are the biggests jerks on the planet, if I were to end it. They would have a bigger party then my wedding. Seriously, so for me, I would rather be a loser in front of 1 guy vs, 100.
Anyway, expect to teach this guy, like how to go places, how to do things, its going to take him 6 months to get a good understanding of things.
BIGGEST ADVISE TO ANYONE, DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY CASH. IF YOU BUY A COAT OR SOMETHING FOR THE GUY ITS FINE. DO NOT GIVE CASH. my husband asked me for cash, i put my foot down and said no, after that he didnt ask again. Do it upfront the first time he asks. If the guy leaves u fine, he would have left you 3 years later and would have taken you money as well.
Also, remember, it takes time for the guy to adjust as well, it is a bit of a culture shock for him and myself. Some things are acceptable in different cultures and some are not.
If I could go back in time, I would NOT have gone to pakistan, I would have continued to try to find someone here. I am not saying all guys are bad, its just that you are taking a bigger risk going back.
Remember, its kind of like a job interview. whoever you meet overthere, will be on there best behavior. It is very difficult to judge someone for a month or 6 months or whatever. And for me, he acted so sweet and nice, I never had that before. I thought he was the greatest thing. Once we got nikka, he was an jerk. I have to learn to deal with an jerk.
