There is a huge rishta market of doctors.....especially those working towards US qualification...and ultimately working in the US.......those who have cleared the steps or whatever the exams are called.........
since the guy is semi-cooked, the amreekan families pick among those guys and if things settle, the guys get imported into US.......
know of a couple of cases, things worked out fine....
however, the cultural differences need to be looked into......because the ''liberal'' guys are usually from the affluent class...and they don't need marriage to immigrate.....they can do that themselves.......
rest of the guys are more likely to be 'conservative' aka pakistani fob retards (as understood in guppan world).....AND they are 100% sure to have an accent and 'traditional (aka jaaahil) mindset.......
so a liberalish guy, looking to move, especially through shaadi.......won't be easy to find....
There is a huge rishta market of doctors.....especially those working towards US qualification...and ultimately working in the US.......those who have cleared the steps or whatever the exams are called.........
since the guy is semi-cooked, the amreekan families pick among those guys and if things settle, the guys get imported into US.......
know of a couple of cases, things worked out fine....
however, the cultural differences need to be looked into......because the ''liberal'' guys are usually from the affluent class...and they don't need marriage to immigrate.....they can do that themselves.......
rest of the guys are more likely to be 'conservative' aka pakistani fob retards (as understood in guppan world).....AND they are 100% sure to have an accent and 'traditional (aka jaaahil) mindset.......
so a liberalish guy, looking to move, especially through shaadi.......won't be easy to find....
I don't agree. You're equating conservatism with jahaliyat, and that is ridiculous! My mom's family in Pakistan is quite well off, but most would call us conservative. A person holding strict moral and religious values in no way means that he is a "fob retard" and I find it quite offensive that you would say such a thing!
I've also seen an increasing trend in guys from affluent families turning towards what is called "religious conservatism" because they have power and really don't need to answer to anyone about what they do/ how they act (and yes, the converse is also true).
In fact, it's often the middle class, and lower middle class guys who try to be one of the cool kids, by imitating what they think "liberal" people do.
That said, I do agree with what previous posts have said about the difficulty in finding a decent guy willing to move. As someone else already said, most such guys would want to make it on their own and not use marriage as a stepping stone.
You are not doomed, my friend. The pool gets a little smaller, but whoever is meant to be in your life will find you.
I am professional and was criticized like crazy for putting my career over the desire to marry, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I got picked on for giving some insight on the following forum about why the pool of eligible men in the US is so limited.
So I feel your pain. Honestly, just breathe. Don’t import a guy. The likelihood that it won’t work out is so high and you don’t want to be making mistakes for the sake of getting married.
My aunts used to stress out about me all the time, but my parents, particularly my father, told me to take my time until I knew what was right for me. I met my fiance on vacation with a bunch of my close girl friends when I was 32. We got to know each other over 2 years and then I decided I wanted to marry him.
It will happen when it happens. Just focus on building a happy life for yourself and the universe tends to deliver on its own. I know it doesn’t make the noises around you quiet, but have faith. People tend to pop up into your life when you least expect it.
the ''liberal'' guys are usually from the affluent class...and they don't need marriage to immigrate.....they can do that themselves.......
rest of the guys are more likely to be 'conservative' aka pakistani fob retards (as understood in guppan world).....AND they are 100% sure to have an accent and 'traditional (aka jaaahil) mindset.......
so a liberalish guy, looking to move, especially through shaadi.......won't be easy to find....
Although fewer in number, Liberalish, non-conservative guys definitely exist in middle and upper-middlish class. These guys wouldn't mind moving abroad through shaadi and they aren't controlling chauvinists like the rest, either. But as you and others have alluded to; they wont have a "life experience", accent, education (graduate from an alright Pakistani university), career, eccentricity etc that a foreign settled woman would be impressed with. I can think of so many now that i think of it.
I think, in addition to being largely unimpressed by guys back home and the risk of being used for green card, there is also women's ego and pride that keeps them from importing grooms.
^ Sorry can you explain what ego has to do with this? If a professional, established girl abroad wants a partner on a similar footing...how is that an ego issue? That doesn't make sense.
30's is not too late to look for someone in Pakistan.
Recently actress bindiya found her third American doctor husband while she decided to move back to Pakistan. so if she can find someone in pakistan then so can you.
I will strongly recommend you to contact rishtas aunties in pakistan, who can connect you with Pakistani abroad (UK, USA, Canada, Aussies, etc etc)
I dunno, I can think of a lot of guys in Pakistan in my community who are middle class, reasonably educated, decent values and balanced and not on crack cocaine, and not extremely religious.
I refuse to import a doctor. There are a bunch out there who have done med school, working on step exams or about to start studying and they have no residency in hand. Back 10 years ago, yeah, with some work and decent education from a med school in Pakistan you could get a spot here. No longer the case. There aren't even enough residency spots for American grad med students. Plenty of ABC specials and articles on the new crisis for med students who are stuck with 200k loans without residency and they're waitressing at restaurants to pay bills. It's pretty bad.
I dunno, I can think of a lot of guys in Pakistan in my community who are middle class, reasonably educated, decent values and balanced and not on crack cocaine, and not extremely religious.
Meh. We'll see.
Do you realize how condescending that word is? Import? If you really want to import, you are better off importing something from China. Batteries of course aren't included.
^ With all due respect, people often use that phrase to describe women married from Pakistan and brought to the UK/US/wherever ("import a bride") and no one ever points out how condescending or disrespectful it is (which it really is since we're talking about a person, not an object).
If people have no problem with that phrase being applied to women, what makes PCG's use of it to describe the male equivalent so egregious?
Loads of people have stated that they find it hard to believe that anyone would want to stay in Pakistan because of the economic and security situation. This isn't so far fetched as not everyone living in Pakistan lives in an economically depressed, unsafe area, which they are dying to leave. While a large percentage of people might, a small percentage doesn't. The type of men PCG described (reasonably educated, well established in their profession, well off financially) are likely to be among this small percentage and probably live in more affluent areas, where the types of issues economic and security issues being described have little effect on them. It's likely that a person with the means and ability to leave the country who hasn't done so already, is probably content where they are.
^ With all due respect, people often use that phrase to describe women married from Pakistan and brought to the UK/US/wherever ("import a bride") and no one ever points out how condescending or disrespectful it is (which it really is since we're talking about a person, not an object).
If people have no problem with that phrase being applied to women, what makes PCG's use of it to describe the male equivalent so egregious?
Not too not long ago, men often beat their wives with a broom handle. Doesn't make it right. When did I ever say that its acceptable if its applied to women? I would have been just as nice to her if the topic was "importing" brides.
But of all things that have been mentioned in this thread, this is what got your knickers in a twist? Bash Pakistani men, bash Pakistan, but God-forbid I express disapproval for the word import for human beings.
Do you realize how condescending that word is? Import? If you really want to import, you are better off importing something from China. Batteries of course aren't included.
It is what it is. Getting offended is your choice.
There is a huge rishta market of doctors.....especially those working towards US qualification...and ultimately working in the US.......those who have cleared the steps or whatever the exams are called.........
since the guy is semi-cooked, the amreekan families pick among those guys and if things settle, the guys get imported into US.......
know of a couple of cases, things worked out fine....
however, the cultural differences need to be looked into......because the ''liberal'' guys are usually from the affluent class...and they don't need marriage to immigrate.....they can do that themselves.......
rest of the guys are more likely to be 'conservative' aka pakistani fob retards (as understood in guppan world).....AND they are 100% sure to have an accent and 'traditional (aka jaaahil) mindset.......
so a liberalish guy, looking to move, especially through shaadi.......won't be easy to find....
disagree. you can find men in upper middle and middle class who are decent and liberal and not controlling.
also if one belongs to conservative family that doesn't make him or her non-liberal or jahil.
besides, guys from affluent class are not by default liberal or non controlling. they are at times much more controlling and dominant. but that's a whole different debate.
PCG, Have you given this a thought that instead of importing a groom from Pakistan, why not you get yourself shipped over there? if you find the kind of guy you are looking for, will that matter where is he settled?
There is a huge rishta market of doctors.....especially those working towards US qualification...and ultimately working in the US.......those who have cleared the steps or whatever the exams are called.........
since the guy is semi-cooked, the amreekan families pick among those guys and if things settle, the guys get imported into US.......
know of a couple of cases, things worked out fine....
however, the cultural differences need to be looked into......because the ''liberal'' guys are usually from the affluent class...and they don't need marriage to immigrate.....they can do that themselves.......
rest of the guys are more likely to be 'conservative' aka pakistani fob retards (as understood in guppan world).....AND they are 100% sure to have an accent and 'traditional (aka jaaahil) mindset.......
so a liberalish guy, looking to move, especially through shaadi.......won't be easy to find....
you mean only the liberal guys from an elite class are eligible to marry some foreign girls and you sound like they're the only sane people in Pakistan. For the marriage only liberalism matter or are there any other qualities need to look after like his family views, family background, friends which matters most rather than having lots of money or some Phd degree.
Who are you say that rest of the Pakistani guys are Jaahils? First do some introspection before calling other Jaahils.
men back home look forward to such opportunities to get a green card...there is always this risk that the man may walk away from the marriage bond as soon as he gets his status. this is a real risk and girls importing the husbands must keep that in mind and act accordingly.
i think finding a "shareef laRkaa" from a "shareef Khaandaan" is the key to success.
Brother but sometimes a Shareef ladka from Shareef khandaan doesn't get along with some foreign Pakistani girls because he's too shareef for them.:)