Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

I beg to differ.

well each to their own. I expressed my opinion and ur free to disagree!

42

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Yes, but I'm asking of sheer curiosity? :) if you feel that way personally, then you are obviously free to do so.

43

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Well i believe our caste tends to be more hospitable, more welcoming and tend to be in general more lively and fun.

:) there are always exceptions though :p.

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Pakistan doesn't have a caste system, we have a clan/tribal system(people confuse that the caste system) and most people prefer to marry within their clans/tribes or at least ethnicity but that isn't true for people in urban parts of Pakistan.

The difference between a caste and clan/tribal system, is that the former has a hierarchy whereas the later does not, most Pakistanis do not even know how the Hindu caste system works or what the 4 varnas are -the only noticeable caste in Pakistan would be the Christian converts who descend from outcaste Hindus, and continue to be discriminated in Pakistan, other than that Pakistan doesn't have a 'caste' issue.

45

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

.

46

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

More is usually a perspective...

I think lots of times "lively and fun" is viewed as loud and obnoxious in more refined circles.

The caste system is definitely something I find funny because lifestyle is dictated by other things...not necessarily caste.

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

^ I don't care about the caste system and my parents can look beyond it. But....it's almost like you're implying that those who are "lively and fun" are less "refined".......or ......that those who are more "refined" view these two traits (liveliness and fun) with contempt......and that sounds kinda off.

I understand that it's a subjective matter, but "lively and fun" don't necessarily have to translate into the kind of fun that is boisterous, rowdy and devoid of things like morality and etiquette and consideration for others.

48

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Did you get Mr. Monk's permission before you made that fine point?

49

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

RV -

What can one expect as an answer when a certain caste is considered "more lively, fun, welcoming and hospitable" than the rest...with a few "exceptions" of course?

The caste system is stupid in my eyes because of this mentality and if one can dish it out then one should be ready to take it as well.

The traits described are acquired through upbringing - not one's caste.

Besides...its a perspective isn't it? If one can believe themselves to be a certain way because of their caste...others can also label them a certain way because of their caste.

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Reha-

If one finds the comment that "a particular caste is more lively and fun than the others" to be an arrogant view......then saying that the more "refined peoples" find such liveliness to be obnoxious also reeks of arrogance. So, we're fighting arrogance with arrogance....or contempt with contempt? Or perhaps contempt with even greater contempt? How does dishing it back harder resolve anything? And I think what Zareen meant by "a few exceptions" is that not everyone in her caste is a certain way....at least that's how I read it; I may be wrong.

I am not on any team here. But I didn't perceive Zareen's post as "dishing it" to anyone. She simply shared a preference. We don't even know what exactly she meant as "fun and lively." Perhaps she meant that the way her family does things (customs, traditions) is more fun and lively.........she certainly didn't take a dig at the character of the people of other castes by calling them less refined. Fun and liveliness is just one aspect of a personality and culture whereas "refinement" refers to overall character and conduct. We all have preferences. I will admit that I will lean more towards a Pakistani rishta than an Indian or Arab one because I have a greater comfort level with my own culture.... It's a preference...I am not looking down on the other two...I am not dishing anything out...I am not attacking any group's character....so do I need to be put in place or to have it dished out to me. I don't think so.

51

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

I personally wouldn't have an issue marrying out of caste but my parents only consider rishtas that are the same caste as us. When I asked them why this was so important they told me similar castes have similar lifestyles, they speak the same language, their traditions when it comes to things like marriage/children/death are the same. I think in the grand scheme of things it makes very little difference, especially in this day and age. 100 years ago living in Pakistan? Maybe.

52

Pathah nahi. I'm born and raised abroad but have always had it drilled into us about the vast tracts of land our ancestors had/family currently owns and how if we'd never wanted to work in our lives, our land and heritage would sustain us forever more. Alhamdulillah if that's what floats your boat! What I was recently told re: this rishta and his background was that Rajpoot are a warrior class and known for their strength and valour but ultimately, they were employed by others to fight their battles, etc. which would qualify them as a 'serving' class and therefore 'lower' than us. Astaghfirullah, May Allah SWT protect us from pride, arrogance and obnoxiousness in this life. Ameen.

Having said all this, I do believe that you can tell the difference between casts. However, instead of background, what makes the BIGGEST difference in uttnay, baitneh ka thareekah is education. Sadly, only the 'upper' casts have traditionally had access to this and therefore that is what's been reflected when it comes to the traits a cast displays.

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Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Having said all that: Islam does state you should consider marrying someone for 4 reasons- beauty, wealth, lineage or religion. It depends on different people/families how much they value one thing over another.

54

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

^It also says to marry out to spread + strengthen the ummah..

If you prefer to marry within your race or caste as a matter of personal preference there's nothing wrong with that but imposing it on your kids and others is obviously wrong..

55

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Just seen this :smack: :smack:

‘In addition to the Ashraf/Ajlaf divide, there is also the Arzal caste among Muslims, who were regarded by anti-Caste activists like as the equivalent of untouchables.[SUP][/SUP][SUP][/SUP] The term “Arzal” stands for “degraded” and the Arzal castes are further subdivided into Bhanar, Halalkhor, Hijra, Kasbi, Lalbegi, Maugta, Mehtar etc.[SUP][/SUP][SUP][/SUP][SUP][/SUP]The Arzal group was recorded in the 1901 census in India and are also called Muslims “with whom no other Muhammadan would associate, and who are forbidden to enter the mosque or to use the public burial ground”. They are relegated to “menial” professions such as scavenging and carrying night soil’

Source: Caste system among Muslims - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Absolutely ridiculous..

56

Of course. I believe in this wholeheartedly myself. It's a shame others from a different generation don't agree and will see what someone's grandad did 115 years ago as a marker if whether or not they're worthy human beings :(

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

were punjabi Arians and my cousin married a mirpuri jatt/jutt however you say it. Everyone was totally against this marriage stating oh how bad mirpuri jatts are blah blah. The funny thing is, only outsiders objected to the marriage. Non of the family members did. Now their married and very happy (mA). just goes to show you that do whatever you want, marry whoever you want. People will always talk but at the end of the day as long as your happy who cares. times are changing and caste is no longer important, especially in the west.

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

**I am going along with what I read...not what I think she meant by it. Words and actions are the doer's responsibility - not mine or yours.

I am also only sharing my views. My opinions. My preferences. I don't think they were anymore arrogant than what I read. Besides, its 100% true. What you might consider to be lively might be viewed as obnoxious and unpolished by many others. That's even true when it comes to kids. Parents might find their own kids to be just kids when they're being loud but others might look at it as neglecting discipline. Its not a dig at someone's character, its a POV.

If being proud of one's caste is possible, its also possible to be looked down upon by another for being from a particular caste, no? There's positives and negatives to this caste issue and one should be willing to embrace it 100% if you're to use caste as a factor when finding a spouse. Its not me - its how this caste system works and why its wrong in the first place.

**

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Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Giving importance to something that was not in control of someone (like which caste they should born as) does not go too well with me. I pray that Allah un ko hidiyat dai who decide on the basis of caste if to marry or not.

Education, manners etc are of more importance to me because they are in control of person himself/herself.

60

Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage

Arians aren't a caste neither are Jatts, the first one is a clan and the later is a confederacy of different clans -Pakistani people confuse 'caste' with ethnicity/clan, they aren't the same...