Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
^ casting doubts on this issue
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
oh, i didnt know that. thought they were. im sure they are coz ive googled it (so reliable lol).
[quote="SummerFruits"]
were punjabi Arians and my cousin married a mirpuri jatt/jutt however you say it. Everyone was totally against this marriage stating oh how bad mirpuri jatts are blah blah
Arians aren't a caste neither are Jatts, the first one is a clan and the later is a confederacy of different clans -Pakistani people confuse 'caste' with ethnicity/clan, they aren't the same...
[/QUOTE]
Okay, I'm confused now- what is a cast? Clan? Confederacy of different clans? We're Gujjars (Takkurs) who have lived in Punjab forever. What is our cast/clan? My ancestors had the Takkur/Takkurain title whereas over time, the men have the prefix Chaudhury :S
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
More is usually a perspective...
I think lots of times "lively and fun" is viewed as loud and obnoxious in more refined circles.
The caste system is definitely something I find funny because lifestyle is dictated by other things...not necessarily caste.
Double post
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
More is usually a perspective...
I think lots of times "lively and fun" is viewed as loud and obnoxious in more refined circles.
The caste system is definitely something I find funny because lifestyle is dictated by other things...not necessarily caste.
Ok and why shud that affect me? I have to marry so it should be my preference, i dnt give a care about what "refined" people like you may say or feel.
And with your above comment and unability to take another persons opinion, you really showed what your refined kind must be. No further comments!!!
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Reha-
If one finds the comment that "a particular caste is more lively and fun than the others" to be an arrogant view......then saying that the more "refined peoples" find such liveliness to be obnoxious also reeks of arrogance. So, we're fighting arrogance with arrogance....or contempt with contempt? Or perhaps contempt with even greater contempt? How does dishing it back harder resolve anything? And I think what Zareen meant by "a few exceptions" is that not everyone in her caste is a certain way....at least that's how I read it; I may be wrong.
I am not on any team here. But I didn't perceive Zareen's post as "dishing it" to anyone. She simply shared a preference. We don't even know what exactly she meant as "fun and lively." Perhaps she meant that the way her family does things (customs, traditions) is more fun and lively.........she certainly didn't take a dig at the character of the people of other castes by calling them less refined. Fun and liveliness is just one aspect of a personality and culture whereas "refinement" refers to overall character and conduct. We all have preferences. I will admit that I will lean more towards a Pakistani rishta than an Indian or Arab one because I have a greater comfort level with my own culture.... It's a preference...I am not looking down on the other two...I am not dishing anything out...I am not attacking any group's character....so do I need to be put in place or to have it dished out to me. I don't think so.
Thank-you! You understood it perfectly fine.
Funny how people having issues with "caste systems" cuz oh its such backward thinking are actually proving theirself to be backward to the core by having such narrow mentality and lack of tolerance for someone with a diff opinion.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Oh its such a crime to look for comfort and ease by finding someone with similiar lifestyle but its perfectly fine to dish out for rich, taller, handsome guys!!!
great logic.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Ok and why shud that affect me? I have to marry so it should be my preference, i dnt give a care about what "refined" people like you may say or feel.
And with your above comment and unability to take another persons opinion, you really showed what your refined kind must be. No further comments!!!
Its not about me not being able to take your opinion. LOL. The caste system is basically entirely ALL opinion and not an iota of real fact.
The way you feel about your caste is exactly how others feel about their own. You feel you're more loud and fun and lively and others feel that's a synonym for...a zoo I guess. No offense of course.
If you feel you're better than most - there are plenty more out there who feel they're better than you. Sabse oonchi zaat to nahin hai na? Kisi se neechi to hogi? And that mentality is exactly what I have an issue with. Your caste is your zaat. Zaat creates differences among already existing differences. Its unnecessary and a burden on society that just keeps being peddled around as if its holds any merit or value. Its exactly like the concept of jahaiz. Backward.
Lifestyles are not matched by caste - they're matched by upbringing, culture, education, language, etc etc etc.
Oh its such a crime to look for comfort and ease by finding someone with similiar lifestyle but its perfectly fine to dish out for rich, taller, handsome guys!!!
great logic.
Hmmm...not sure what you're referring to but looking for a rich guy is seen as equally shallow.
If you want to find a match - try to **be **his match based on things you can control and take credit for. Being from a particular zaat is not a qualification. Its like being born with a birth defect - can't take credit nor be blamed for it.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
When I read Harry Potter I realised my family were the Malfoys. Awkward.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
I don't believe it caste marriage, but if I dont I'll probably make my family be looked down on. Feels bad
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Oh its such a crime to look for comfort and ease by finding someone with similiar **lifestyle **but its perfectly fine to dish out for rich, taller, handsome guys!!!
great logic.
What does lifestyle has to do with caste? Lifestyle has more to do with culture than caste. Hope we understand the difference b/w 2
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
I personally wouldn't have an issue marrying out of caste but my parents only consider rishtas that are the same caste as us. When I asked them why this was so important they told me similar castes have similar lifestyles, they speak the same language, their traditions when it comes to things like marriage/children/death are the same. I think in the grand scheme of things it makes very little difference, especially in this day and age. 100 years ago living in Pakistan? Maybe.
One minute silence for our yet unknown brother
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Its not about me not being able to take your opinion. LOL. The caste system is basically entirely ALL opinion and not an iota of real fact.
The way you feel about your caste is exactly how others feel about their own. You feel you're more loud and fun and lively and others feel that's a synonym for...a zoo I guess. No offense of course.
If you feel you're better than most - there are plenty more out there who feel they're better than you. Sabse oonchi zaat to nahin hai na? Kisi se neechi to hogi? And that mentality is exactly what I have an issue with. Your caste is your zaat. Zaat creates differences among already existing differences. Its unnecessary and a burden on society that just keeps being peddled around as if its holds any merit or value. Its exactly like the concept of jahaiz. Backward.
Lifestyles are not matched by caste - they're matched by upbringing, culture, education, language, etc etc etc.
Hmmm...not sure what you're referring to but looking for a rich guy is seen as equally shallow.
If you want to find a match - try to **be **his match based on things you can control and take credit for. Being from a particular zaat is not a qualification. Its like being born with a birth defect - can't take credit nor be blamed for it.
where and when did i say i am better than most or for that matter my caste is? I clealry mentioned my preferene for my caste doesnt mean its better than the rest.
anyways this is where this discussion ends for me!
What does lifestyle has to do with caste? Lifestyle has more to do with culture than caste. Hope we understand the difference b/w 2
In my opinion, it does! Simple.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
[quote="“ZareenKhan, post:32, topic:327460"”]
In my opinion, it does! Simple.
[/quote]
Good for you! even simpler 
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Caste or zaat does not matter to me or my family but i would preferable not marry into any "Qabaili" family or any feudal family. The cultural differences are too much to handle.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
8/10 people will say that caste doesn't matter but in still in the end they end up marrying in the same or related caste.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
where and when did i say i am better than most or for that matter my caste is? I clealry mentioned my preferene for my caste doesnt mean its better than the rest.
anyways this is where this discussion ends for me!
As it should.
You mentioned your caste is known to be more hospitable, lively, etc. More than who?
Hospitality is part of tarbiyat...it has zilch to do with caste.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Pakistanis don't really follow a caste system ffs
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
Reminds me of a convo with a friend recently. She is a Shia Syed, Urdu speaking. Her mom is looking for a rishta for her older brother, age 30, who resides in Toronto. I just casually suggested a mutual friend of ours, also Shia Syed, but Punjabi. Our friend, permanently lives out of Pakistan, has done Pri sch to Uni abroad and works for a renowned bank now. An amazing girl, someone who I really look up too.
My friend replied saying her parents wont be keen on the on this suggestion at all because our friend is a Punjabi. She meets the Shia Syed criteria but not the Urdu speaking part. I asked my friend if it really would make her difference, since both her bro and our friend dont even live in Pakistan and actually speak Urdu and are not as typical as our parents' generation. She replied saying ''bohot farq hota hai yaar, qaafi cheezein different hoti hain tum shaadi karogi toh pata chalega.''
*
Khair, my 22 year old good friend abides by this caste thing! Uff.
And so do my parents, unfortunately. Parents and their families are Syeds and dont mind marrying their kids into a non Syed family, but will definitely prefer an Urdu speaking family to wed their kids into.
Me? I dont have much comments. Will wait and see.
Re: Importance Of Caste In Marriage
I am a Syed, and initially when I came to Pakistan I found it very wierd that so much significance was placed on finding a Syed for a Syed when it came to marriage;now I kind of understand why a parent would want their kids to marry within the zaat. Reason being that future generations of Syeds can claim to carry the on the blood of the Prophet and Imams. As an impartial observer I notice that there is a certain trait always attached to a particular caste. Spirituality being the trait most Syeds(supposedly) inherently possess is supposed to flourish in a better way when a Syed marries a Syed. At least that is the esplaination my parents gave when i questioned their objection to marriage outside their caste.
I never get that bit. I mean what's a pure bloodline, it's not like for 1400 years all the first cousins in the prophets family have been getting married to each other. And another thing ppl emphasize on is the sons carrying on this tradition, although the prophets lineage was followed through by his daughters as he never had any sons who survived. I think it's this really outdated custom that's going to die out in a couple more generations and then our kids won't even know what "caste" they belong to.
In the olden days it might have made sense since tribes had peace treaties and things like that with each other. Nowadays as long as the families are cordial to each other , it doesn't matter where they come from. I mean if u have b*tchy in laws from the same caste how's anything going to help u.
Btw my marriage consists of a syed and Punjabi/Pathan/Kashmiri mix. So smashed a bunch of stereotypes right there.