Re: I Wish
I went to an IVY league? I wish. I went to school in a swamp. Try that for your complexion.
Too bad. Here I was looking for a sugar mama.
Re: I Wish
I went to an IVY league? I wish. I went to school in a swamp. Try that for your complexion.
SWAMP THING!!! :D
Re: I Wish
Hey PCG ... Ramadan Mubarak !!! :)
I'm not going to disagree with your post like many here are doing ... I do favour married life, not because I'm married ... I don't necessarily favour it because it's easier, it's not necessarily easier. But I guess if I'm not mistaken you don't care for a difficult life ... you just want your life to have more meaning, even if it means more difficulty, perhaps. It's a challenge that you can handle.
Anyone here who would like to argue that being a single career woman has the same meaning in life as a mother and wife are deluded.
Perhaps a solitary life is free, but it can be damn boring even with friends, who are really equivalent to clockwork toys on your bedroom shelf, just turn the key when you need a bit of a noise. People here have been arguing the angle that married life is difficult ... but I don't think any of them say it is not fulfilling ... unless they have creeps for husbands - in which case it won't last.
What I think you are coming to realise is the "natural disposition" a human be they male or female are made in the Divinely inspired design to co-habit with another, raise children and create more society. This is the aspect missing from your life at the moment.
Now the choices we make ...
On one side we have Education - but education is not everything we learn in school ... Education is everything that is left after we have forgotten everything we learnt in school. In other words it is not our skill set, but WHO we are ... If education has not etched in to us the traits of:
Reason
Patience
Decency
Consideration
Dignity
Piety
Then education has availed us naught ... we have merely become a cog in the industrial/capitalistic well oiled machine. - This machine favours solitary people who have no devotion to family - but only to the cause.
Likewise, if marriage has not brought upon us the above traits then marriage is not beneficial either. But it has one thing - it offers a natural course to life ... and an opportunity to raise someone else - like a second chance for our own lives, in the person of another who shares our DNA. Often an educated person can lose sight of humility, often a person subjected to society in the younger years can acquire dirty habits like being argumentative, rudeness and being obnoxious. They are not truly educated according to my understanding of the term. Even if they can string a sentence together, grammar perfect. What is the point if they use irony, condescending, complex slur just to hurt another person's feelings or just to make their own "power" known?
Marriage is about sacrifice, but being happy in that sacrifice - let no one think or convince you otherwise ... Both parties benefit not from the other, but from the side-effect of trying to be beneficial for the other. Marriage is not about finding a mate that will benefit us, but finding a person who WE would like to benefit. A job is on the whole a selfish venture ... but marriage should not be that ... it should not be an investment ... it should be a way to express our desire to help another, and then others - through children. Sometimes the unlearned, humble wives of Pakistan realise that more than our educated women ... Perhaps our men do not realise that we should also view marriage this way ... We want "sexy" to show off to our peers and social circles - "look at my trophy" ... attitude ... No - marriage is not about that either.
But you see that is why I agree with you ... it is because today "education" is sold as "skills" rather than "virtues" and "career" is sold as "alternative lifestyle" rather than "a means to life" ...
Best advice I can give is:
Short term - adopt a pet, go and get pampered.
Long term - change career paths without compromising your employment status - i.e. only jump when you are secured for another position elsewhere.
The suggestion is radical - but change will bring a new lifeblood to your currently now stagnant position. Perhaps a less onerous role?
Lastly ... start to think how you life has led you to certain conclusions and reflect on how one can be "virtue" focussed rather than anything else that current life and society con us in to trying to acquire.
Re: I Wish
To Sahar02 - Judging by the length and depth of your post above you put a lot of thought into it. But based on that it also seems like the people involved are in close relationships with you. When you say "I have had to maintain relationships with girls like these," are you talking about friends or closer relationships (ie: cousins, bhabis)? Can you be more specific?
I'm asking because I've had to deal with similar issues but these issues have only been important when dealing with very close family relationships. Either sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins' wives...people I'm forced to interact with on a regular basis. I concur that relationships based on maturity, common personalities, and meaningful interactions are far more satisfying than those based on more superficial conversations, like clothes, or just gossipping about family members. However, there's nothing wrong with having a light hearted conversation about boys and makeup occasionally. Most girls do, if you don't like them for it, there's usually another reason behind it.
Of course I love light-hearted conversation. I guess the difference is that for these girls, it feels like it isn't light-hearted discussion, but rather a topic of real importance. I just can't understand that.
Re: I Wish
Sahar02- "I guess balance is important. And being open, honest, confident, and fun." It sounds as though you may be all these things and so are these other girls but you just have a separate, perhaps more personal issue with them because judging from a lot of your previous posts, you do enjoy talking about clothes and shaadis an awful lot! And maybe these particular girls think that that is all you are capable of chatting about and so in a bid to be friendly with you they may talk about frivolous things because they want you to be involved and think that is all you are about!
Ps- If you are so open and honest, why not just ask them to switch topics?
Re: I Wish
So have we been able to find a rishta for PCG yet or we all gona act like Pakistani government !!!!!
Come on people its 5th page . . . can't even one single man volunteer for this jihaad ?? Lets do it for sawab . . . its ramazan anyways . Shabash .
I think "that" girl is still unsure about who she wants to marry.
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I'm glad I'm a man.
Re: I Wish
Allah mian pleez jaldi se pcg ke zindagi me man ladho .. me iske rone sun sun ke thakgai hooh !
AllAh hU AkbAr !
Re: I Wish
Sahar02- "I guess balance is important. And being open, honest, confident, and fun." It sounds as though you may be all these things and so are these other girls but you just have a separate, perhaps more personal issue with them because judging from a lot of your previous posts, you do enjoy talking about clothes and shaadis an awful lot! And maybe these particular girls think that that is all you are capable of chatting about and so in a bid to be friendly with you they may talk about frivolous things because they want you to be involved and think that is all you are about!
Ps- If you are so open and honest, why not just ask them to switch topics?
Perhaps. I'm not sure how this comment relates to the questions you asked me in your first post. Seems to come out of nowhere.
Re: I Wish
I can talk about clothes and cooking for hours. :hinna:
Re: I Wish
I went to an IVY league? I wish. I went to school in a swamp. Try that for your complexion.
I am sorry then. Not that only Ivy league people are successful in life. But I am sure I read it in one of our blogs where you got accepted in ivy leave and the boy, said subject of that blog did not.
Again I am sorry to assume that you went to an ivy league because you got accepted there.
Anyways, I think people probably post here and look for sympathetic replies and not really a motivational advise.
Re: I Wish
Perhaps. I'm not sure how this comment relates to the questions you asked me in your first post. Seems to come out of nowhere.
Like I mentioned earlier, people generally feel as you do about close relationships (usually in laws unfortunately!) rather than acquaintances/regular friends. That's why I pointed out that perhaps these people may perceive your interests a certain way and therefore cater their discussions around you accordingly, to be inclusive. Anyway, I was just trying to find out what type of relationships you were talking about and to make sense of why you felt about these people the way you do because your second paragraph about them also seemed to come out of nowhere.
Re: I Wish
There are many topics of conversation I don’t enjoy having with women around me namely those that involve clothes, food, shaadis, kids and other mundane aspects of married life. I want to have conversations about politics, religion, history, world literature but how many people can you actually have those with? I try not to judge those who are are incapable of talking about these but are sweet and unmalicious otherwise. But if you’re incapable of talking about these yourself and then are quick to judge other women without recognizing your own flaws I think you have a serious problem.
Re: I Wish
...
I'm not going to disagree with your post like many here are doing ... I do favour married life, not because I'm married ... I don't necessarily favour it because it's easier, it's not necessarily easier. ... Anyone here who would like to argue that being a single career woman has the same meaning in life as a mother and wife are deluded.
People here have been arguing the angle that married life is difficult ... but I don't think any of them say it is not fulfilling ... unless they have creeps for husbands - in which case it won't last.
What I think you are coming to realise is the "natural disposition" a human be they male or female are made in the Divinely inspired design to co-habit with another, raise children and create more society. This is the aspect missing from your life at the moment.
Then education has availed us naught ... we have merely become a cog in the industrial/capitalistic well oiled machine. - This machine favours solitary people who have no devotion to family - but only to the cause.
Likewise, if marriage has not brought upon us the above traits then marriage is not beneficial either. But it has one thing - it offers a natural course to life ... and an opportunity to raise someone else - like a second chance for our own lives, in the person of another who shares our DNA. Often an educated person can lose sight of humility, often a person subjected to society in the younger years can acquire dirty habits like being argumentative, rudeness and being obnoxious. They are not truly educated according to my understanding of the term. Even if they can string a sentence together, grammar perfect. What is the point if they use irony, condescending, complex slur just to hurt another person's feelings or just to make their own "power" known?
Marriage is about sacrifice, but being happy in that sacrifice - let no one think or convince you otherwise ... Both parties benefit not from the other, but from the side-effect of trying to be beneficial for the other. Marriage is not about finding a mate that will benefit us, but finding a person who WE would like to benefit. A job is on the whole a selfish venture ... but marriage should not be that ... it should not be an investment ... it should be a way to express our desire to help another, and then others - through children. Sometimes the unlearned, humble wives of Pakistan realise that more than our educated women ... Perhaps our men do not realise that we should also view marriage this way ... We want "sexy" to show off to our peers and social circles - "look at my trophy" ... attitude ... No - marriage is not about that either.
Lastly ... start to think how you life has led you to certain conclusions and reflect on how one can be "virtue" focussed rather than anything else that current life and society con us in to trying to acquire.
loved your post psyah but who is gonna believe you here ...
Re: I Wish
Like I mentioned earlier, people generally feel as you do about close relationships (usually in laws unfortunately!) rather than acquaintances/regular friends. That's why I pointed out that perhaps these people may perceive your interests a certain way and therefore cater their discussions around you accordingly, to be inclusive. Anyway, I was just trying to find out what type of relationships you were talking about and to make sense of why you felt about these people the way you do because your second paragraph about them also seemed to come out of nowhere.
oh i see the reason for the confusion. i wasn't speaking of inlaws. the op asked about whether she had gone down the wrong path in order to be successful in life, and my point was simply that it's hard to completely change yourself (nor do i think it is worthwhile to change yourself into someone you're not just because you think it is what a random boy wants). it's not just about the path you choose in life but about the kind of person you are. i was thinking specifically of family friends and girls i knew growing up with whom i did interact because they were part of our circle/community but didn't really "connect" just because we didn't really have much to share. when it's actual close family like you mention, i think it is different, as mutual respect/love give you something to connect over, even if your personalities would not otherwise have brought you together. but i think that conversation is separate from the main point of this thread.
Re: I Wish
There are many topics of conversation I don't enjoy having with women around me namely those that involve clothes, food, shaadis, kids and other mundane aspects of married life. I want to have conversations about politics, religion, history, world literature but how many people can you actually have those with? I try not to judge those who are are incapable of talking about these but are sweet and unmalicious otherwise. But if you're incapable of talking about these yourself and then are quick to judge other women without recognizing your own flaws I think you have a serious problem.
GOod for you. no one'sstopping you from talking about what yo uwant to talk about.
But aren't you judging right there?
Whos' the one with the serious problem?
Re: I Wish
Because you think that will be the end of her ronay? Man are you naive! 
. It’ll just be the beginning of a new string of rants…
He leaves his clothes on the floor, doesn’t help me with the cooking, doesn’t help set the table or wash the dishes, gosh how hard is it to take out the trash once in a while, no appreciation at all for what I do for him…not even a compliment, didn’t notice my new clothes/haircut/makeup, I don’t even exist when his mom is around, God! He’s such a momma’s boy/jerk/pig/pervert, They’re his kids too…why doesn’t he help out with raising them sometimes, is it too much to ask to expect something for valentine’s day?, Pakigirl is a saint compared to my hubby’s mommy, I should have bought that moving pillow if I had any idea he doesn’t wanna touch me, OMG!!..you pervert… Don’t you know how tired I am tonight and every night? Seriously…how hard is it to remember my birthday/our anniversary? Wait why were you looking at that woman? …Did you just check her out in front of me?..I am not your laundress. Why did I not put it in the nikaah that I will not be your maid!!! He snores like a beast and I have to be up in an hour, I wonder where boy #2 is and what he’s doing, My day never ends…I come home and there’s a slew of things to do…so many people to pick up after. I miss those days when I was single and had more time to myself and to my own thoughts…=/
And the best part is that it’ll all be chronicled on GS. 
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:( Not funny, RV.
Re: I Wish
Aaaw c’mon…
Life isn’t perfect whether you’re single or married. Both have their pros n cons. Nevertheless I hope you find someone amazing and that things get better, Ameen.