I Wish

Lifestyle Relationships
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There IS a difference between a SAHM and just being a housewife. Generally speaking if u don't live with in laws or have kids or much else going on then life isn't as crazy as in these posts.

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^ true. But seem people really do enjoy being a home-maker. And they keep themselves busy with all the tasks and opportunities in creating that home. And that's great for them.

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How long does that last though Sara? 2-5 years? I really do not know any childless stay at home wives in America who do any of the stuff PCG claims in her original post . Even before the kids come, just living with and adjusting to another person is hard work. It's not all diamonds and roses.

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I have nothing against those who love being homemakers, whatever works for other families.

of course its not. I did mean to say life still isn't a bed of roses but my edit didn't go through (was posting from phone earlier)... no matter how ideal your situation looks to outsiders... it's not easy. BUT I live alone with hubby, and we don't have kids--so my life is nowhere near as stressful as the mothers' (SAHM or working) is, but like i said earlier in the thread...I would still prefer to work than be a housewife. I don't know what we'll do when we have kids though, but for now, I'm much happier working and earning $$

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I Wish

Even if someone is just a housewife where kids and inlaws are nowhere in the equation but that doesnt mean her life is any less productive. As long as she is living happily and creating a happy home that someone might want to come home to without resenment and animosity, its her life and her choices. She shouldnt be looked down upon and I am def not saying that you are saying that sara. Actually you bought up a good point about the women who stay at home but dont have responsibility of any other human other than the husband. These women are adjusting like khatti said ad even adjusting to a new person is difficult. Setting up a new life is difficult!! For anyone who is married, life is a constant piece of work!! Its not all dramas and dawats!!!

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All I can say is: it's never too late. You pursued higher education because that is what you desired. If its outcome is no longer bringing you the kind of contentment you need from life, go make changes.

Take a break from work, and pamper yourself. You can get yourself to look glowing and more youthful in no time. If your heart wants to settle down and find a husband, make a serious commitment to get what you want. You do seem to be goal-oriented anyway, so I'm sure you can manage that. Good luck and don't give up. :)

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I know u did not… i said this sarcasticlly…

i ageed with what u said.. espcially this one

…“You are in a prime position to evolve your mindset by better understanding yourself and accepting yourself … which will lead to more confidence and attraction, which so many people can’t do cause they simply don’t have that motivation or desire to.*”… *

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PCG, would you rather be someone who didn't have the independence you have now?

You have what so many women dream of...the ability to do anything you want. Please don't think less of it.

You're overworked and tired, I get it.

But do something about it. Go and live your life. Become happier. Its in your hands lady.

You're a go-getter, right? Go and get your life where you want it to be.

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Re: I Wish

  1. sometimes I’d rather be alone.

  2. Yeah I do have to think–granted, the things I think about aren’t the same as what YOU have to think about, but then you can apply this to almost every other profession that you’re not in…they’ dont have to think the samet hings you do and vice versa.

  3. Are you forgetting? We’re women. we’re judged no matter what we do, whether we work or stay at home or whatever.

  4. Somewhat, not always. it’s not like I go out shopping every day and then clubbing/hanging out with friends all night long. Since Ramadan started, I’ve been home every night to make sure he gets fresh iftari/dinner, I don’t make feasts or anything, but the least I can do is make him something fresh…so…my day is kind of planned around that. That may sound like the easiest life to everyone whos posted in thsi thread, but then I never said my life is AS stressful as someone who works/has kids, but things haven’t always been easy, and I’m not about to talk about all my problems here now am I.

  5. Theoretically, yes,. but I don’t always go shopping every single day or spend all my time working out. and what’s the fun in looking at things that I can’t have?

  6. Ok I’ll give you that. but what are you comparing that to? :konfused:

  7. Nope. If you’re lucky, your husband gives you pocket money and you do whatever you want with it. but someone who always buys you stuff–that’s not always the best thing. they’re human, so they must have some shortcomings as well that far outweigh the material aspect of it.

  8. True.

  9. Why is the completion of a Pakistani drama the standard? I don’t have a TV, but I like my USA network shows and follow those. and even when I was working, at the least, I was able to have a marathon day/weekend of brand new episodes of shows…I think that’s kind of fun.

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Ohh Boy I have so much to say but feel like that OP is just frustrated so never mind.
Just for reference thought google Marrisa Mayer the newly appointed CEO of Yahoo inc.

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roflol somehow i think she has plenty of money so does not have the same issues as regular people.

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:smack:You totally missed the point here.
She was not born with plenty of money. She achieved the status by her own hard work and she is a freaking CEO of Yahoo at the age of 30. Clearly she has worked her ass off. She is happily married and a child on the way.
Now PCG was complaining that due to her work she can’t even shower let alone do other stuff.

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So I will assume that she has had plenty of money for some years, right? So she could afford pay ££ to look good all the time since then, if she wants, right? Not to mention, pay to have her house cleaned and whatever else.

Also, she's not desi and if she was still single at 30, no one would be saying she's on the shelf.

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And what is stopping OP from achieving all that. PCG much like Myers went to an Ivy league. She is independent and looks like earning good money too.
Mayers isn’t desi and thats why she can be more successful? Thats just a lame excuse.

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Apparently, she got married 3 years ago at age 34.

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1) You obviously don't know what profession PCG is in, nor that she is still in the process of working-off-your-butt for long term achievement and to pay the bills and not the "I'm 30 years old, have everything and rolling in it" situation.
2) I never said she can be more successful because she ins't desi. -1 for comprehension. I said that if she wasn't married at 30, her community at large would not consider her too old for marriage.

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For the record I was not targeting PCG. As I mentioned in my first post that she seems frustrated so never mind.
Secondly, most people who achive success in life in do have work their ass off. Men and women both. That does not stop them to get involved in other things in life.
Thirdly, I belong to same desi community and admit that while there aren’t many girls who are not married by their 30s yet that does not mean there aren’t any who take their time to achieve their own set goals before getting married. I have couple of example in my own family.

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:emmy:

I just said k tension nai lene ka boss, bus dua karo tey chill maro.

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I went to an IVY league? I wish. I went to school in a swamp. Try that for your complexion.

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To Sahar02 - Judging by the length and depth of your post above you put a lot of thought into it. But based on that it also seems like the people involved are in close relationships with you. When you say "I have had to maintain relationships with girls like these," are you talking about friends or closer relationships (ie: cousins, bhabis)? Can you be more specific?

I'm asking because I've had to deal with similar issues but these issues have only been important when dealing with very close family relationships. Either sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins' wives...people I'm forced to interact with on a regular basis. I concur that relationships based on maturity, common personalities, and meaningful interactions are far more satisfying than those based on more superficial conversations, like clothes, or just gossipping about family members. However, there's nothing wrong with having a light hearted conversation about boys and makeup occasionally. Most girls do, if you don't like them for it, there's usually another reason behind it.