re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....
No matter what they say or do DO NOT go to Pakistan!!! you will ave no rights there at all and you can be forced to get marred to this guy and regret later why you even went to Pakistan.
Its best for you to find an excuse and not go. Just say that you found a job and ignore all the travel plans. Its their headache not yours!!you have been clear to them all along and didnt ask for ticket to Pakistan!!!
Ignore everything and focus on your own goals. Show respect to your parents but dont bend to ridicilous demands!!!
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....
brought tears to my eyes reading this, glad your in a better place now. do your parents still speak to u? hows your relationsop with them?
awww bless u:)
Yes my parents speak to me. In fact since I have moved away after I got married, they seem to realize that they will loose me and have been very kind. Though I am not very close or attached to my parents we still have a good relationship now. They love my husband and realized that I wouldnt be so happy with that cousin. in fact, my dad even appologized to me 6 months after I got re-married and he saw how happy I was and there was a domestic violence case going on with my other sister and her husband who is also a cousin..so he realized that I had got rid of that type of a man and he said he was happy for me. My mother has never said anything and I dont think she will......but the fact that I am very happy with my husband and dont show any grudge towards my parents have eased our relationship a lot.
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....
No matter what they say or do DO NOT go to Pakistan!!! you will ave no rights there at all and you can be forced to get marred to this guy and regret later why you even went to Pakistan.
Its best for you to find an excuse and not go. Just say that you found a job and ignore all the travel plans. Its their headache not yours!!you have been clear to them all along and didnt ask for ticket to Pakistan!!!
Ignore everything and focus on your own goals. Show respect to your parents but dont bend to ridicilous demands!!!
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail…
I’m a 22 year old guy from USA who was recently in the same position as OP. Unfortunately in my situation my parents wanted me to marry my 16 year old first cousin from Pak. I didn’t want to do it at first, but then I happily agreed to it after my parents talked to me and convinced me that she would be a good wife for me. I admit that I was really naive, and did not critically think about it. I was also busy with my college studies and I was also thinking about my parents happiness, so I went ahead and agreed to my parents.
With my busy life, I thought about this sometimes and had a lot of doubts about it. Some months later, my parents told my Uncle and Aunt that they wanted to marry me to my cousin. The same day I told my parents that I had decided that I don’t want to as I wouldn’t be happy with her. I want to marry an educated person. I’d rather prefer marrying someone from US and with education, and marrying my cousin would be uncomfortable since she is my first cousin. I received emotional blackmail from my parents, but I was able to come through and was firm to my parents about not wanting to marry my cousin. It was hard for me because of my parents being emotional about it, and also because I didn’t want to upset my parents. At first my parents were offended by the fact that I want to choose my own wife, and thought that I should be thinking about their happiness but also be happy with it, lol! I won’t be marrying or looking for a wife until I complete my PhD though.
My parents are taking me to Pakistan in June just to visit, so I don’t know if they’ll bring this up again. Hopefully they do not. I do not know how I will face my Uncle, and Aunt though. This is too embarrassing. Any advice guys?
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail…
Good on you, fella. Them taking you to Pakistan wont they try and get you married? You shouldnt be embarrassed as if you did go ahead and marry her you could potentially ruin your and her life. She deserves to be in a happy marriage and if your not happy then its going to get sour really quick.
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....
Good on you, fella. Them taking you to Pakistan wont they try and get you married? You shouldnt be embarrassed as if you did go ahead and marry her you could potentially ruin your and her life. She deserves to be in a happy marriage and if your not happy then its going to get sour really quick.
They told my Uncle and Aunt and agreed that they wouldn't get me married. They just want me to go to Pakistan to visit my relatives and just accompany them. I told them I have no intentions of marrying until I'm done with studies.
I like people my age or older and find them more attractive. Not teenagers, ugh! I've told my parents that I won't marry before I'm done with my studies.
Secretly, I don't think I ever want to marry. The more I think about it, it seems like marriage is suicide. I want to live a happy life. Of course if I find the right person then I will marry.
re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail…
Seriously WOWW. Glad we don’t have that crap in the states or foxnews would’ve let us know VERY LOUDLY!
To who it may concern, you shouldn’t go to Pakistan as escaping the marriage there will be hard even if you can get in touch with the consulate there. Parents like these need to have all of their kids taken away and then sterilized (both parents) to make them regret their choices. I can’t even imagine if I would ever want to murder my daughter if she didn’t do exactly as I wanted like in a marriage situation.
Reminds me of that south park episode ‘la petite tourette’