no its my life and i have to carry living it. Things happen that we can not control but we have to bear with it. the world isnt against me and iam not against it.
The signs where that he didnt want us to have our nikah sooner but wanted me to start the process to apply for marriage legally in the uk much sonner than i wanted. He brought his latop about three weeks ago. I saw suspicious folders but never opened them while iwas trying to install software onto his computer. Then he gave me his laptop for the entire night to fix and install stuff he couldnt.
I think it's really big of you and your mom to not humiliate him by telling others about him being gay.........although that won't necessarily stop him from doing the same to some other girl. The hurt will lessen over time. It's better that it happened now than much later. Continue your career/educational goals...and along the way...you'll inshaAllah find someone compatible. Think of it as a blessing that you found out now as opposed to years later....(after a marriage and children, etc).
@RV it just that i am considered old by desi standards if i go back to school i will finish in my late 30s/ 40s i just want him to tell me he isnt gay. rv can i pm you privately about this?
right now i think you shouldn't mention any of this to him when he comes over for breakfast(i think that's what you said) just until you've thought this through completely and made sure that this isn't some joke by him. you don't want to say something without thinking it through especially when you're so riled up right now from all that's happened.
it's best to think about what you want to say to him clearly, take a day to just get over the shock so you're totally calm when you confront him about this. don't you think that's better?
@RV it just that i am considered old by desi standards if i go back to school i will finish in my late 30s/ 40s i just want him to tell me he isnt gay. rv can i pm you privately about this?
I don't mind if you pm me....but if he's gay...you need to leave him.
You can continue your education and meet a guy who has no problems with you continuing it after marriage. Who said you had to wait until you finish your education to get married? Next time...investigate things more thoroughly.
@RV it just that i am considered old by desi standards if i go back to school i will finish in my late 30s/ 40s i just want him to tell me he isnt gay. rv can i pm you privately about this?
Getting old does not mean that you get desperate and marry the next guy you see passing by .
i m soo sorry rainyday... tht must be soo horrible.. u can PM me if u want to just rant...
btw if he is gay.. u should leave him. there is no point of being in an unhappy marriage. Good thing u found out before getting married...
If he is bi and ur ok wth tht.. then thts upto u.
I have never heard of a guy "joking" or "pretending" to be gay for 2-3 years.
good luck hun.. i will pray for u.
Hopefully everything turns out ok
If all the evidence you found goes back two to three years and has been continued till now then he is surely a gay. No ifs and butts about it.
I feel sorry for you and pray to Allah that he gives you patience and you find someone better . Ameen.
If all the evidence you found goes back two to three years and has been continued till now then he is surely a gay. No ifs and butts about it.
I feel sorry for you and pray to Allah that he gives you patience and you find someone better . Ameen.
ameen to that.
hope Allah gives you the strength to deal with this and move on rainyday.
Simply put you are better off knowing now than when you would be married. Accept this is Allah's way of saving you. Have faith and accept that he is not the man for you. And woman marriage has nothing to do with age. Life is better when you find an equal to share it with. Marriage is not the end all and be all of life. Sure it is great to share it with someone but you are still you with or without a husband.