Siren, you mentioned liking people at parties. The only sure fire way I have found is to invite them a couple of times at your house, Best to do it with multiple families at a time. Someone invites you back and then you start talking over the phone too. The only way to make friends is to pencil it in a calendar at first. Making friends when you are older is quite hard. I know some ABCDs who have made friends with Pakistani imports quite well. And these are educated, working ladies.
I have lived in three different states and the majority of people bring gifts when invited for the first time by the host.'
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We don't really have a classy desi community here. One time people insisted that we do a pot luck and I told my wife to be prepared to cook the entire dawat. I was right as these people showed up with alarmingly small quantities. I am not sure what benefit people get from these gatherings.
^ wow!!
People usually specify the quantity to bring if one is doing a potluck. But potlucks do not end well usually as people don't like cooking. I have seen successful ones too, but it's a bit stressful for me.
I can understand. I'm also very lonely like you.
I have friends, same group of friends since I was in school. After that I made a few friends in college and university but they never lasted. I had another friend we were extemely close for 3-4 years..it ended when i found out how she had spilled all my secrets to her other friends ( neighbors and all) after her I've hardly trusted anyone so I post here..
Its mostly about having the connection. I lack that with a lot of people and thinking.
I feel like such a dork even typing this, but I've just been so depressed lately. All my life, I've felt out of place and it feels like I've never truly had any friends. I can't relate to white people because my religion has some boundaries they don't understand. And for some reason, I still feel out of place with brown people. My husband tries to help by introducing me to his friend's wives, but they're all newly imported from Pakistan and we seem to have nothing in common because I've grown up in North America. Half the time I don't get their jokes or references and they don't get mine. Makes it really awkward for us.
We moved around a lot when I was a kid and I think I just never learned how to make friends with people. I have had brief "friendships" where I would find something in common with a bunch of people, but I could just never make it last.
I work full time now and even though I have my social anxieties, I'm still a fairly normal functioning adult. I work well with others and talk to the people around me, but I just never want to see them outside of work. I don't have any people I would consider more than a regular acquiantance, other than my husband and family. The people I used to hang out with in school were more "friends because of proximity" type thing, and we have since lost touch.
I don't know what's wrong with me; I can't seem to connect with people and I fear it's too late for me to learn how. It's not that I'm a total introvert. I do enjoy being with people (even if I do need "me time" to relax afterwards). So my question is, how do "normal" people (20-30 years old) meet new people and make friends? More importantly, how do they maintain these friendships?
Just be natural and down to earth, don't pressurize yourself on getting along with others and also don't try to live up to others expectations.
I was going to start a new topic but then saw this one.I need friends too. I have a few good friends but they all live in another city and I haven't been able to make any new ones where I currently live. I feel so depressed and lonely, sometimes.......... like right now :P
I'm no expert but I suspect reddit might be why I have no friends...
Nah...I am a reddit addict but got friends outside of it as well. I have actually made some pretty good friends through GS as well. @SaeedinPakistan@Mirch@STA
