the reason is my elder brother .i tell you a whole story .12 years back my father sent my elder bro to abroad for his higher education in other words for his career.he is been to uk,aurtralia and united states.he came to pak of and on.my dad ask him to come back to pak few times but he said he wana live abroad rest of his life reason he told pakistan condition is not good no jobs etc etc.so he studied there and does job as well.
years ago when he came to pak.my parents engeged him to my couisn.she is my mamu’s dauhter.when my mom ask him about this girl he didnt say yes neither no just said ok as ur wish.so we engaged him and he went back to abraod and he didnt come till yet.my bhabhi was studying at that time so both families decided that they will get marry when my bhabhi will finish her studies.
few days ago my mom went to lhr for a wedding and she brought my bhabhi to karachi for few days.i met with her after a long time.i dont know i felt she is sad,annoyed etc.she seems unhappy to me but when ever i asked her she said nothing she is fine.just misisng family etc.
few days ago we both were sleeping together i asked her forcely that tell me whats wrong then she told me everything and i was literally shocked to hear everything.she told me that she speaks to my brother quite often and he told her about his life in abraod that he drinks.he is into girls may be physically,he has so many female friends.he has a very different life then her.he stays late night outside.he loves parties he wnet to parties every other day.he went to clubs now he eats haram meat easily and the shocking part was he fallen love with a british girl as well but he cant marry her due to his parents(my parents).
about my bhabhi she is a nicest girl i ever met.she is educated pretty rich girl .she said how she will cope all these beautiful activies of my brother.she hates most of his activies drinking etc.i aksed her to tell my brother stop all these nonsence but she said she tried to but he didnt responce her well.she said if she will forced him he might think my wife is paindu how conservative narrow minded she is . how she will fit into my life style.what kind a girl she is she feels bad about these things she thinks this way her thinking is wrong she is so religous.she taunt him …
my bhabhi is religeous but she is a moderen girl as well.she goes to parties she has male friends but everything is in limits.my brother he forgot all his limits and i feel now he is totally out of track.she told me she just cant stand my bro’s activites she want him to stop but how she will convey him that he understand that this is not our culture.it will not benifit him anyway.
i hope u all understand my feelings so now do u have advices,tips ?
her sister is not responsible for her brothers actions. ager my brother is like that i wont ever let this happen, no matter how badly my mother treat me afterwards. i cant ruin some others girls life…when i know that i am also a gal, and same thing can happen with me.
ps. besides engangement is not nikkah, pata nahi kion larkian jantay boojtay wana try put herself through this
cuz, i can see she will be working aswell here…its not will be living like a princess after marriage.
I think your bro only got engaged cu zof your parents. He needs to break off the engagement & indeed if he has met someone there, then be man enough to tell your parents about it. After knowing all this, why is your babhi to be even giving him a chance?
I read your post carefully. Do you know what your problem is? Your problem is that you and potential Bhabi are trying to change your brother. And you know what? You can't change a person unless a person wants to change themselves. I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.
Even in the Quran, Allah says that he won't change a person's condition unless that person changes himself. Your brother has been living abroad for MANY years, and it seems that he has gotten used to this western lifestyle and he seems happy with it. So, it's going to take real effort for him to change......and only if he **wants **to.
Many girls have this naive view that they can "change" a guy. I'm sorry, but that is not a guarantee. I 've heard several stories of conservative Muslim women who are married to men that drink and do all sorts of haram.....but these men did not change after marriage or even after having children.
My intention is not to hurt you. But I'm trying to be reasonable and realistic here. It is POSSIBLE **that your brother **CAN **change after marriage. **BUT **it is also **POSSIBLE that he won't **change. And if he does **NOT change.......then the person who will SUFFER THE MOST.....is your Bhabi.
Your brother has been honest with your bhabi. And I feel the best thing to do is to cancel this rishta. Your bhabi deserves to marry a man who is compatible **with her and also **LOVES her. Right now, your brother is in love with this British girl. Right now, your brother's lifestyle is not compatible with your Bhabi or her beliefs and ALSO your brother doesn't love her.
Your Bhabi deserves to be happy. After all, she's your cousin and you don't want her to be miserable. I think that your Bhabi should say **NO **to the rishta and when the parents ask why she has rejected the rishta.....then they need to be told about your brother's lifestyle.
This is going to be hard.....but you need to do the right thing.
and we cant broke this relation.my bro has to come back to the track no matter what.
i and she dont know what to do thats why asking u people
you didnt have to say, she took that punishment from bro because she likes her too much.,
thats way I said EVEN if she INSIST , cut her lose. let her GO!!
For her own good. you brother is going to take time to wisen-up dont let girl suffer.
I agree with PM's first post (not the 2nd) but first i think you need to talk to ur brothers and ask him if everything ur bhabhi is saying is actually true. Tell him you want to help him, if he is in the relationship only because of the parents. maybe he is too scared of your parents and is telling ur bhabhi all of this so she ll back out of the engagement (so he doesn't look bad). anyways you should help them both.
:k:
I think it takes guts to admit faults within our OWN KIN; and you definitely have them. The best option would be to talk with your brother and ask him directly if he wants to marry this girls or not. As PM already said, DON’T push it, your cousin already suffered enough.
when your brother proclaims that he do all those things that ALLAH SWT forbid us to do then how come she can like him
what exactly she likes about your brother?
ps. his marriage will also bring problems for you. i think you should talk to your mother that your brother is UnFit For Marriage, and also talk to you brother that kisi or ma bhen baiti ka bayshaq khial mut rekho lakin apni ka zaroor rekho.
First it was your father's mistake who sent him abroad for education & or career.
No offense these countries are gutter more than good things. Yeah door kay dhol sohanay hotay hain. I know in our countries there is no life security but yeah in our country ppl do get gr8 education, career and achieve a lot.
No you got the result living in Gutter. Your brother is not in his senses. Now much you guys will change him. Will he be ever change. Or will he be remain sober and all for all his life after changing. No gaurantee at all.
That poor girl. She has to tell to her parents and tell them what she wants to do. Let her parents to decide. According to me that would be so bad for her. I don't like marriage of 2 different kid of ppl. I mean one is religious and other is totally in goray type mud or ****.
You sure have to try to correct him along with your parents. Tell your parents about everything they can handle it better.
If you will help your bhabhi to get out from this relation Allah will help you in other things.
Tell her to tell her parents and her parents to your parents. They will handle all themselves much better than you guys (cows joke).
and we cant broke this relation.my bro has to come back to the track no matter what.
i and she dont know what to do thats why asking u people
Yes she might like him very much but it's ok after sometimes she might like someone else. As you know she has other boyfriends tooo. I think it won't be a big deal for her after sometimes.
Why can't you break this relationship?
Yes he has to come to the track but by sacrificing her is so selfish.
Just ask her to tell her parents after that they will take care things themselve.
I STRONGLY FEEL HE DOES NOT DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS
HE IS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF YOUR BHABI, AS HE CANNOT SAY NO TO HIS PARENTS
AND HOW CAN YOUR BHABI WANT TO MARRY A PERSON THAT DOESNT WANT TO MARRY HER
AND IF HES REALLY IS DOING THOSE EVERY SINGLE HARAM THINGS AND LEADING HIMSELF TO CRISIS WHY DONT YOU INFORM YOUR FATHER.
I THINK YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BROTHER THAN YOUR BHABI.
GIVE YOUR BHABI A REALITY CHECK SHE CAN AND DESRVES SOMEONE BETTER WHICH SHE SHOULD LOOK FOR
my brother is like that i wont ever let this happen, no matter how badly my mother treat me afterwards. i cant ruin some others girls life…when i know that i am also a gal, and 