i m extremly sad and dejected

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Suhaina........is rishtay pe koi permanent contract hai? Calm down and think about what you are saying.

You said "we can't break this rishta"...........tumhari yeh soch BAHUT ghalat hai.
**
Suhaina, tell me something. What if **YOU were engaged to a guy and later on you found out that he drinks, eats haram things, and is in love with another girl? Tab tum kya karo gi?

Agar TUM is situation main hoti.........to kya tab bhi TUM yehi kehti k** "we can't break this rishta."** ?????? ** Yeh koi aqal mandi to nahi hai.**

If your bhabi has ANY respect for herself as a woman........then she will not accept a rishta with a guy WHO DOES NOT LOVE HER.

Your bhabi needs to have some IZZAT for herself instead of attaching herself to a guy who does not love her.........even if that guy is YOUR BROTHER!

EVERYBODY **who has responded to your thread has said that your bhabi needs to cancel this rishta. They are telling you the RIGHT** thing to do. Why do you want your bhabi to ruin her life? And why does your bhabi want to ruin her own life? BOTH OF YOU GIRLS are thinking with your HEART in this matter....and you both need to start using your HEAD as well!

1) Your brother does not want to marry your bhabi.

2) This rishta needs to end.

3) Your parents need to be told about your brother's lifestyle. I don't think your brother is lying about drinking, british girl, etc. Koi larka apni hi izzat apni hi family k saamnay kyoon kharab karay ga? Most likely he's telling the truth.

Think about it honey. It's easier to break an engagement........but it's MUCH HARDER to break a bad marriage in the future.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

R.V

a good post.

but il additon:

Th Boy has ot ruined his respect yet. As only the girls knows. He only told her so she gets put off and cancels.

When parents find out then he will freak out.

I have seen sucha situationbefore. One of my older cousins form pak who was getting arrnaged to marry a relative gil from uk. He told me to tell her evrything bad i could posibly think of what he gets up into pak= similar to suhainas.

I did this. But then the girls family took it seriusly and contacted his family. The Slob got shocked i actually kept to my promise. He denied all accusations leaving me with a bad rep.

Being a guy and with some with simlar expericne u gotta give my post credit

Bye

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

^ Well when the guy told his cousin about his drinking and being in love with a British girl..................he KNEW that he was taking a RISK by telling her this information. Zahir hai......when you tell a family member about your bad/haram habits.........that single family member COULD POSSIBLY tell the REST OF THE FAMILY.

Bottom line...........the guy KNEW that there is a possibility that his cousin will tell the rest of the family about his bad habits. He KNEW that his IZZAT will potentially be destroyed, so he took that risk anyways.

Also, maybe the guy was TOO AFRAID to tell his own parents about his lifestyle......and he took the coward's way out.....and thought it would be better if his parents found out about his lifestyle from somebody else.

This is not UNCOMMON. Sometimes people can be too afraid to reveal the truth to their own parents (immediate family).....but the feel more comfortable revealing it to someone else.....and they feel more comfortable if SOMEONE ELSE breaks the bad news to their parents.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

LOL why would he try to tell his parents as all those long years he didn't do that.

The truth is I will say that guy might be doing this to may be get out from this rishta through her OR might be a good person at heart and telling her how is he as she will know after marriage.

I will say that person at least realize and knows that whatever he is doing is wrong and it's nice of him he told that girl before marriage. I appriciate this why because (if girl is not stupid enough) then she can make her decision after knowing that.

  1. To marry him and let him do everything

or

  1. Quit from mangni by herself to her parents or by tellin her parents and they will take care of the rest.

Now she has optionions.

Red velvet no one wants to let his parent know that he is drinking and going for girls and bars in our desi culture. LOL

No matter what no one ever wants to tell anyone about a single bad thing about himself or herself until there is a need.

No matter whatever reason he felt to tell to this girl. What if her parents don't know that she is secretly contacting him and he knew that so that way she won't be able to tell her parents. You know what I mean. I'm sure you understood what I mean.

But no matter what she has to tell her parents if she is secretly contacting him that he does this and that.

There is might be a possiblity for anyone if you tell your secrets he/she can reveal this and every one know that red velvet very well. lol. Everyone knows that but still they share things to ppl but don't want to let their parents know for sure. lol

Sometimes you make me laugh.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Because some ppl don't want to listen the truth or other way against their thinking or opinion. That's ok for me.

I KNOW TRUTH HURTS.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

you should tell your parents what you just told us...
& break off this relationship because your ruining the girls' life...
let her go with her life & you guys should go on with yours...
& in the process fix that gay brother of yours

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

girsl and guys i m sorry to type engagemnt actually they are married..i mean they signature papers because of visa issue but we celebrated the function as a engagement i mean they exchange rings infront of many ppl we took picture to show embassy so we called this fuction engagement engagement so i write this as engagemnet here as well.

i dont know what to say.even my bhabhi admited that my bro is a nice guy.it is just a imviorment and may b freinds he has and may b no one is there to tell him..guide him thats why he adopted this westren culture too much.otherwise going in parties and having female freinds are fine..but everything is should b in decent and limited manner.
pindi i dont think he did all this to get rid of her because after ceremony i and my lil sis teased him many times about my bhabhi and he seemed happy to me

i think he does all that because i m finding clues . when he came back last time i saw some pics of him..he was in club and few pics with girls as well and i saw 4,5 pics of a particular girl i think she must b that british girl but i didnt notice that time..i thought he was having limited fun with freinds in club.girls are just a freind s to him and girl pics i didnt notice at all i remember i asked him who is she and he told me her name which i forgot now and told she is a friend so i let it go....

History Mystery- Part 3
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Suhaina, Be a man!

lol...

okay but in all seriousness. Do the right thing.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

i m a girl how can i be a man?

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Thanks for explaining.

He told her that means he know that whatever his is doing is wrong. So he might come to right path. Stil girl has option. Paper hi to sign kia hai. Agar larki chahay to chor sakti hai.

Agar aap ka bhai pasand karta hai larki ko to phir larki us ko badal sakti hai magar guarantee to kisi baat ki naheen ho gi.

At least tell her parents or ask her to tell her parents and they will decide.

It's a very risky mamla. That girl can't understand that much right now. As she might be fall in love and become blind to understand and behave what is right for her.

Paper bhi sign kar lia hai to kia huwa.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

i m gona talk to him this week..just worried about his reaction that how he will react to me :( elder brother u see

one more thing i wana add she is about to finish her studies and my mom is thinking for rukhsati because we didnt rukhsified her because of just studies :(

2 Heartbeats... Ma Shaa Allah :)
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Be confident yeah ask him.

Prepare well yourself first.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Look, Suhaina.....very few guys are going to LIE about drinking, eating haram, and being in love with a british girl.

Someone had suggested that his story might be a lie......but it's more than likely a TRUE STORY. This is not a light matter to lie about.

Even if your bhabi thinks your brother is the NICEST GUY in the world...........the FACT REMAINS that he DOES NOT LOVE HER. Your brother can be a very nice and honest person..........but he is not romantically interested in her.

Do you really want to put your bhabi through a potentially miserable marriage? And I understand that your bhabi is in love with your brother, but does she really want to risk her life like this?

If your brother had told your bhabai that "look I have some bad habits, but I really love you and I'm going to try and change and become a better Muslim"..........that would be a different story. But your brother didn't do that. Instead he told your bhabi that he loves another girl.

I think the answer is rather obvious. You know the right thing to do.........but you dont' want to accept it because you're still hurt over your brother's lifestyle and can't imagine him being with another girl who is not your bhabi. But many times in life, we dont' get what we want. Please consider the damage such a marriage could possibly have for both families.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Suhain its utterly shameful what your brother isup to.

We guys here are west born and bred even wer arnt up to thsi stuff.

Any way. Hes has way crossed the line. I dont think some as good as your bahabi shud marry him.

added to the fact he doesnt want her.

C'On

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

I know. That was a joke.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

if you know this and u still think that ur wud-be bhabi and ur brother have a chance together - ARE U OUT OF UR MIND??
and u tell me ur on a mission to change him?
ur sister-in-law is sad and probably so frustrated at this time she cant think straight but I would assume that maybe you would.
your brother drinks, has other women in his life and god knws what else.. and your still willing to destroy this young girls life over the whole "i love him" ka chakkar.

Aise larke nahi badalte.. time might help them lekin if ur waiting for a miracle to happen then really pray to Allah. and i know this might be hard to hear about ur brother but its true. Think of it this way. Wouldnt you help your friend if you knew that her to-be husband was doing drugs/partying/drinking? wouldnt you tell her and hope to help her out? then why not in this case? just because he's your brother?
please please please dont ruin her life. You dont knw what Allah might be protecting her from!

History Mystery- Part 3
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

I agree with you.

What and how she would feel if it happened to her or her sister.

Why when it comes to our own thing we all become selfish.

Sign hi to kia hai ya kuch bhi huwa hai to shaidaan bhi to khatam ki jaateen hain.

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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

[mod]This thread has been cleaned up, please stick to the topic. Thanks! [/mod]

Timepass - March 2013
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

If your bro. and your cousin get married this would be very unfair on the girl. I think the engagement should be broken off. She does not deserves someone better. I can relate to your story a bit because my bro. is somewhat the same. I would never let him ruin a shareef girl's life.

Timepass - March 2013
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Re: i m extremly sad and dejected

Seems to be a MAJOR lack of communication between everyone. Talk to your brother, and your parents. Call a family meeting. Who knows, maybe your brother is doing all those things, or maybe he is saying he does so he can opt out of this upcoming marriage? Anyhow as a sister, call your brother up, talk to him, and see if you can help. And see if you all can get to the bottom of it. G'luck !

Timepass - March 2013